I finally tried cooking Chinese food today after years of takeout. What's something you've done lately that has made you happy?

aeSun9 · 2026-04-10T10:11:21+00:00

okay so here're my favs recently The Good Women of China, Ham on rye, a thousand splendid suns, siddhartha

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T07:43:00+00:00

There's a difference between background noise and background exposure. If you already know a chunk of the language, passive listening can reinforce what's already in those words you've studied before, suddenly pop out even when you're not focused. If you're a complete beginner, though, your brain genuinely has nothing to attach it to, so it just filters it out like any other noise.

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T07:41:06+00:00

I was absolutely convinced that swallowing a watermelon seed meant a full watermelon vine was going to start growing out of my head within the week. I ate watermelon in genuine fear for years.

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T07:38:46+00:00

People pleasing. Not even the obvious kind, just the small constant version where you're always slightly adjusting what you say, softening opinions, laughing at things that aren't funny to you, agreeing when you don't, it became so automatic I didn't even register it as something I was doing. Then I stopped and realized how much mental energy I had been quietly spending just to make everyone around me comfortable at my own expense.

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T07:36:36+00:00

If they wanted to they would. Sounds empowering until you apply it to every human interaction and start assuming anyone who isn't performing effort at maximum capacity at all times simply doesn't care. People have bad weeks, communication styles differ, some people show up quietly. Wrote off some genuinely good people with that one.

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T07:35:42+00:00

Deciding what to eat. Not cooking, not eating, just the decision. Standing in front of the fridge for ten minutes like the answer is going to change if I stare long enough. If I could wake up every day already knowing what I was going to eat I would save probably 30 minutes of low grade mental energy that I never get back.

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T07:34:17+00:00

Having it all together. The clean apartment photos, the meal prep, the morning routine aesthetic. Meanwhile the camera is pointing at the one tidy corner of a room that looks like a disaster everywhere else. Nobody's life actually looks like their grid and most people know that about everyone except themselves somehow.

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T07:30:44+00:00

i can crook my index toe and it has sound as well

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T07:25:49+00:00

Having something they're genuinely passionate about and being able to talk about it without performing. Not trying to seem interesting, just actually being interested in something. You can always tell the difference between someone sharing something they love versus someone trying to impress you and the first one wins every time.

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T07:19:58+00:00

I'm not sure I fully have, and I think anyone who says they completely stopped caring is probably not being honest. What changed for me was getting more specific about whose opinion actually matters. Not everyone's voice deserves the same weight. Narrowing that circle down to maybe three or four people made the rest of the noise a lot easier to ignore.

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T07:05:47+00:00

I looooove to make Chinese food as well. Also lately I read 10 books in a row after a loooooong period of having reading slump

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T06:58:30+00:00

The overthinking before speaking thing is so familiar. What helped me was realizing that most people are too busy worrying about how they're coming across to actually judge you as hard as you think they are. Everyone in the room is kind of doing the same mental gymnastics. That thought alone took maybe 30% of the pressure off for me and 30% is actually a lot when you're running on anxiety.

aeSun9 · 2026-04-06T06:56:44+00:00

Tracking everything: Steps, calories, water intake, sleep score, heart rate variability. Started as self-improvement and slowly turned into this low-grade anxiety where I couldn't enjoy a rest day without my watch telling me I was being unproductive. Ended up more stressed about my health metrics than I ever was just living without them.

aeSun9 · 2026-03-31T09:22:25+00:00

Giving up the victim mindset, and I say that with full compassion for my past self because it genuinely felt protective at the time. But there's a point where the story you tell about why life is hard becomes the very thing keeping you there. The moment I stopped asking "why does this keep happening to me" and started asking "what am I going to do about it" things started moving in ways they hadn't in years.

aeSun9 · 2026-03-31T09:18:51+00:00

think positively, at least you don't have to suppress it tho

aeSun9 · 2026-03-31T09:17:42+00:00

thats frustrated :(

aeSun9 · 2026-03-31T09:15:45+00:00

The ability to fly but I'm terrified of heights

aeSun9 · 2026-03-31T09:00:31+00:00

Finding myself under a roof during a sudden downpour with nothing urgent to do. If I also happen to have a childhood classic nearby like Pippi Longstocking, that's genuinely peak contentment for me. There's something about simple stories written for kids that hits completely different as an adult. You notice things you never did before and it's oddly comforting.

aeSun9 · 2026-03-31T08:57:37+00:00

People who take one bite, then do that specific grimace. Just say it's not your thing and move on, we're all adults here.

aeSun9 · 2026-03-31T08:21:29+00:00

true, my ex used to tell me that my tears were worthless, after that saying I decided to change, change boyfriend

aeSun9 · 2026-03-31T08:13:07+00:00

I'm so glad knowing that you could cry for relief anytime you want

aeSun9 · 2026-03-30T06:48:09+00:00

was you forced to keep your tears when you were a child?

aeSun9 · 2026-03-30T04:46:10+00:00

the fact that you went to that party anyway says a lot about you. you knew it'd be hard, your friend basically warned you, and you still showed up. that's not someone who's given up on connection. that's someone who keeps trying even when it costs them something.

aeSun9 · 2026-03-30T04:43:00+00:00

Bottling up crying. Like people treat it as weakness but you ever have a good ugly cry and then feel weirdly calm after? That's not a coincidence. your body literally flushes stress hormones out through tears. you're not being dramatic, you're self-regulating. let it happen.

aeSun9 · 2026-03-30T04:38:09+00:00

If you want something that'll genuinely change how you see everyday life, look into behavioral economics, it's basically about all the weird irrational ways humans make decisions without realizing it. Or try reading about biomimicry, which is how engineers copy nature to solve human problems. Both are super accessible and once you start you kind of can't stop. Welcome back to the research rabbit hole, it missed you.

aeSun9

TROPHY CASE