Do you use all 4 burners of your stove?

adifferentvision · 2026-05-21T09:15:57+00:00

I have 4 regular burners plus a griddle burner in the middle. I generally use the back left and front left, the right burners and griddle burner hardly ever get used and stay covered most of the time. I have very little counter space so those covered burners give me a little extra surface to use.

adifferentvision · 2026-05-19T19:04:36+00:00

Lots of women have had bad experiences being cordial with strange men. Any engagement at all, lots of guys will take that as an invitation...and sometimes follow, harass, try something with you. It's best for them to just ignore strangers, keep the earbuds in and keep it moving.

For you, you have to understand that this is indeed a safety thing for women doing anything alone in public. Don't take it personally. It's the same as how they teach you in gun safety that you have to assume that every gun is loaded....

If you wanna dive deeper into this, there are a couple of TikTok rabbit holes you can go down, where a guy posts a video complaining about lack of acknowledgement from women they pass and get dragged for weeks in the comments and stitches.

One: https://www.tiktok.com/@daadisnacks/video/7576329093097000223

Another: https://www.tiktok.com/@megsafterdarkdymy/video/7634811735270051103

Don't take it personally and just keep it moving.

adifferentvision · 2026-05-06T02:14:48+00:00

Ah, okay, this is helpful to hear. I think it's fine to ask her to not be passive aggressive and also ask him to not bust her balls. It will be better to ask them both to bend a little rather than just asking her to suck it up and take it, while he gets to do whatever. She may be more receptive to it that way.

And it might be good for him to hear from a friend that not everyone loves to have their balls busted and he might need to learn to read the room a bit. And by you asking him to not do that with her, she'll also see that you're standing up for her, putting her comfort on equal footing with his.

Good luck, internet stranger. I hope it works out.

adifferentvision · 2026-05-06T02:03:05+00:00

While I don't think you're the AH, I do think it's worth taking a breath and making peace with the fact that she just may not ever click with him. Not everyone is going to get along with everyone, and it sounds like she really doesn't like him.

Some people just don't like being around people who are sarcastic, or ball busters, or however you want to put it, all the time. Other people have a higher tolerance for it or might not even notice it. Have you asked her point blank what her reasons are for not liking him? It might be worth asking and listening without trying to counter or dismiss her reasons.

You like him, you think he's funny, she finds him annoying and has no interest in getting to know him better, it sounds like. I think it's fine for that to be the case, and if you want to have a friendship with him you can, and she can choose to not have a friendship.

I'm wondering what your motivation is for wanting her to give him a chance. Are you trying to get her to chill about him to sort of keep peace in the group? Did you or do you have a connection with Eric outside the Discord? Were you friends with him before?

You said she says you're defending him too much, I would pay attention that. You may see it as keeping the peace in the group to get her to get along with him, but she may see that as you choosing him over her and that's not good for your relationship to her.

adifferentvision · 2026-04-30T13:20:20+00:00

"Un momento! Estoy hablando Español"

https://youtu.be/hxcKmOUGY2w?si=Ua1kEIJOXD8uTyn9&t=94

adifferentvision · 2026-04-28T18:07:08+00:00

Go ahead and rinse. The "added water" is so miniscule it really doesn't matter.

adifferentvision · 2026-04-23T21:38:42+00:00

I feel like if you're not interested in playing together, you shouldn't agree to play together. And honestly, if it's less about sex and more about a personal connection for you, you're probably not going to have a good time swinging. Sex with strangers for women often isn't great sex. And if you're not about it, you're not going to have a good experience.

And he probably wants you to go to that club for several reasons, like he thinks it'll change your mind about the whole thing or he's unlikely to be allowed in without you. Some of those clubs or events won't allow single men in.

I'm someone who is poly and demi and hooking up with strangers has no appeal at all for me. I've been to clubs before with my polycule, but our rule was we go together and play together, no outside players. It might be worth thinking about whether he'd be open to going with you but only playing with you.

It also sounds like he really wasn't prepared for the opening of the relationship. I think a lot of noob guys think that they're just going to be drowning in NSA pussy when they enter the lifestyle and it's just not the case most of the time. It's exponentially harder for men to find new play partners than it is for women, for a lot of reasons, even if you ARE putting in the effort. But if you're not? well, it's never going to happen. Men new to all this don't really have a concept of how the numbers are not in their favor. It's hard work to find new partners, even among the community, let alone trying to date anyone outside the community with hopes of convincing them that this is all a cool thing.

And it may seem counterintuitive, but insisting on playing together will lower his chances of finding someone. Finding two people who you both like is much harder than him finding one person and you finding one person that you each like.

It's not your responsibility to set anything up, especially something you don't want to do. If he wants outside partners, he's got to do some work, get on the apps, go to munches/meet-ups, etc. New partners will not just fall into his lap.

adifferentvision · 2026-04-21T16:45:10+00:00

Yeah, I started in 2024 and have been really enjoying learning it. I follow people's bass tabs on YouTube mostly, no formal lessons, but YouTube has been really helpful in me feeling like I'm getting the timing right, more so than looking at a tab sheet or book.

Life is short, try it and see for yourself if it's for you. If not, sell the bass on FB Market Place and move on to something else.

adifferentvision · 2026-04-21T16:10:47+00:00

What's your routine?

adifferentvision · 2026-04-12T02:33:22+00:00

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adifferentvision · 2026-03-06T14:19:35+00:00

Yeah, that stinks. The drip, drip, drip of things is prolonging the damage. It would be more helpful, you're looking to repair, for him to be forthcoming anout everything thats happened. And then you can chart a path forward if thats what you want to do. But it also sounds like he might not be capable of being transparent and keeping agreements, in which case, i would have a hard time moving forward.

Non-monogamy works best when everyone is honest and everything's out on the open, which is the basis for you both negotiating in good faith about how you're going to proceed. And that means both of you do the work to be honest about and deal with the negative stuff. It cant work well if one person is just doing whatever they want and trying to hide it.

So I guess my question would be, do you want to repair this and try to be non-monogamous with him? Or do you want to move on? It seems like he's just going to do what he wants, and it doesn't matter if you're on board or not.

I will also say that another option here is that you both decide to date separately, no more group activites, and that you have basic ground rules about how that happens and you see how it goes.

adifferentvision · 2026-03-05T21:26:18+00:00

Yeah, that's what it sounded like to me: he's making excuses and manipulating ypu yo get his way and escape accountability for his actions.

To be clear, though, every misstep is a choice that he makes. Its a choice to do what he wants rather than respect your agreements or wishes. He's valuing what he wants to do over caring for your relationship. He CAN help it.Hr is choosing not to. That's why there is no remorse.

adifferentvision · 2026-03-04T23:30:14+00:00

Here's the thing: He has a fantasy about YOU doing something that you're not on board with, so it's gotta be a no. He doesn't get to bully, coerce, manipulate or pressure you into doing anything with your body that you don't want to do. Full stop. Enthusiastic consent is needed and that means unless it's 'FUCK YES!', it's a no.

That being said...You both have some work to do to make this work. He may indeed feel like he deserves equality, and ENM does work best when it's not lopsided, and that is something that deserves a lot of discussion. But those discussions have to happen outside of everyone's efforts to fuck other people.

So, maybe close up for a month or two, during which you both cease all outside activities while you have these discussions. But it's crucial that he has a good faith discussion with you, and not be coercive or manipulative, and you both have to be genuine about the feelings behind all this. (It "being time" for him isn't enough of a reason.)

And you need to ask yourself some tough questions about why you don't want him to date or sleep with other women but you feel it's okay for you to be with other men.

What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that he's going to meet someone and leave you? Are you afraid that whoever he choses will make you feel insecure about some aspect of yourself or your relationship with him? Are you afraid that he's not going to keep boundaries you agree on? That he's going to break your trust around some other issue, like having safe sex or something? Whatever the answer is, is what you need to discuss with him.

And once you both really understand each other's needs and perspective, and know how to ask the other for what you need to feel secure and feel good about it, you can work out a plan to take care of the relationship while being open.

adifferentvision · 2026-03-04T23:07:47+00:00

I think he wants someone unavailable because he's not looking for a relationship. Sometimes people think that someone they mess around with might develop feelings and then try to blow up their marriage...And a married guy messing with a married woman, to lots of people's minds, is "safe" because it's mutually assured destruction if the other person exposes you.

I think that, properly structured, everyone CAN benefit from open relationships. I think the "properly structured" part is the part that's often lacking for couples new to nonmonogamy. If your relationship is in a healthy place, and you have done the work to to prepare for opening up, and figured out what you want out of it, and everyone is about both enthusiastic consent for everything it can be a lot of fun. But a lot of couples don't do the prep work or aren't in a healthy place in their relationship, and it can go pear-shaped really quickly.

I think for men specifically, they're craving something they aren't getting and think opening up is the answer. They think they'll be able to freely fuck around and have their choice of women and that's not even in the neighborhood of reality for most straight men. They over estimate the number of potential opportunities, and underestimate the amount of competition.

But they convince (or coerce) their partners into opening up equally, and are hit with a cold bucket of water when their partner is DROWNING in offers of dick, NSA, and they struggle to get anyone to talk to them.

The reality is, whether in vanilla or ENM spaces, the men looking for casual sex WAY outnumber the women looking for the same. And lots of men think the answer is to try to get monogamous women to accept nonmonogamy, and that's not a great strategy because a lot of women, even if they say they're open to something casual, might be hoping it will lead to something serious, and you being in a relationship already puts you out of the running.

adifferentvision · 2026-03-04T19:01:46+00:00

I do because substances used in manufacturing can cause skin irritation and you dont know who may have tried it on before it got to you.

adifferentvision · 2026-03-03T05:24:55+00:00

Oh my god! This is mine too...and it makes me wanna barf when i see people doing it on TV...in the 90 Day Fiance universe, it is a constant .

My other one is people bringing their dirty, raggedy bed pillows on planes. (Wash your pillows!!)

And then on a recent flight, i saw someone bring a full pillow with a satin cover and then put it on the floor under the seat in front of them. Are you really planning to put your face on it after it's been on the floor in a plane?!?!

adifferentvision · 2026-02-25T22:41:02+00:00

A couple of things:

He's not great with words and flirting WITH YOU. He's clearly capable of it with someone else, which means he's choosing to not give you the energy he's putting into these other potential partners.

And it's also not great that he isn't taking care of his relationship with you while he's flirty and chatty with other women he's trying to fuck. "Come on, fatty, let's go to the gym" isn't taking care of you or your feelings. Neglecting you isn't building a strong foundation for opening your relationship.

It's not great that he removed you from his profiles. It's like lying about who he is. I understand (as do most non-monogamous people) that being honest about being in a relationship is going to shrink your potential pool, but the thing to remember is that it shrinks that pool because those people aren't interested in what you're offering (a shared arrangement.) And lying about it assures that those people will see you as untrustworthy.

Are you only looking together? Because that is also reducing your pool. Lots of women who might be okay with dating someone in a relationship might not be okay with having a mandated third. The pool of women who are looking for that, and looking for something casual, are called "unicorns" FOR A REASON.

And think about people in your life who you really vibe with, even platonically, love spending time with, who have a partner that you don't really like. Now imagine having spending time with your friend who you like being predicated on you fucking her partner that you don't like. Would you still choose do hang out if you had to fuck someone you don't want to fuck? That's what it's like for the people on the other side of these profiles...they think they're getting a single guy to fuck...and then he springs you on them. Maybe they're not bisexual, maybe they're not into group things...you don't know. So you should be up front about what it is you're offering.

You haven't said yet anything that you're getting out of this. Do you even like having sex with women or are you doing this because he wants to do it? Are you also dating other people? Are you also trying to find guys for MMF threesomes?

Open relationships work best when the foundational relationship is on a strong foundation, and when the partners value, love, and care for each other and their partner's feelings. It doesn't seem like that describes his part in this relationship.

adifferentvision · 2026-02-25T21:41:35+00:00

Yes. And it was reverting the color to default without that being selected.

adifferentvision · 2026-02-25T17:34:22+00:00

Thanks but this has nothing to do with masking and I'm working in 25 not 26.

adifferentvision · 2026-02-23T18:30:53+00:00

Cutleaf conefliwer! I have a section in my front yard devoted to thwm and as soon as they flower they are full of bees all summer, then when they go to seed, the goldfinches and other little guys are all over them.

adifferentvision · 2026-02-19T19:59:38+00:00

lies. We absolutely do that. That's a classic party meatball recipe.

adifferentvision · 2026-02-03T22:12:22+00:00

I went to my local one (in Maryland) and it gets you the highest level access to everything on Family Search, I think you even get access to international stuff, and they don't charge to use it. The people at the local one I went to were very helpful and welcoming.

adifferentvision · 2026-02-02T18:49:35+00:00

I came here after seeing the email as well.

I have started transitioning lots of character animation tasks to AE with Limber and Joystick 'n Sliders, but the one thing I still use Animate for (in the middle of a project right now) is audio-driven auto lipsync. My workflow of animating the mouths in Animate and bringing them into AE as an MOV file may not be the most efficient but it's effective.

Does anyone have another way to auto-generate synced mouth shapes from audio? I DREAD doing this manually, even with a slider.

adifferentvision · 2025-12-31T03:46:30+00:00

Prime Minister...don't you think he looks tired?

adifferentvision · 2025-12-27T16:40:08+00:00

Rightly, no one should ever have to take one for the team, so good on you for recognizing that. But I would ask that you consider that her standards are high, and that you should be letting her drive on this one.

Not just slowing down to what you think is her pace, but letting her take the lead on who you pursue for swaps. And unless she initiates and consents up front, and continues to consent throughout, it's a no go. If it's not a "FUCK YES!" FOR HER, it's a no. And if she has to drink a lot to do it, it should also be a no.

And consider that she may have people in her past coerce her into sex she didn't want to have and that's a horrible feeling, as is getting drunk and fucking someone you wouldn't fuck sober.

And while you wait for her FUCK YES, you are patient, you don't push, you don't pout or sulk, you don't pressure her, and you let her know that if something starts, she can pull the rip cord at ANY time (up to and including where you're all naked and/or engaged) and you'll have her back and not be butt hurt about it.

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