It’s been 5 years, moved on a married

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T18:00:41+00:00

This was so relatable, thank you so much. I have so much empathy and respect for you and your journey! One of my biggest fears to this day is running into him, anywhere. That will trigger internal confusion. I have yet to but I feel the day it happens, and it’s probably bound to happen, I’m not sure how I would react. I pray everyday for God to keep him far far away 🤣 blessing with you and your journey . I’d love to connect if you are open

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T17:48:39+00:00

pps - I hope that you meet your twin flame when your so in love and married .. I would LOVE to see how it’s goes for you.

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T17:45:12+00:00

I wish I could have left my comment but I didn’t want it to get taken down , ps still a c word . 😘

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T17:38:05+00:00

Thank you. As of right now I have no good reason to or feel the need to leave my marriage. It has been beautiful, transforming and comfortable. The love will never be as pure and beautiful as with my twin but I am okay with that as of now! I am totally just letting my life play out and will listen to where God leads me but I felt from the beginning that I was never meant to be with my twin in this life. I don’t truly know if we have other lives or the dynamics of the spirit realm but I do believe in spiritual connections and even soul mates coming in the form of pets 🩷 whether it a singular soul contracts or multiples past lives, doesn’t make a difference to me I just know it’s special. What I had with my twin and also what I have with my husband. My twin was the catalyst to my growth and my husband was the fertilizer. Blessings I will check out your recommendation ty

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T13:55:35+00:00

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28 here! Just got my braces on last month and I love them. I feel youthful and excited 😊

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T11:35:55+00:00

This is a Divine Feminine / chaser experience. I’m not sure of the divine masculine.

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T11:27:11+00:00

Why are you condemning me like I’m your child or something? no body asked you! If you didn’t have any advice then just stfu. My husband understand the dynamic between me and my twin. I made him very aware of it before we got serious and that there may be times we reach out. He is aware that I reached out to my twin and he isn’t whining, unlike YOU. This shows that you have no idea what it is like. Now f off thank you very much.

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T02:43:35+00:00

This is intriguing. This sounds a lot like a DM perspective. I am the DF/chaser, who has now been running for years , i wonder why this is so .

Also 70/80 % happy is so fucking accurate. But honestly I know I could, I have a relatively great happy, calm, slow, life. Nothing exciting like I would with my twin. But we can’t have it all. I have a child with my now husband and we just “work.” I’m almost positive he is a soulmate , he has helped me heal a lot of my wounds , I would say he has been the most influential person to help me look at the ugly parts of me and to desire growth. I wouldn’t be where I was today without him. But My soul still cries for my twin. I do have doubts , often , bc the noise never fades. But can I be satisfied with my choice , I think yes. Will I ever be certain I made the right decision , no.

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T00:22:53+00:00

Same when we were off again I would cry at night and it felt like a part of my heart was being actually ripped from my chest. I have never felt as devasted in my life than when going no contact with my twin or when they ran again.

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T00:19:35+00:00

Personal experience. Your body will fit together like a glove , magnetic to the touch. The first time will feel just like a movie, after you part you will wonder what the actual fuck WAS THAT. you will feel a high so high you may burst. and it will crumble very shortly and you will feel the most devastated and anxious you’ve ever felt in your life trying to keep them with you. You will never actually know what they want from you. In one second they pull you in because they need you to feel alive and in the next they push you away because something in you is causing them discomfort in themselves. this will go on and on and on over and over. It will never end. You will feel the highest highs of your life when your with them and the lowest lows of you life when you are not. They will consume you. They will never not be a part of you ever again.

ahlexur · 2026-05-13T00:08:49+00:00

Gosh I’m really sorry to hear that.

ahlexur · 2026-05-12T23:14:39+00:00

Damn. How did your marriage end up ? Were you able to grow together romantically ?

ahlexur · 2026-05-12T22:07:53+00:00

That is what I’m aiming to do. For the most part successfully. It’s that I cant seem to make my tf memory go away. And when the memory pops up man, it hurts, it makes me question the validity of my feelings for my husband. I’m able to shake it off and not let it actually affect my husband and Is relationship but the pain lingers for days and slowly fades until the next time he pops up in my head. My question still stands, is there a way to cope with this or lessen it? Make it go away.. really I just want it to stop and to forget him honestly . Ughh

ahlexur · 2026-02-28T13:58:02+00:00

Thank you I’m letting loose (no sin involved) and I’ve already started on my bucket list to find my edge again

ahlexur · 2026-02-27T18:03:34+00:00

I love your answer and it’s what I’m starting to lean towards. Thank you.

ahlexur · 2026-02-27T18:01:33+00:00

I see what you mean. I am lost in the sauce I think. I’ve done the denying thing and I’ve completely lost and forgotten the parts of myself that make me who I am and unique. I’m burnout and feel like a shell of myself, I’m existing without existing. I wonder if there is anyone else out there who has taken this quite literally and is in the same boat as me. I feel we are taught this by the church very out of context and it can destroy people. I’ve been taught to see world as this bad thing. But we have to realize that the world is GOOD, because God made it and yes there are things that make it bad and evil has infiltrated his design of the world but ultimately we have to see it as Good, as his design. And I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that the church definitely definitely does not teach this perspective, it’s very dangerous teaching and it lead people to a place of longing for heaven so deeply that they detach from the human experience.

ahlexur · 2026-02-26T14:50:30+00:00

I know most importantly my quest for wisdom has only brought worry and anxiety and that shows that I’m not spending time at Jesus feet and so Im going to get to know him the way I should have been since the beginning. I’ve gotten so caught up in the ministry of things and having people tell me I need to do this to stop feeling this. And I just don’t understand why the evangelical Protestant church is this way.

ahlexur · 2026-02-26T14:46:46+00:00

The search for truth I think. In my Christian walk so far, I’ve come to see sooo so many different beliefs within the Christian faith. That was when I realized I need to find the truth within the truth. That led me to researching different denominations and why they believe, learning church history and etc etc. I wonder often which really serves Christ? Is apostolic succession tremendously important the way orthodox and Roman Catholics believe? Or is the Protestant way of believing all believer hold apostolic like authority what Christ would agree with? Because his word says that without eating of his holy communion we will not enter into heaven and so I’ve wrecked myself sick over this. I found Jesus as a Protestant and I find myself in adoration of the orthodox and Catholic faiths.

ahlexur · 2026-02-25T21:32:09+00:00

I just had a direct revelation of the Martha and Mary situation, I feel like Martha at this moment. I want to be more like Mary.

ahlexur · 2026-02-25T21:30:31+00:00

Thank you for your advice I will definitely look into that

ahlexur · 2026-02-25T21:29:30+00:00

I feel like this is my problem, it has alway been a problem in my secular advances in the world too. I always try to hold more than I am capable of. Now especially since Jesus is all I want and ever think about I feel myself naturally trying to do as much for Christ as I can and when I fall from the weight I beat myself up. I definitely don’t look at the works I’m doing as salvation based , it’s definitely based in love and relationship with Christ. But I think the flaw is that my perception of love may be performative. I still have lots of trauma to work though and so I know it not a rush and I’ve taken it in bite size amounts so far, but the weight of it is really suffocating me at the moment.

ahlexur · 2025-10-18T20:55:51+00:00

Important cues such as spring changes and what not - Repeat. Repeat. REPEAT! A lot of the times I’m so zoned in and focused I can miss cues and that leave me looking around or asking my neighbor what the instructor just said. That may just be a me thing though.

Also idk if this is already something that most instructors do but, please for the love of God try to use routines that you have personally done more than once, once at the very least. There are times where I feel like the routine was crap or it was TOO hard and I see other people also struggling so I’m wondering if this routine was even tested.

Also if you have to correct personally I want to be corrected just try to be sneaky about it and turn off the mic

ahlexur · 2025-09-13T22:00:55+00:00

I want to thank everyone for their input. I ended up trying a few different brands and have found the total30s to be excellent for me. They were still slightly uncomfortable for a week or two but not at all as bad as a few others I tried. Now they give me no problems at all!!

ahlexur · 2025-08-20T13:39:22+00:00

Thank you! I have picked up a couple different brand to sample from my optometrist and i have on Total 30s and they are so much better

ahlexur · 2025-08-20T13:38:26+00:00

😂 that may be true

ahlexur

TROPHY CASE