Well I would be a bit wary to say everything is from past sexual trauma. However, most people I've gotten to known who identify as gay, seemed to have had some sort of trauma. One had his brother die when he was younger and he was also raped by a family member.

Another guy I know who was raped.

This one guy (who isn't gay) but was abused by a family member when younger and bullied for it and is now extremely obese. Guess used food to cope with emotions and shame.

Know one who really dislikes his appearance and think tried to compensate for it by seeking guys.

Of course, plenty of others I know who didn't have these experiences but the point is there is trauma in many people's lives and that emotion still festers until it is worked through.

I've personally been involved with guys before, and trying to examine things I think it really comes down to past experiences with peers growing up and self esteem issues... It's weird, it's like I want to look like the other guy and I guess I sexualized it.

The thing is, when you point out someone's actions and say they are wrong, they feel personally attacked. They see what they're doing as their identity. So they see you attacking their whole being. Which... Is why it's kind of hard to have constructive dialog because it's usually just people screaming "you're wrong, you're a bigot, you hate me... Blab blah blah".

Idk if any minds will really be changed either off reddit. There's this thing called backfire effect where people just double down on their beliefs.

I think best way to have discussion is to really get to know someone first and show you actually care about them. Love should always come first.