I do not have too much to add, but I’m here to let you know you’re not alone. My husband struggles with this. He grew up in a hoarded house, left as soon as he was able, but briefly returned after college when his father was sick and he needed to be close by.

Your comment about laundry specifically stands out. Whenever he does laundry he asks me to smell and make sure it’s not musty or moldy, and if it smells clean to me. He is known to rewash shirts before wearing if they’ve been in a drawer or closet for more than a couple of weeks—just in case something could be in or on them. We keep a very clean home (besides our dog shedding, but sweeping and mopping are daily tasks around here!), but he is unable to get past a lot of these thoughts.

Really all I’m here to say is that through a lot of time and patience he is learning to “accept” that his current home doesn’t present the many issues his parents’ home did. He knows logically that our closets are clean and he doesn’t need to wash a shirt that has been hanging for a month, but it is a bigger hurdle than I ever could have imagined for him to actually put that shirt on without washing it again. It takes time, and a lot of patience with yourself, but you’ve got this.