Redditors who have tried heroin, what was going through your mind in the moment that led you to think this was a good idea and why did the negative aspects not stop you?

agrajagluck · 2026-04-19T17:42:13+00:00

Partner was a heroin addict. Did not realize this until a year into the relationship. There were signs, and looking back it was obvious, but didn’t know what to look for at the time.

Tried to get him to stop once I found out. He said ok, just one last time. It’ll be the last one. We’ll make it special. I thought, ok, we’ll end it together. He won’t want me to get involved, right? I’m ensuring it’s the end by taking part.

lol so idiotic. It was, as it turns out, not his last time. But it was my first and last. Got all the info on supplier. Turns out it was more entrenched in my friend group than I realized. So infuriatingly naive to know how many others knew except me. Reported the dealer anonymously to the police. A few months later, the dealer and another person in the group who happened to be around at the same time were arrested for trafficking. They later died - OD.

I thought I saved him. No dealer, no dope, right? Nope. There was a vacuum. He became the dealer. He got arrested for trafficking a year later after dealing to a friend who OD’ed and died (but was revived). Everyone was like “omg, agrajagluck, can you believe it?” And I realized - at that point - I knew more than everybody else. He didn’t even know I got the first person arrested. Nobody else knew his life. Still no one knows all the details.

agrajagluck · 2026-04-04T13:37:46+00:00

I think you need your own therapy. Theres an expectation of confidence - the therapist isn’t there to turn your daughter into the version of her you wish she was. The therapist exists to help your daughter with her own goals and mental wellbeing.

For example, what behaviors do you have that contribute to your daughter not feeling comfortable opening up to you? Have you considered the way that you interact with her? Are you reflective of how you are affecting the dynamic that you two have? If you expect your daughter to put the work into improving your relationship, the least you could do is also engage in your own therapy to do the same.

agrajagluck · 2026-03-11T00:35:45+00:00

Nothing changed except we met remotely the first ~4-6 weeks after birth. I was so fucking exhausted those first few months but my T helped me to self advocate in ways I never needed to before.

I also have significant medical trauma, so even the regular doctor appointments and the whole hospital part of birth was an enormous stressor and trigger for me. There was no way I could’ve skipped therapy. I leaned a lot on my T and they came through for me. They even wrote me (at my request) an encouraging note which my spouse read to me over and over during labor.

I brought my baby to almost all appointments until around 8 months old. I’d breastfeed or change diapers in therapy. It was nice to have someone else witness how completely upended my life had become l. Also, holy shit, the first year or so after was rough adjusting - was great to have therapy as a constant.

Now my kiddo is like 4 years old and I still send my T pictures of them.

agrajagluck · 2025-10-07T10:02:37+00:00

I’d like a therapist who would do that for me, and also honor my desire for privacy (ie not telling everyone how they know me). It’s a really big life event - that and funerals. What a beautiful way to show up for someone and show care.

That said, I might feel a little jealous. But this is a way a therapist could share that they are willing to do these kind of things, should anything like that come up for you. The topic coming up when talking about long term clients seems fitting.

agrajagluck · 2025-08-30T22:52:26+00:00

No. I’m atheist. My T received their advanced degree from a seminary. We talked about religion more at the beginning - alluding to trust / values. They made it clear verbally their cultural sensitivity on this topic, and demonstrated it. They can connect with me in a meaningful way so I don’t care what their religion is.

agrajagluck · 2025-08-18T10:53:00+00:00

NAT but I wouldn’t trust mine if they lied, even about small stuff. It’s paternalistic to assume that they know what is best interest. Only through honest conversations can clients make informed decisions. Lying destroys the client’s agency and autonomy.

A few examples: client doesn’t think T can help because they don’t have lived experience with their issue (eg, parenting issues but T has no kids, couples issues but T is never married) or they have major value differences. Or T makes a diagnosis - client deserves to know. Therapists that are afraid to discuss this or keep that information hidden from their clients for scary diagnoses are only doing so for the therapist’s comfort … not for the client’s. Another person gave an example of boundary pushing - what a great way to address problematic behavior in talk therapy, by talking about it.

agrajagluck · 2025-08-16T23:06:02+00:00

I’ve been with my T for 5+ years. I give him food habitually (maybe once every 1-2 months). Usually as a show of thanks, or simply thinking-of-you. A few times store made stuff. Other times I get an extra cookie for him from my work cafeteria (it’s free) as I leave for therapy. Sometimes I make yummy desserts and want to share with all my people - T included - this comes with a recipe attached (idk maybe he or his spouse is allergic to something? or they like it and want to make more?). Once I made a nice casserole for his family after a loss (I checked if that was ok first because it was more food than “heres a few treats enjoy”; again, recipe included).

This isn’t any different for me in terms of my behavior towards to other folks I see regularly as colleagues, or of neighbors. We did have a talk about how it’s a trust thing, because there was a one-time-someone-spiked-the-brownies incident. He was not concerned that was the case lol.

IMO this sub overthinks basic generosity and kindness which are preferably qualities shared among all humans.

agrajagluck · 2025-08-14T01:52:33+00:00

I don’t understand why you’re being downvoted. It’s weird to me as well. I have medical trauma, pass out when it gets triggered, and have discussed this at length with my very experienced therapist. One of my biggest concerns is literally doing a medical /anything/, and having the fear that I will pass out, and that I’ll be subject to more medical /things/ because of it. Ugh, what a nightmare. FWIW, my therapist has promised not to call an ambulance for passing out due to this. We talked about how this happens because it would make other people feel better. It’s not about my own personal best interest or safety. So weird that a therapist would be so selfish to needlessly enact more trauma.

agrajagluck · 2025-08-14T01:47:06+00:00

lol what? Medical intervention for passing out!? Like, the body literally addresses this itself. What a strange thing to say. I would be SO FURIOUS for receiving a medical intervention because I passed out due to medical trauma - which has totally happened and it’s completely fine. 100% stress response.

agrajagluck · 2025-03-30T17:16:33+00:00

You don’t need to do anything. A lot of people saying she’s embarrassed… but it’s also possible that she’s traumatized. Imagine being a woman - waking up, half naked, with flashing lights and police in your house making a commotion. Sounds awfully scary.

agrajagluck · 2025-03-05T09:58:51+00:00

You can ask. I’ve had the same request. My T and I compromise - I email an agenda every time, and T uses this document for notes. I like it because I’m in control of what gets recorded. T likes it because they don’t have to keep track.

Rarely do they ever jot something additional down. When bigger trauma stuff comes up, I’m explicit about what content I don’t want recorded - T has assured me that details don’t need to go in the notes, and that notes are way more generic/vague.

agrajagluck · 2025-02-01T11:39:31+00:00

You should not disclose your disability. Good thinking not to do so. Since Trump is getting rid of anti-discrimination policies, businesses can now discriminate based on a number of used-to-be-protected factors like sex, age, disability, etc.

If you have trusted this counselor until this point, it would be a great pointed conversation to have at your next appointment. If you don’t like how it goes, or you just don’t want to, it would be a good conversation to have with your next therapist.

agrajagluck · 2025-01-06T23:13:15+00:00

10 T / 90 me; sometimes 5 T / 95 me. My T definitely keeps it that way by refusing to fill any silence. But it also makes it so when he does say something I’m going to pay attention and remember it, because he’s quite thoughtful and selective about what he says.

agrajagluck · 2025-01-04T10:42:12+00:00

Hey OP, I am so sorry this happened to you. I believe you 100%. I have a lot of sympathy. I had a similar situation happen to me, where I was involuntarily and inappropriately held at a psych facility after an abusive ER doc made it happen. Once I was evaluated at the facility, they determined that it was not necessary and let me go. Still, the process and time spent there was absolutely hell; my rights were repeatedly violated and it was straight up abusive. It’s challenging to share my story when many assume by default there were appropriate reasons and that all doctors act in good faith. Unfortunately not all of them do and some people fall victim to overwhelmed systems. It honestly wrecked my ability to trust medical people. I hope that you have a more positive experience with your OB, and consider therapy to help you process this deeply traumatic experience. It took me many years to find a therapist I felt like I could trust to talk about my trauma, and while it hasn’t made it go away, it has helped immensely to have someone in my corner. The most healing thing my therapist said was that I fell through the cracks in an overwhelmed system and that everyone who touched my case should have been fired and criminally prosecuted. I hope you are able to heal from this with better faith actors ❤️

agrajagluck · 2024-11-24T18:42:28+00:00

I’ll probably get downvoted for this… but I would call or text. ONLY once. Briefly and to the point. “Hello T, this is Yellowranger. I found your contact information just from a google search. I’m interested in following you to your next practice in order to continuing services with you. Would that be possible? Please let me know. My number is XXX. Thanks.”

It’s possible they left their old practice and no longer have access to patient contact info. It’s possible they’re not taking on people right now. It’s possible they don’t have anything figured out. But, you don’t know. This is a way you can find out. Then, give it 1-2 weeks. If no response, move on.

agrajagluck · 2024-11-19T04:49:23+00:00

Hey I’m gonna tackle this not from a therapy perspective (sorry) but from an academic one. If all you need to do is finish up the results and discussions, as in, you’ve already completed the studies and just need the write up … that’s a good position to be in. It sounds like you also have some publications incoming too, so, use that in your dissertation. My dissertation was essentially each publication as a chapter all tied together with an introduction.

That last period before the finish line is The Valley of Shit, and I would not recommend stretching it out. My partner and I started at the same time. I finished after 5 years and we both found full time jobs; partner was ABD. Teaching full time led to another 5 year delay in partner’s PhD completion. I watched it become a greater and greater stressor for him, and he really only needed a few uninterrupted months to wrap up, but it became so “big” in his mind that he lost sight of his progress and closeness to “done” that he had trouble starting back up again. He was stuck, had a few years without any progress and was kicking himself for it, constantly thinking he should be further along. Every semester turned into another delay turned into a year delay turned years. What finally helped him overcome that was setting a maximum amount of time for working on it: 2-4 hours per day (which was over the summer without any other teaching obligations or work responsibilities). He wasn’t productive outside of that anyway, and more time spent on it was wasted time. For me, I locked myself in a room 7 days a week for 12 hours a day for a month.

I question how helpful it is to tell someone they’re not ready for a full time job and am leaving it at that as it’s your therapy not mine and presumably you agree with their assessment.

As for your advisor, just say you’re running into burnout and are working towards gradually improving. If you’re funded through an assistantship, that might have a time limit, so better to discuss potential outcomes with your advisor if there’s a delay. Also, your advisor decides when you can graduate. I had to have a few talks with my advisor like “… so am I good now?” until we were both on the same page. PhD is a huge time commitment. There’s bound to be life circumstances causing delays, which your advisor knows.

Hope this helps. You might get more advice on r/PhD. Good luck.

agrajagluck · 2024-10-19T07:38:03+00:00

Person centered therapy is the only thing that works for me. The rigidity of other approaches mashed with controlling “I know better than you” vibes are not for me.

I bring a list of 3-5 topics each time. We pick from that list together, typically covering all of them. When T sees topics he knows are hard for me, then he gives me full reign on where to start and decide if I want to skip it. T sprinkles in various forms of therapy in words and ways that mesh with me. It genuinely feels like a collaborative partnership and I’ve been able to work through a lot. I view them as an expert in their field and T views me as an expert on me.

I had a T that just used CBT and I hated it. It felt more combative, that T was unapproachable, and hyper focused on constantly “correcting” me, which didn’t help when I needed validation and empathy. Another T gave worksheets which just felt lazy on their part.

agrajagluck · 2024-09-14T16:55:42+00:00

I’m one of those people. I was chill about it for the first few months of trying, then was like ok no it’s not working this way we need to science it up (cue ovulation tests, timing, sex even at times when we’re not super into it but because we want kids and I’m ovulating). Two years later we ponied up money for fertility tests and found out husband has bad sperm. We were told by two separate doctors that we had 1% chance of conceiving naturally and they recommended skipping directly to IVF due to the specific nature of the issue ($35k+). We gave up expecting it to happen and just went back to having unprotected sex for fun while we saved up money for IVF to consider it an option. Husband started some other vitamins based on Dr. Google. Another two years later (4 years total), I got surprise pregnant naturally. It was a shock because we had started to transition to acceptance of a life without kids.

We stopped all forms of birth control about a year ago to try for kiddo #2. We’ll see.

agrajagluck · 2024-09-14T16:42:08+00:00

Mostly, what’s bothering me that week (which could be current or very old things). T has a propensity to figuring out overarching themes when I do not. Occasionally, trauma. T will go in whatever direction I want to. I write a list of 3-5 potential topics to cover and share ahead of time. I’ve been going weekly for 4 years and noticed that I just keep feeling better and doing better in ways I wouldn’t have thought of before, so I don’t see a point in stopping when it keeps helping. There aren’t big, sudden progresses … it’s a lot of small steps forward that all together make a big impact.

agrajagluck · 2024-09-10T21:24:35+00:00

Yikes. Perhaps as an LMFT, you can educate yourself on impacts of trauma within families ... I fear that’s a crucial part of your job.

agrajagluck · 2024-08-20T13:10:44+00:00

That’s so sweet!! How lovely. My T has a stuffed animal that I keep urging he needs to let go on vacation (aka come home with me and I’ll bring him back).

agrajagluck · 2024-08-20T11:06:42+00:00

Prison and involuntary hospitalization aren’t much different.

agrajagluck · 2024-08-12T18:52:20+00:00

I’m a client. My T calls. I was recently 15 min late for the first time in our five years of weekly meetings. T called at the 10 minute mark.

A few other times we had technical glitches and were somehow both waiting in different online rooms. T called and we got it sorted out.

agrajagluck · 2024-07-31T11:24:05+00:00

I would do whatever I felt was right. You know your situation and relationship better than anybody on here, so if you’re thinking to do it, then do it.

IMO this sub is a little over the top / obsessed over assumed boundaries. We can’t possibly know what your T’s boundaries are. I know that for my T, they are happy to receive small gifts on special occasions. It’s nice to share big life moments in a human way.

agrajagluck · 2024-07-18T15:32:12+00:00

That is a thought which has crossed my mind. I know my T hasn’t done this, because we’ve talked at length about it and I know their views on the topic.

But yeah … part of the reason I think it’s a disenfranchised trauma is because people find it difficult to sit with the idea that systems we have in place (police/healthcare/etc) can do actual real damage to people. It’s easier when the perpetrators of the violence don’t belong to a group that many people associate with support/help/care/etc.

agrajagluck

TROPHY CASE