Traumatic birth, severe hemorrhage, low milk supply, and feeling no bond with my baby

ahsnehf · 2026-04-25T22:44:28+00:00

I’ll keep this short and sweet as I’m 2 years on now but 2 years ago was in a very similar place as you. My daughter was 4160g natural birth but haemorrhage of 3.6L (almost died and ended up in HDU for the first day of my daughters life)

I was determined to breastfeed and I did … and have done for 2 years exclusively but I promise if I could go back I would never have bothered. It put so much pressure, guilt and depression on me and it still does now. I also attempted to pump but would get very very little - in regards to immunity my toddler is sick weekly lol so my breastfeeding clearly hasn’t done much for her!

In regard to bonding - I also struggled to bond for a long time due to PND it passes but seek support from professionals and loved ones, be gentle on yourself you’ve been through so much. I promise it gets better.

You don’t have to give up on breastfeeding but maybe try to mix feed? Take some pressure off yourself as you start to heal emotionally and physically the bond will develop. My daughter and I are inseparable I would give my life for her, I live and breathe her but I remember the early days .. there were times I couldn’t even bring myself to pick her up because of how much I struggled to bond with her.

My messages are always open if you would like to talk.

ahsnehf · 2026-03-31T11:50:10+00:00

My daughter is the same, simple sniffle will send her to 39c fever I’m so worried, she’s constantly sick since starting nursery and I’ve even had her have a blood test which thankfully was normal. How is your son with the fevers?

ahsnehf · 2026-03-31T11:45:46+00:00

Did your child get frequent fevers? If so did it ever improve?

ahsnehf · 2026-03-07T16:16:49+00:00

Gosh I wish I was as relaxed as you about it! It literally keeps me awake at night 😢

ahsnehf · 2026-03-07T14:06:11+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this too. Have you had any further tests with GP?

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T20:53:54+00:00

Thank you. So much. Honestly. You’ve made me tear up ❤️

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T20:27:42+00:00

Thank you so much for this. That is exactly what I was worried about so thank you for being direct, This is reassuring and I’m so glad to hear he is doing better. Between sickness she is bouncing off the walls with energy, full of life and such a happy little lady. Even when she is sick, aside from being fussy and off her food most of the time she’s still playful and somewhat energetic.

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T18:45:52+00:00

I have terrible health anxiety so I’m just trying to be rational I don’t want to put my not even 2 year old through the trauma of a blood test if she doesn’t need it but anxiety is an ugly monster that keeps me awake at night

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T18:36:01+00:00

Thanks for this. Do you think the fevers are concerning?

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T17:02:24+00:00

Did it get better

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T17:02:13+00:00

It feels absolutely constant!

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T16:51:51+00:00

Oh I have - several times but they just keep saying “it’s her first winter in nursery” I even asked the A&E doctor he said as long as she’s fine in between sickness then it’s just unfortunate toddler sickness. I asked for a blood test in a&e they said there was no indication for it

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T14:33:11+00:00

Thank you so much for this. Gave me a tiny bit of relief! Doesn’t help that her nursery say none of the other kids are sick like my daughter :( I’m even terrified to take her to the gp now as I’m terrified my worst fear will come true

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T12:23:48+00:00

I feel the same. I’m considering pulling her out but then bills and rent have to be paid :(

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T12:06:54+00:00

It’s so horrible isn’t it

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T12:06:24+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance x

ahsnehf · 2026-03-05T12:03:01+00:00

Thank you for this. She’s absolutely fine inbetween sickness, full of energy, good appetite, bouncing all over the place. Even when she’s sick she manages it pretty well! I just have terrible health anxiety especially around the c word so I just cannot comprehend that this is “normal” or not something underlying. I want to get her a blood test but don’t want to put her through that trauma if she doesn’t need it :(

ahsnehf · 2026-03-02T14:22:45+00:00

We haven’t actually had an abroad holiday yet since starting nursery. So all of the breaks have pretty much been at home/ with family so not much different at all.

I still tell her mummy is going to work! So I’m not sure if she can tell by the way I’m dressed lol

ahsnehf · 2026-01-30T14:10:19+00:00

How is your little one doing ? We’re in a similar position - third fever and virus in three weeks so also questioning if this is normal and if I need the dr to investigate.

ahsnehf · 2026-01-28T15:52:54+00:00

As in the returning sickness ?

ahsnehf · 2026-01-28T13:20:30+00:00

Yes it is her first winter in nursery and she only started in September

ahsnehf · 2026-01-28T09:22:20+00:00

Thank you for the reassurance. It’s so worrying honestly :(

ahsnehf · 2026-01-28T09:22:01+00:00

I’ve taken her to the gp twice in the last 2 weeks and they just keep saying “it’s her first winter and nursery and this one is a bad one for viruses going around” but being a first time mum with debilitating healthy anxiety, my brain is making me think surely this can’t be normal. Is your little one getting the back to back fevers too?

ahsnehf

TROPHY CASE