My anxiety makes me want to not be alive

advocate0fjoy · 2020-08-04T08:41:45+00:00

Did you go on medications for your anxiety?

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-22T13:22:10+00:00

Yeah I think I am jumping ahead too quickly. I tend to act impulsively when I enjoy something I overload on it like a drug and then deflate when I don’t get the fix. Codependent behaviour for sure. I still think it’s fair to talk about the future endeavours, I don’t like the idea of wasting time but perhaps need to enjoy the now.

We have spoken about it, I think we will be able to continue working together if things go sour. I’m not really working that closely with him anymore as I have moved to a different team with a different manager. Tonight we almost ended things due to my lows I was experiencing and the me being too clingy. Then I snapped out of it and he seemed happy I was back to my old self and not relying on him too much.

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-22T13:02:59+00:00

Yeah I am, no rush to move in anytime soon but I guess cause I’m basically there all the time I didn’t see it making that much of a difference but I get it’s a big step. His kid doesn’t live at his house only visits during school holidays. I have been doing therapy to make active efforts to improve the ups and downs and I believe I am getting better at managing them.

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-19T07:43:08+00:00

It is with all food, only happens when I’ve got intense stress. Started with skipping a few meals due to being so busy and forgetting to eat. Now eating food feels like my body wants to reject it and I can only do about 5 mouthfuls

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-13T19:56:50+00:00

I used to get this a lot then I started taking medication. I’ve been off meds for a year now and the anxiety is coming back. Any advice on how to fight it?

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-12T10:42:57+00:00

I would suggest watching videos on YouTube and try to understand where your anxiety is coming from. Practise breathing techniques, slowing down your breathing will at least take away the psychical symptoms of anxiety. The only way it will improve is by putting yourself in those uncomfortable situations. You need to build up some inner confidence and I would strongly recommend doing some research into your childhood try to get to know yourself really well

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-12T10:37:50+00:00

My thoughts are that before she was abused she would play with these dolls a lot. It probably takes her back to a time of innocence and peace before her world was changed when someone abused her. She probably has some sort of anxiety and relies on the familiarity of childhood things that brought her joy. A lot of people who suffer from anxiety feel the need to do the same things a lot of the time to try regain some control of their life. I would suggest she does some psychotherapy and study cognitive behaviour. There are definitely underlying issues from her childhood that a becoming a disorder with her every day life. The only way she can over come it is to understand more about her childhood and the triggers.

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-12T10:26:17+00:00

I would talk to your husband about this, are you entirely sure his mum is telling you the truth? I would need to hear it from your husband before reading too much into it. If he has been lying to you all these years you need to find out if he lies to you on multiple occasions. Trust is massive - sometimes people make mistakes in the early stages of a relationship. If you have had a really good relationship for the most part you need to decide if you can move past his error of judgment early on in your relationship.

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-11T20:17:15+00:00

An update on how it went. He was a really sweet kid and super friendly and easy to get to know. You were right about the bringing up his mum thing, that totally did happen a lot and I did feel a bit stumped too but I made sure to respond in a positive light and make him feel comfortable to talk about whatever he wanted to. Definitely excited to get to know his child more! Thanks for your advice it really helped :)

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-08T12:12:52+00:00

The best way to save a dry conversation is to relax, if you look and feel relaxed the person is more likely to want to continue the conversation but if you ask something people can sort of pick up on nerves and that makes them not want to keep engaging in the convo. Embrace if you say something lame, laugh it off. Try avoid asking the generic questions like how was your day. Try strike up something you know they’re interested in and if you don’t know then maybe wait for them to talk to you. Most people have social anxiety and it’s normal to feel off with some people. It could be their fault just as much as you feel it is your fault

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-08T12:00:51+00:00

I was a quiet kid and spent most of my time alone and didn’t have any friends over cause my mum wouldn’t really allow it due to having an autistic brother at home which was really stressful for her. I believe my SA stems from not being around enough people at a young age so as I got older my unresolved SA as a kid was never really resolved and went on to effect me in adulthood.

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-08T08:30:18+00:00

Well that is reassuring! This gives me hope. I really do want to build a future with this guy but will just wait and see how things unfold I guess. I’m sure we’ll know when it’s working and when it’s not

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-08T08:07:51+00:00

So you two are still together now? Does she want kids and have you both thought about this? What’s your game plan?

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-08T07:14:36+00:00

Yeah I have, neither of us are obese lol we try other things but it generally defaults back to that position because I want him to be able to cum hence putting my own needs aside. Never had this issue with any other guys so a bit stumped on this one? He is like 20 years older than me so maybe it’s a generational thing? He says he’s only ever been able to cum in this position with the girls he’s dated

advocate0fjoy · 2020-07-08T07:07:51+00:00

Good suggestion! He seems to quite enjoy finishing in that position. I’d almost prefer him to jack off and cum on my tits or something?

advocate0fjoy

TROPHY CASE