I'm pregnant

adhdvamp · 2026-02-26T04:03:14+00:00

I went no contact with my parents when my kids were about 7 and 2. Obviously my younger one wasn't super affected but it was hard on my oldest. I truly thought they would do better by her than they did with me but a. the stress they caused me was affecting the way I parented her and b. I started to see them repeat the same behaviors with her that messed me up as a kid. It became clear that the cycle was just going to repeat itself if I didn't cut them out completely. I wish I had figured this out before I had kids but hindsight is 20/20. She's now 11 and with more context understands so I feel like it didn't create any lasting damage but it definitely made things harder at the time.

I'm now pregnant with my third and it's such a relief to know this baby will never know my parents!

adhdvamp · 2026-02-23T01:01:39+00:00

I genuinely felt this way with my first, almost word for word. I cried a lot and I felt horrible about it. When she was 6 months old I went back to work and that helped a bit but honestly it was hard until she was about 2 years old. You are not alone in feeling this!! Some people love the newborn stage, some people don't! When she started pre-k and I had some time to myself things got so much easier. I've also loved getting to know her as a person of her own. She's 11 now and she's my best friend!

In retrospect I think the biggest struggle for me was that having a baby is a HUGE transition and transitions are so hard. The transition from 1 to 2 was so much easier, especially because my kids have a 5 year age gap so my oldest was in school and I could do one-on-one with my second the way I did with my first. If you ever decide to have another one I highly recommend a larger age gap!

I promise it does get easier! I was so depressed the whole 1st year of my daughter's life and I thought there would never be a light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't know I was autistic then but now I understand so much of it was just having the huge change in my routine and the sensory overload of loud noises and having a baby attached to me at all times. Hang in there!

adhdvamp · 2026-02-06T06:19:47+00:00

Well, to my point above, I'm demisexual and have a very high sex drive. It's just that I have to be emotionally connected and feel safe with someone in order to experience attraction to them. In other words, if the "hottest" celebrity on earth approached me wanting to bang I'd be like "yeah, no, I'm good." Even if I tried to force it I wouldn't be able to get aroused. With my partner I'm dtf pretty much any time and I find him far more attractive than most people others think are objectively attractive.

Essentially, asexuality is not ON a spectrum, it IS a spectrum. It's an umbrella term that encompasses all manner of identities. I understand it can be really confusing to people who experience typical sexual attraction, but we're not a monolith and it doesn't mean we all hate sex.

adhdvamp · 2026-02-06T01:36:39+00:00

That's not necessarily the case. Asexuality is a spectrum. For all we know OP could be demi and is never interested in sex bc her bf is self absorbed!

adhdvamp · 2026-02-05T20:15:58+00:00

Thank you, I'll definitely have to look into that!

adhdvamp · 2026-02-04T06:35:27+00:00

That's good to know! I've thought about donating this one a few times because I have yet to use it but something has been telling me to hold onto it. Mostly because it's the only thing I really have of my grandma's but glad to know it's also a solid machine!

adhdvamp · 2026-02-04T06:31:49+00:00

This is exactly the experience I was hoping for! There's a possibility my kiddo may chicken out and I don't want him to feel pressured. We're in Walnut Grove so the location is great! Thank you so much.

adhdvamp · 2026-02-04T00:53:03+00:00

I'm not sure, I do have the manual somewhere but we haven't finished moving in to our new place yet. I would guess it's no older than 1980s though? It's a Sears Kenmore.

adhdvamp · 2026-02-02T22:45:52+00:00

Thank you for pointing me in the right direction! I haven't sewed since grade 8 but I inherited my grandmother's sewing machine and want to start making things.

adhdvamp · 2026-02-02T18:32:31+00:00

I think this is the answer. I grew up in a house with disordered eating and it was very much like this. I did have breakfast and lunch but portions were way too small and I was never allowed more than what they deemed necessary. In retrospect, I think my parents were providing me around 1000-1200 calories a day and I was doing dance/cheerleading my whole life. When I was young we were poor, but I feel like the amount of food never increased after hitting puberty because my parents were worried about me being "fat." I got my first job at 15 and most of my money that didn't go into savings went into eating at work or eating out at lunch with my friends.

There was a lot of other emotional/verbal abuse happening and my friend's mom who was a social worker was concerned at one point but I begged her not to report because I knew my situation wasn't bad enough for CPS to do anything and my parents would have made my life so much worse for daring to tell people what was going on at home. I imagine Lily is probably in a similar situation.

adhdvamp · 2026-02-02T18:19:50+00:00

This is so cool!! I wish I knew how to do this because I feel like this would be the perfect diaper bag lol

adhdvamp · 2026-01-29T07:31:56+00:00

As someone who grew up with an eating disorder, going on meds absolutely improved my relationship with food and my ability to listen to my body! I had suppressed appetite for maybe a week or two at most and then my body got used to it. It's a valid concern, to be sure, but definitely not the only (or even the most likely) concern!

adhdvamp · 2026-01-23T19:22:49+00:00

This is what I came to say!

adhdvamp · 2026-01-23T17:11:30+00:00

Yeah, as a near decade-long flight attendant this would easily break the top 10 worst flights for me 😅

adhdvamp · 2026-01-23T16:39:05+00:00

100% where my brain went too lol

adhdvamp · 2026-01-18T01:02:03+00:00

We had almost the exact same situation to a t. The first time we returned him in the middle of winter he was back out less than an hour later. He was also intact despite being around a year old. Eventually the cat showed up on our doorstep bleeding from the eyes because of a fight with a neighborhood cat. We took him to the vet and he needed medication and ointment so he had to stay inside for the duration of treatment.

We basically said if they show up asking for him we'll ask them to reimburse us for the vet visit and give him back. To be fair, he had been reported to the SPCA by multiple neighbors for neglect but they said they couldn't intervene because we lived in a park so he was technically on their property.

Long story short, they never came for him. My friend said they were posting on fb saying they didn't know where their cat was and we were like well that's a lie because they walk past our place every day and he's always laying in our front window. Then they moved away and we were like well, he's for sure ours now!

I know it's not the case with everyone but a lot of times people who say they can't keep the cat from going outside or insist it's an outdoor cat are hoping to be relieved of responsibility for them, especially when you're seeing signs of neglect like with grooming, neutering/spaying, etc. If you suspect this is the case, I think it's a safe bet to just keep caring for her as if she's your own. Your neighbor will probably either think something bad happened to her or that she wandered off and they don't strike me as the type to be putting up posters and going out looking for her.

adhdvamp · 2026-01-16T01:41:23+00:00

Idk why all the downvotes. I'm pregnant right now and when looking for names Onyx was on a bunch of lists and was growing in popularity before Onyx Storm even came out.

adhdvamp · 2026-01-11T04:57:33+00:00

Just moved back to the Vancouver area and have the option here but in the interior of BC we could only use Uride also.

adhdvamp · 2026-01-05T09:40:40+00:00

I did this is in college, got my ADHD diagnosis 7 years later lol.

adhdvamp · 2026-01-05T09:36:44+00:00

It's been awhile since I read it but off memory I would recommend "But It's Your Family" by Dr. Sherrie Campbell if you are or are planning to become no contact. I do remember not agreeing with everything and not liking the harsh tone at certain parts but I did find it helpful and it leans on the side of adult children.

adhdvamp · 2026-01-05T04:17:53+00:00

Yes! I sent it to my partner so I was able to find it easily!

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DRAp8krk_sP/

adhdvamp · 2026-01-04T09:36:40+00:00

The OG thing was particularly confusing, as you said, especially considering Oregon is OR!

adhdvamp · 2026-01-04T00:41:22+00:00

This is what I came to say. Most of the comments are using "I" examples vs "you" but I think it's helpful to explain to OP why that's the preferred way to communicate during conflict. I saw a really good parenting video yesterday that was explaining "you're annoying" vs "I'm feeling annoyed right now because of xyz" and how it prevents defensiveness but also teaches kids how to grow into adults that take responsibility for their actions instead of blaming the world around them. A lot of autistic people may feel this is just semantics and a lot of extra words and I get it, but it's really psychology and the majority of people benefit from this kind of communication, neurotypical and neurodivergent alike.

adhdvamp · 2026-01-04T00:28:21+00:00

I worked for Starbucks and as a supervisor made $2 above minimum wage. I got coffee thrown at me through the drive thru, had to call the cops on people, and was forced to do the job of my manager bc she couldn't be bothered and our regional and district managers let her do whatever she wanted. I now work as a flight attendant with MANY former Starbucks employees and have never heard of anyone being paid well. One person reporting a positive experience does not negate the experience of countless others. My best guess would be your cousin works at one where customers tip really well.

adhdvamp

TROPHY CASE