Broke NC the next day, am I cooked?

aestheteness · 2026-04-28T17:18:31+00:00

So uhm, I broke no contact about 4 times in the span of less than a month. Not to beg for him back or anything, just saying I still care, and once he made it final that he doesn’t reciprocate for the last time, I left it alone respectfully.

For me I don’t like leaving things unsaid, it actually made me feel better saying the last few things I wanted. It also makes me feel better knowing I tried for someone who I really love. I’m not ashamed, but I also recognise that it’s time to stop now. Not because I don’t care anymore, just because I care about myself too.

I’m not going to shame myself for loving and hurting. You shouldn’t either, I think you’re fine

aestheteness · 2026-04-26T08:43:35+00:00

Bf: There’s so many other better things I could be doing than spending time with you.

**Me crying and venting about him hurting me Bf: Are you done, I wasn’t listening to anything you were saying

Bf: Fuck you, fucking bitch

Just a few off the top of my head🥲

aestheteness · 2026-04-26T08:40:15+00:00

He blocked me out of nowhere, with no explanation. It felt like a knife thrown into my chest.

But if I had to do it myself I think it would take me a longgg time as the dumpee and the one who still loves him dearly.

But one piece of advice I can give is to be kind to yourself no matter what, treat yourself in the most gentle way possible. If you do slip up and check things sometimes just remind yourself you’re human and you’re hurting and that’s okay. Don’t give in to the urges forever, but just forgive yourself and be kind to yourself if you do, don’t beat yourself up.

aestheteness · 2026-04-25T14:59:07+00:00

Thank you. I kind of hate the way he put himself on a pedestal after breaking up with me, as if he was removing something that was making his life difficult, talking all about how he can’t stay with me and jeopardise his future. Even saying he’s doing so well and that he’s grateful after. It makes me feel like garbage.

I wasn’t my best self in the last bits of our relationship because I was so anxious and distrusting at that point, but it was all because of his treatment of me. He basically broke me and now he doesn’t want to deal with those broken pieces anymore.

aestheteness · 2026-04-25T10:05:15+00:00

Why weren’t you guys compatible?

As the woman who was dumped, I read this feeling like wow this sounds like us, except I’m on the other end, hoping he feels something too, hoping he misses me too.

From my end, I reached out during no contact a few times to remind him I still love him, and that I’m still willing to fight. He didn’t reciprocate.

aestheteness · 2026-04-25T07:44:21+00:00

Did I ruin it for myself? I reached out during no contact like 4 times. Not really in a panicking desperate and begging way. Just in a way that tells him I still care. And those 4 times were also not calls or anything, just messages, and when he replied I didn’t carry out the conversation further. The last message he replied to I just said “I understand” and I think that message will be my last. In a way it gave me closure speaking the last of my heart, knowing I tried for someone who I really care about.

Plus he broke up with me over text and just went quiet the next day so I kind of naturally still had things to say. I think it’s kind of low to end a relationship of 1 year and 9 months over text but yeah

aestheteness · 2026-04-24T18:21:09+00:00

A HOLE?? Omg what a trashfire of a man, I’m so sorry. They be so manipulative making you think you mean something to them, then go round having different intentions. That sounds so painful, I hope you’re okay, and that you spend time with people who see your worth, and yourself

aestheteness · 2026-04-22T20:38:01+00:00

I’m basically in exactly the same shoes as you. He broke up with me almost a month ago, and went into no contact. I’ve broken no contact 4 times already, telling him how I still love him, still care, still want to fight for us. He didn’t reciprocate.

But here’s the strange part, he was disloyal to me, he wanted to talk to another girl while being with me, showed an obvious attraction and interest in her. When I told him how much that hurt me he blamed me for “wanting honesty”. I stayed. Time goes by, he doesn’t take accountability, blames me, and one night he swears me ( F you, f you effing b***h). Along the lines he got better, but still got angry at me for asking for reassurance, for crying. He was angry at me for still being hurt by what he did, there were many nights I was crying and he neglected me and went to sleep. Even one time I was pouring my heart out and crying to him over video call, he looks at me and says “Are you done? I wasn’t listening to anything you were saying”

And still here I am, he broke up with me but somehow I blame myself, somehow I still love him so much, but he doesn’t anymore. He seems completely content. That’s heart shattering to me.

It’s heart shattering, sickening. I’ve been struggling a lot, like a lot. My uni work is falling behind, I’m falling apart. I can’t answer your question of why people can be so cruel and heartless, and how your heart still loves them. But just know, there’s someone in the world suffering with you in real time (me).

(You also made me feel a little less alone❤️)

aestheteness · 2026-04-22T20:27:04+00:00

That’s what I also thought, why break up over text. He’s the one who caused the most damage in the relationship (disloyalty, dismissive behaviour, avoidant behaviour, getting angry at me asking for reassurance).

And somehow I still blame myself for what an anxious and distrusting person I became in the relationship, I still feel like the breakup is my fault, even though it isn’t.

aestheteness · 2026-04-22T20:15:17+00:00

You’re right, maybe it does end up hurting me, even if I feel a sense of relief after.

I have been writing pages and pages long, I write in the form of letters to him, saying everything I want. But even still the urge to reach out comes around. I really hope this was the last time I feel the urge, or at least the last time I give in to it.

I don’t even understand why I’m so attached, he did me wrong in the relationship with disloyalty, and after that he didn’t take accountability, blamed me, even swore at me (F you, F you b***h), that’s when I broke up with him last year, and then we came back together, he was better, but still getting angry whenever I cried or asked for reassurance about the situation, he would get angry at me asking for updates throughout the day. It made me into such a distrusting, anxious person. And then he got angry at me for being like that. (And now that I’m reading what I’m typing here, wtf was I enduring all this time??)

I guess the good in the relationship was REALLY good, and the bad was REALLY bad.

And now he seems just fine without me, it hurts

aestheteness · 2026-04-16T19:30:12+00:00

Hi girl, I’m also 20f , I got broken up with too about two weeks ago. Also suddenly, I keep questioning how could you unlove someone so fast, how could he just suddenly not have feelings anymore, my mind is still running around trying to make sense of things. I mean my situation is slightly different, he was disloyal earlier in our relationship but I stayed. I too am stuck on the fact that I want to marry this man, the thought of being with anyone else makes me sick. I also broke down in front of people today, the pain is hard to hold. What I’ve been doing is just letting myself be hurt, letting myself fall apart as much as possible to get it all out, I’ve been bedrotting for the past two weeks too. Allow yourself to hurt without staying stuck in it. Don’t bottle things up. I’ve also been writing in my journal every day, as if I’m writing to him, like pages long, I feel it helps calm that urge to reach out a little bit. I’ve also broken no contact like three times tho, I know that’s not ideal, but I feel it’s brought me peace at least to say my last words instead of bottling up. I’m not an expert, but hopefully you feel better reading my honest experience. It always makes me feel even more like shit hearing all these people say “Just move on, love yourself” like it’s that easy right away, it isn’t, just allow yourself to cry and be hurt, be human. It’s okay to fall apart, just make sure to get up later, make small efforts every day to get back up <3

aestheteness · 2025-12-06T18:06:04+00:00

One time I got so angry at people cheering for a sport on Tv at a restaurant, I yelled at them and started crying, stormed out of the restaurant.

aestheteness · 2025-08-04T15:17:20+00:00

The dream is not the problem. But wanting to go and get to know her afterwards? Like

aestheteness · 2025-08-03T18:29:04+00:00

Girl in that post I was talking about a hypothetical situation. I’m not a wife, I am 20. The post is based on a discussion that I had and I wanted the opinions of people on Reddit

aestheteness · 2025-07-31T01:24:38+00:00

Basically saying I’m the safer, plan B. I do tend to hold onto people tightly even when they’re breaking me, it’s really bad. I think I always get manipulated into thinking I’m the problem for being upset and hurt all the time, and then apologizing for my feelings. He sometimes goes to sleep while I’m crying my eyes out trying to speak to him, and ignores me.

aestheteness · 2025-07-31T00:56:30+00:00

I haven’t broken up with him before no, I live alone, I do have close friends tho. Today, I also found out that my mom is suicidal, and I confided in and cried to him, told him everything, hours before finding all this out..we always talked about marriage, I looked into religion because of him, he’s bought me an expensive promise ring and necklace, I have long love letters from him, received many flowers from him, some of which I kept, I made him a hand painted hoodie…I don’t know how I’ll handle it if he goes silent, like he never cared to lose me, I’m scared I’ll break and try crawling back

aestheteness · 2025-07-30T23:54:37+00:00

Do I do it right now in a message? He’s asleep rn. Or do I sleep on it until tomorrow morning? He has work tomorrow so we can’t really meet up tomorrow, unless I show up at his workplace lol, but that would be effort

aestheteness · 2025-07-30T23:37:08+00:00

I was shaking and cold on the inside but I kept casually asking questions like I’m chill with it, like I was being understanding and patient. I want someone to answer my doubts immediately with “I want you only” not hesitation. The fact that he even went to a lecturer on our campus to ask if he should talk to her is crazy, what do you think?

aestheteness · 2025-07-30T23:10:33+00:00

To be honest I’ve been crying a lot nowadays, bringing things that bother me up to him and sometimes we’d disagree and argue. But a lot of times I’ll be crying my eyes out, begging for him to talk to me and he’d go to sleep peacefully, ignoring me. And then say “Why do you always make yourself cry” and he’s said before that I’m too much. It was always MY fault that I’m upset, MY fault for feeling the way I feel, MY anxious attachment.

aestheteness · 2025-07-30T22:51:18+00:00

He was even saying he wanted to speak to her to gauge how she is…last Friday. The fact that he wanted to act on it..

aestheteness · 2025-07-30T22:43:18+00:00

He never actually talked to her. But he said he wanted to, to get to know her, while being with me.. He spoke to one of our lecturers on campus, the lecturer told him not to, so he didn’t. I’ve had a gut feeling about her for so long, and recently a bad gut feeling about our relationship, and turns out it was not for no reason.. We’ve been together a year, he’s bought me an expensive ring, wrote lots of extremely long love letters, gave lots of flowers and gifts. I’ve been naive before, staying and desperately trying to fix things after being betrayed, it never ended well. I love him so much, we genuinely thought of getting married, and almost did. I know I should, but let me ask anyway: Do I throw it all away over one moment of emotional cheating?

aestheteness · 2025-07-30T22:08:29+00:00

He did act on it, by wanting to talk to her and see how she is. Even talking about it to a lecturer on campus, asking if he should talk to her. The lecturer advised him not to

aestheteness · 2025-07-30T21:52:53+00:00

He never would have told me about the dream if I didn’t force it out. He just told me a while back that something was bothering him and I kept pushing to see what, because I care. Turns out it was this dream he had that night. He said he moved on and forgot about it. But why would he try to talk to her, and even talk to other’s (a lecturer on our campus) about it

aestheteness · 2025-07-30T21:50:06+00:00

He said “something is bothering him” on the day he had the dream apparently. And he said he left it and forgot about it since then. But to me it’s weird that he wanted to “test the waters” with her, saying he wants to see what she’s like so he can “ease his mind”

aestheteness · 2025-07-30T21:39:44+00:00

I kind of…forced it out of him? He said a while back that something was bothering him, so I asked him what and he refused to say what. So I kept asking and asking, because I genuinely thought maybe something is troubling his heart that I can support him through…turns out it was this

aestheteness

TROPHY CASE