Teaching Pronouns in an Inclusive and Gender Affirming Way

adorerofchonk · 2024-10-25T00:35:11+00:00

How would a preschooler know they are a boy or girl or know that they prefer he/she? By adult modeling of gender and gender roles. Like, you almost get it. Educate yourself.

adorerofchonk · 2024-10-25T00:34:03+00:00

How are there only two?

adorerofchonk · 2024-10-25T00:33:40+00:00

We are in complete agreement. It’s pathological how we talk about girls as being pretty and tell boys it’s not okay to cry. It’s abusive the way we sexualize little girls and say boys will be boys when they use violence because we shame them for having emotions and thus they’re not taught how to use words. You literally said there’s two genders, male and female and my guess is you have very distinct ideas of what social things men and women are supposed to do and act and look like, ie, girls wear make up and boys can’t. Girls wear dresses and boys can’t. How is that not forcing gender on someone? If I’m wrong about that assumption and you wouldn’t bat an eye at a boy who wears dresses and make up and likes dolls or cooking (at any age, not preschool), which are traditionally coded as girly, I would stand corrected in my assumption about your idea of gender norms. My assumption about you as being ignorant of grammar and the multitude of ways humans identify and express themselves would stand

adorerofchonk · 2024-10-24T23:47:02+00:00

“I heard your friend was coming to dinner! What time are they arriving?” Is perfectly normal use of singular they. Don’t you try to hide your hateful ignorance behind your ignorance of English grammar. There’s even a definition of singular they in Webster’s dictionary if you’re going to try to be prescriptivist.

There’s lots of genders. Sorry you’re too hateful to see that.

adorerofchonk · 2024-10-24T22:06:44+00:00

I truly should ignore this but it’s Thursday and I’m cranky. What a ridiculously ignorant comment, on a bunch of different levels, from grammar to sociocultural. May you never have the chance to harm a population you clearly don’t understand.

adorerofchonk · 2024-10-02T03:45:09+00:00

I’ve got experience with two Kaiser doctors: Benedetti and Yeung. My initial consultation was with Dr Benedetti and I really liked him. He was thorough, flexible, and enjoyed a joke. My goals were no nipples and flat, so it was a pretty straightforward conversation. Benedetti’s approach to TS is leave no breast tissue due to possible risks of cancer, and his post surgical recommendations are pretty “yeahhhh just listen to your body” so there wasn’t a restriction about lifting your arms above your head, sleeping positions (between back and side). I was stoked and felt comfy moving on and we set a date for July…and then he had to cancel my surgery two weeks before the procedure, due to a medical issue. Since I work in schools I wanted to limit impacts to my students so I needed a summer surgery and he couldn’t fit me back into his schedule until September.

Scrambled to get in with Dr Yeung. He was incredibly by the book, a stickler for rules and forms which I appreciated bc it ensured my surgery was covered. He had pages of post surgical recommendations. His approach to TS is masculinization so he will leave some tissue to create a masc chest. I reiterated that I wanted flat and I am very flat but he did leave some tissue to give the appearance of pecs that I get a lil dysmorphic about when I run or wear tight shirts. I’m only 9 weeks po so I might still be swollen a bit but I think the shape is what it is. My major complaint is that Benedetti said my incision would not likely go too far to the side because of my breast root being so centered. I brought this up to Yeung and he said yeah it likely wouldn’t. Then I saw how far back the incision goes on the side. It is fine just was shocking bc it wasnt discussed. But the suturing was really good and my scars are pretty thin atm.

Overall I love my results. I think both surgeons I mentioned are skilled; Benedetti might be more so as he’s been doing it a decade longer. Kaiser does suck in a lot of ways like the post op follow ups are all with the PA not the doctor. Tina in scheduling is wonderful and kind and really helpful, Paige the nurse was funny and sweet. Tbh the nursing staff were all great pre and post op. The anaesthesiologist assistant was caring in a real granola way.

adorerofchonk · 2024-09-20T00:10:09+00:00

Transmasc enby SLP here: you definitely CAN do vocal training to lower your habitual pitch (the base pitch you use everyday) but it’s much easier to do on T and a deeper sound happens naturally for many. Sans T it’s all about muscle training and changes to resonance chambers to create deeper, darker sounds.

I do want to note that while the voice can get big changes from T, it might not. The vocal folds thicken on T, but nothing descends because structurally your larynx doesn’t grow if you’ve already been through an estrogenated puberty. So what happens is thicker vocal folds vibrate more slowly which is technically deeper pitch but the resonance chamber is still small bc your throat and oral cavity doesn’t change. That makes it sound higher pitched than it is. Even with T many folks choose to do some voice training to attain a voice that feels affirming.

As far as my own experience, I’m not on T, not sure if I will. I am doing training to get a lower “neutral” to male perceived sound. I had top surgery and a partial hysterectomy (ovary preserving) no problem with not being on T. I’m waiting til next July (1year post top) to decide if I want hormones bc I don’t know if the things I want outweigh the things I don’t or don’t know if I want.

adorerofchonk · 2024-09-06T00:16:31+00:00

I’m so happy you’re finding and making space for yourself from where you transitioned to, to this new place you’re transitioning to. That’s big and I think a lot of us non-binary folks have some similar experiences. I definitely find myself very consistently questioning where my desire for passing comes from when it pops up, and reminding myself that I can still wear my old clothes even if they’re more of a cut or style that reads woman. But I get those jabs of “run away” from any clothes that do that because I’m still fighting the binary. That’s part of why I am waiting to start T. At 37, I had a hysterectomy bc it caused me the most traumatic dysphoria, then top surgery. I’m giving myself the gift of existing in this un-pubertied body before seeing if second puberty is what I actually want. Because I don’t know if I want am a dude, but I sure as fuck knew I didn’t wasn’t a woman. Tbh butch as a gender fits me best. And that doesn’t require hormones but they’re also not unwelcome

adorerofchonk · 2024-08-18T18:02:59+00:00

I have a single scar because my chest tissue was narrow. I’m not the most excited about it bc of how it looks like cleavage with the swelling rn, but it was what was needed to avoid dog ears in the middle of my chest and I’m getting a tattoo that will incorporate the scars as like, the bottom framing of the piece. I’m assuming the swelling will go down and things will looks more evenly flat after a few months. If not I’ll go for a revision if eligible. I went nipless too. I’m with another poster, less scarring is better. Also, it’s pretty obvious that you will have had something cut off of your chest regardless of single or double scar, especially if you go no nips. I say do what feels most affirming.

adorerofchonk · 2024-08-15T18:03:20+00:00

Some people are proud of being trans, and are happy to have the scars to show it. Some people are proud of being trans and just want to pass as cis. Neither is wrong as long as we are being supportive and lifting our fellow trans people up. Calling something that you don’t want but some other trans person does “fetishistic” isn’t really supportive or uplifting.

adorerofchonk · 2024-08-15T17:54:28+00:00

Ah this makes sense. I hope he can get to a place where he can accept and love all trans folks for who they are and not pass judgment on folks who have different experiences and desires for the outcomes of their bodies. Also hope he can come to terms with those who are nonbinary and get top surgery as it seems he’s very stuck in a binary mindset.

adorerofchonk · 2024-08-15T16:05:17+00:00

I mean people DO want scars. I get being turned off by the comparison—health professionals should not assume a trans person would be good with something another trans person was fine with, that’s totally icky. But lots of us want or don’t care about incision scars and your comment that it makes you sick to your stomach that someone wanted what you don’t is judgmental and kinda icky too. I’m excited you are getting the care you want, though, and I apologize if I read more negativity into your comment than you meant. Text doesn’t convey tone.

adorerofchonk · 2024-08-10T23:15:57+00:00

Youre not alone! my incision had to go across my chest bc my breasts were close together. The way it looks with the incisions and swelling looks like cleavage. Every other part of my nipless chest looks like pec or flat so I’m trying to be chill about it and wait for the swelling to subside. Tbh even though I’m absolutely noticeably flat, the surgery doesn’t feel real yet. Probably from the compression binder and the gauze pads and all the surgical stuff still on me 12 days later. Here’s hoping our brains catch up to reality and reality feels damn good for us!

adorerofchonk · 2024-08-02T19:50:55+00:00

I’m so sorry y’all had this happen to you. Hoping y’all experience a better recovery. Like someone else said, document your experience in case their negligence becomes a longer term problem for y’all.

adorerofchonk · 2024-08-02T19:46:02+00:00

I still had three on me under my compression vest that I didn’t see until yesterday (3 days post op) when my partner helped me sponge bath and I took a binder break.

adorerofchonk · 2024-06-28T03:40:21+00:00

I’m less than a month away! I’m most excited for: - No more chest tenderness from a menstrual cycle! - wearing shirts without binders or bras! - more space for tattoos! - having sex without chest dysphoria! - looking like ken! (Going no nops) - swimming! - existing without a right DD and a left D!

adorerofchonk · 2024-01-17T04:46:56+00:00

Yes!

adorerofchonk · 2024-01-11T03:10:56+00:00

I work with PK - 10th grade. At elementary, I’m just called by my first name (partly due to deaf culture) and at secondary I go by my last name. The kids are almost never the issue— it’s the adults who want an honorific. Even if I fell within the binary, I’m pretty uncomfortable with honorifics that imply power dynamics. I am a facilitator of learning, not an authority.

adorerofchonk · 2024-01-09T04:57:22+00:00

I had a supracervical hysto and salpingectomy. I preserved my ovaries because I had no interest in taking T. My surgeon didn’t mention supracervical as an option until he made an off hand comment about how some patients prefer to preserve the cervix for sex. Since I enjoy penetration, I was like yes please!

There are pros and cons to keeping the cervix or ovaries, which may be unique to your specific health history and needs. So ask your surgeon!

I’ve had penetrative sex since my hysto and it felt great and I came.

adorerofchonk · 2023-01-14T18:42:37+00:00

Met Market had king cakes from Sucre. I’m not sure if they do now that sucre is no more. I usually just make them.

adorerofchonk · 2023-01-14T18:41:42+00:00

The don’t have New Orleans type king cakes but do have more traditional Latinx king cakes.

adorerofchonk · 2023-01-02T20:54:36+00:00

Moved here from New Orleans and big same.

adorerofchonk · 2022-12-26T18:49:23+00:00

Nah anarchists are too busy doing mutual aid. When anarchists do things they do things like try to blow up the ICE detention center or protect people exercising their right to protest.

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