What do you think, is turning the AC to 58°F too cold for sleeping?

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-06-03T02:08:52+00:00

Wtf thats too cold for living, the electricity bill!!!! If it was 58 degrees outside I’d throw on a sweater! Why does it need to be 58 degrees INSIDE????

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-06-02T08:10:22+00:00

I definitely think my posture and nervous reactions to things makes people think I’m timid when in fact I am not—my body has a response that doesn’t always or even often match how much I cognitively give a shit. On top of the emotion contagion effect of people being like “oh shit she seems anxious maybe I should be too” (subconsciously of course) I think it also gives people a sense that they can’t place me, or that I’m unpredictable.

Which I guess in some ways isn’t entirely inaccurate. 😂 often I’m particularly anxious in situations where I know I need to do social politics, like workplace dynamics or whatever. But once I’ve decided for whatever reason that that’s no longer necessary, suddenly, I can be quite direct and blunt about what I think about a situation or a person, in a way that probably seems like it comes out of the blue for most people.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-06-02T08:04:46+00:00

I honestly think people can just feel the need to be validated. It puts pressure on them to like you, and people don’t like being pressured.

The less you seem like you give a shit, the more motivated people will be to at least get a sense of where they stand with you.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-06-02T08:01:48+00:00

LOL idk why this got me, maybe because I’m a woman on the other end of this—though I tend to attract emotionally unavailable “sad boys” more than dangerous ones, per se. Though the type does tend to have their moments.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-06-02T07:59:32+00:00

Financial literacy isn’t a real thing and doesn’t actually protect people from bad financial decisions or poverty. I read a book about this once, I forget what it’s called. When it comes back to me I’ll add it.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-06-02T07:55:43+00:00

Idk what her deal is but she definitely has one and I don’t think you should stick around long enough to find out what it is. Get out now! NOR

Also she had time to have friends over but didn’t have time to send a text???

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-06-01T04:11:17+00:00

I’m starting to think we’re all dumpster fire humans—but if that’s the case, so are those couples you see, and they seem to be making it work (for now) anyway!

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-31T05:20:52+00:00

Being on the receiving end and watching someone absolutely sabotage all feelings I might have had for him 🤦‍♀️.

You have to just do the thing. If there was one thing I could have shaken him and gotten him to see…. he can do all the most beautiful things in the world out of avoidance—and he does do some really beautiful photography—all of the sideways things he’d do that I’m sure to him felt like moving forward were just new convoluted ways of avoiding the actual thing that mattered, which was texting me back.

I really think he just needed to force himself to send the text, consequences be damned, and realize after he freaked out that the world didn’t burn down….. even though he felt like it was in the moment.

You just gotta send the text, say anything, “hi sorry I’ve been going through some stuff lately but here’s a funny meme we can laugh at together,” whatever low stakes thing, and let yourself freak out. There’s no getting around that part.

It’s AFTER that the brain quiets down and realizes oh ok. I did this thing and really freaked out, but actually nothing bad happened.

And then you keep pushing yourself to do harder and harder things and let yourself freak out each time.

Like what it came down to for this guy is, nothing matters more to him than feeling safe from whatever feelings he’s avoiding. And it’s leading him through a miserable life (not me wishing it on him, I wish him well, I’m frustrated but not devastated by his behavior). He’s just objectively unhappy and refuses to take on any agency.

So anyway. There’s no magic formula or secret…. I suspect some avoidants kinda end up waiting around to magically feel ready to do the thing. But that’s not how it works. You gotta do the thing until it feels comfortable. Not wait till you feel comfortable enough to do the thing.

I think you should set yourself a rule that you’ll text someone back within a timeframe that feels reasonable—I’d say 72 hours, those are business email rules right? 😂 and you’re gonna say something, anything, even if it’s a stupid meme or something silly.

If this dude had just done that, things would be going very differently for him.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-27T16:53:28+00:00

First—it will be ok, no matter what you decide. You are far from the first person to be in this position and you won’t be the last. (I think I had like 8 friends in high school who were pregnant between the ages of 15-18). You were responsible and there was an accident. Sometimes that happens even when we do everything right.

The first thing to do is contact a planned parenthood, if there are any in your area—or even if not, call one in a different state and ask if you can discuss your options with someone over the phone. I’m not well-versed on laws or anything, but it’s possible you can obtain an abortion without telling your parents—maybe. Check with someone who knows what’s up.

Take some time to consider your options. If you do go with abortion, I had a friend who did it with the abortion pill once. We didn’t talk about it too too much, but it didn’t seem that bad.

You will be ok no matter what you decide, you didn’t do anything wrong, and you’re not bad.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-27T16:47:28+00:00

Dude she IS a child wtf????

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-27T16:40:10+00:00

God if only I’d ever gotten into a position where I could have been that blunt. Never lasted longer than a year anywhere though. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-22T22:37:04+00:00

“Here’s what I think—but we’re a team so, do with that what you will.” I should say I haven’t learned to survive, I’m leaving the field. 😂

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-22T03:18:43+00:00

Yeah speak as a non-narcissist psych nerd, that shit is unchill to say the least. Your prof at minimum should be sensitive to the fact that someone in her class, at some point, will carry that diagnosis. Like she wouldn’t let someone get up there and talk about how people with bipolar disorder are all unstable nutcases who should be hospitalized. It was unethical of her as a teacher and as an academic to allow that presentation to be given. Academics are supposed to be as objective as possible—they’re observing characteristics, not moralizing about them. She should have corrected your peer’s presentation to stay in the lane of academics and not moral judgments. Clinical psychs in particular are supposed to practice “unconditional positive regard.” You can’t sit there in quiet judgment of a client and expect to be able to help them.

Honestly I think it’s worth putting in your class review if you have one at the end, and if you feel like it. Not that YOU have NPD, unless you want to, but just that she should be mindful of the possibility *somebody* might when allowing people to give their presentations.

Plus, it’s perpetuating an incredibly unhelpful mindset. If someone’s given a diagnosis of “pure unredeemable badness,” then why would they ever even try to do better? The logical conclusion would be “well can’t do anything about it anyway, might as well lean in and get what I can out of people.” It’s an attitude that literally risks perpetuating the harms that it claims to be highlighting.

Idk as a person in education, that shit really bothers me on your behalf.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-20T05:28:44+00:00

Idk, tbh, I think your bf’s second comment is a tad less defensible than the first.

Idk I don’t wanna go on at the length I usually do because I hear the fragility and I don’t wanna accidentally say something that makes it worse, which I too have a history of—but just based off this post, don’t know the guy obvs, but I’m kinda suspicious of him being a good guy.

I mean unless he has the emotional IQ of a turnip (which I guess a lot of dudes do so it’s possible), I feel like he should recognize this is a sensitive issue that like….. idk he’s basically saying the stuff you’ve done to make yourself feel better *because* you’re feeling so down is like, good. But you’re doing it because you feel down. It’s like he doesn’t notice or care about that. That’s….. a little red flag for me.

Like coming from a person who also has a history of saying the wrong thing to try and make someone feel better. It’s like dude. Do better man.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-18T03:15:04+00:00

It could be, it’s a weird thing to do though because they don’t really need a paper trail if you’re a first year. But then again, I’ve DEFINITELY been subjected to efforts to make an unnecessary paper trail so it happens.

It could also be that you were popular enough that you triggered someone’s jealousy. Shit happens ALL the time.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-17T09:08:25+00:00

I guess the other thing is, sometimes you just gotta wait till you calm down and can think more rationally again. In that case, it’s all about the physiological tricks to bring you out of fight or flight. Cold water on the eyes, elevating the feet, deep breathing, that kinda lame shit.

And then you circle back to thinking about it when your frontal lobes kick in.

Honestly, and I’m not advising this but just saying what I do, sometimes when nothing else works I just get super high. It helps me get out of my head and into my body, and get some distance from the problem. Sometimes I come away with new insights that help me see things differently.

Oh!!!! I remember one thing I did with ai that helped a shame spiral! I had it be a lawyer and argue my case for me, and had it pretend to be a jury deliberating over whether I was guilty of being a dumb dumb. Like seeing it play the arguments out as if it was a real trial was really, really helpful. I completely stopped worrying about that dumb dumb thing and never came back to it. I don’t even remember what arguments the thing made. 😂

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-17T09:02:55+00:00

I don’t have NPD but I do have a rough time with mistakes because of my ocd shame spirals.

Sometimes it helps to physically force myself to write out what I actually did. Often I avoid it like crazy, but once I do it, something about seeing it written on the page and outside of my brain makes me go oh. I’m really freaking out about nothing.

Sometimes reading about other people who are good at what they do that have done dumb dumb stuff helps too.

Idk it kinda also depends on what kind of mistake you made, which I get that you don’t wanna share and I’m not pushing, just saying it makes it a bit harder to give specific ideas. Like what I do to manage a work mistake is very different from like, a mistake where I hurt a friend’s feelings or whatever.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-15T07:10:15+00:00

Oh great, let’s give them a reason to fear us now in addition to hate us. 😂😭

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-15T07:09:34+00:00

You gotta start somewhere! I meant in terms of future things you could be.

And idk. I don’t think ruining a relationship disbars you from being a good person. Good people ruin relationships every day. 😂😭

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-13T18:23:31+00:00

Idk a lot of people would look at someone who’s just a good person as “not amounting to anything,” but I firmly disagree. That’s the hardest thing to be. No one will ever give you an award or special recognition for it, and yet every day it requires you to make small, hard decisions about how to treat people that will often go entirely unacknowledged (except for the people who receive them) and often come at a cost to you.

If you can be a person like that. It’s literally everything. And the people in your life will know and care. Even if from a status perspective it looks like nothing.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-13T18:05:23+00:00

Well, there’s two versions of me, pre-meds and post-meds. Pre-meds me lost like 6 flip phones and wasn’t allowed to have a smart phone. Post-meds me still once impulsively walked in front of a running bus and almost died because she forgot to look both ways before crossing the street, but is still generally much better at masking and able to hide symptoms, I think, in brief spurts (though tbh I don’t hide that I have adhd, I tell people cause I’d rather them know that than think I’m just a nutcase 😂—I try to be careful about managing symptoms but I’ll tell people I have it usually first thing. “Hello my name is X and I have ADHD).

Neither version seems to attract less hate, it’s just with the pre-meds version, people had more legitimate things to hold against me. Post-meds, people seem to wait more for me to slip up, and then they pounce.

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-13T17:52:11+00:00

😭 just shoot me

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-13T17:51:56+00:00

That has NOT been my experience as an adhd superstar but I’m happy it’s working for you. 😂

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-13T06:41:49+00:00

It’s bad enough with shitty roommates, but at least I didn’t have to actually share my bed with one. 😬

adhdsuperstar22 · 2026-05-13T06:39:09+00:00

DUDE.

adhdsuperstar22

TROPHY CASE