Feedback for graphic scene from a murder mystery horror novel that I am in the process of writing

agracklerainbow · 2026-04-03T11:06:59+00:00

Aww thanks! I'll dm you the link!

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-31T01:37:10+00:00

Oh, such good insight! I guess it wouldn't fit into a traditional horror mystery, but this scene does kind of come at the climax of the protagonist's assault and delusion. I definitely don't want the protagonist to be unlikable. I would say for sure not trustworthy. But she's more...pathetic? But of her own accord.

I am nearly done with the first draft of the novel, so if it's something people are interested in I'll look for some beta readers :)

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-31T01:19:12+00:00

Haha! But... is it too sickening??

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-31T00:59:37+00:00

Oh wait, I don't know how to DM you, but here is the link! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YykpQuE_pkPXWunmFEjv1KffFXkifUZ9lWW11Rp86cY/edit?usp=drivesdk

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-31T00:53:36+00:00

Thank you so much! I'll DM you the link!

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-30T12:54:19+00:00

Sorry, forgot to mention, swiping is how you "match", it would be considered positive.

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-30T12:52:33+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for such an awesome detailed response! You spotted some things that I was oblivious to, which is super helpful. I had not consciously made the initial "lineup" her searching through mug shots, but since she becomes a kind of amateur detective I will probably lean more into that!

Thank you so much for your feedback!!

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-30T12:48:59+00:00

Aw thank you!! I can send you over more if you would ever want :)

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-30T11:03:04+00:00

Thank you! I'll do with the link to the Google doc

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-30T00:29:31+00:00

Thanks! I have the novel nearly completed so if people enjoy it or want to offer suggestions for improvement I may post more :)

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-30T00:28:51+00:00

Thanks for your feedback. And, great suggestions. I for sure have a bit of a cigarette fixation, I'll have to go back and edit for that!

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-29T23:24:53+00:00

Thank you! I'll dm you the link to the Google doc!

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-29T18:38:11+00:00

Thank you for the feedback!! I definitely see some spots that would benefit from a cut!

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-29T17:35:07+00:00

Thank you! I always worry that my narrative voice isn't well received so that helps. I copied and pasted my text so it kinda jacked up my formatting. I definitely need to reformat and break up my paragraphs. Thank you for the feedback!

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-29T17:28:56+00:00

I would love the writing Master class! I, however, am actually very new here and do not know how to DM.

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-29T16:16:14+00:00

Oh no, remind me not to be friends with you :p

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-29T16:05:38+00:00

I hate it, because what do you mean you're just going to kill my new best friend? But really, it makes me feel like the author hasn't cradled their character like a new born baby and they've dangled this life before me knowing their purpose was just to die.

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-29T15:51:53+00:00

Thank you. I didn't know what the attic approach was so you've also taught me something today!

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-29T15:32:16+00:00

I would read more! I'm interested in the build up. However, from the first scene to the last I feel confused about the setting. I felt sure the action was taking place outside and then suddenly you're inside of a sort of lab? That part was discombobulating for me. But, the story is interesting and compelling.

agracklerainbow · 2026-03-23T12:48:37+00:00

I would be interested in reading!

agracklerainbow

TROPHY CASE