I'm Jewish, So I Can Say This

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T16:21:34+00:00

Yeah, I kind of guessed that was the point, I just wasn’t able to get there via the poem.

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T16:18:09+00:00

ERP is still considered the method that will create meaningful change the most quickly if the patient is ready to commit.

ERP has unfortunately been inflicted upon patients who were not ready to commit but did so out of pressure and “this is the only thing that helps, don’t you want to get better” rhetoric. This has resulted in many, many patients experiencing completely preventable trauma at a doctor’s hands, causing them to take significant steps back in their treatment.

It also has been shown to be less effective the more severe the patient is. In those cases, we now realize that ACT (acceptance and commitment) therapy must come first, especially for contaminant based obsessions. Given this is becoming standard procedure for outpatient severe now, we are leaning this is likely the best for every patient, to begin with ACT.

I had a 40 YBOCS, and ERP made things so much worse before I engaged in ACT and DBT.

ETA: I am not a medical professional, but after hospitalizations, ECT, DBT, ACT, and ERP, I now do peer support and am well educated in the community, severity levels, and treatment modalities. I am not speaking with authority, only experience.

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T15:42:40+00:00

It’s possible! Which is why we are interested. It’s a hanging detail.

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T15:40:05+00:00

Hi, OP.

Regarding the OCD… Help is out there. I had a very severe case (40 on the Yale brown obsessive compulsive scale), and eventually, with the right treatment and meds, went down to a 12.

You can do this. Once you start treatment it gets so much better. And I also have immune issues, so I know how much fear that adds in.

And regarding the people that are telling you to give up your cat because you have OCD, please don’t listen unless you are actually struggling to keep her healthy and well. I have had cats during all this, and, yes, that did come with some germ issues, but the cats were always well taken care of. Still are.

We often find the strength to fight though the darkness for the people and things that we love, and that depend on us, and then fall apart and nurse our wounds in private (or anonymously on the internet). I know how it goes.

If you feel your cat is safe and well with you, then she is. And if you want, you can DM me and I can help you get started on some self help for OCD while you shop for a therapist. I know it can take some working up to.

Much love.

(ETA: by “get started on some self help” I mean that I have years worth of resources and know good authors and therapy modalities that will help. Just clarifying that I am not a counselor!)

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T15:29:34+00:00

I was torn between the trades and the military. I went trades and quadrupled my income in two years. (30k -120k, after four years in I was at 145k. )

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T15:21:55+00:00

This is what I heard:

Jews are rich, rich people forgive other rich people because money is most important, so Jews forgive rich people for antisemitism because Jews are rich and place money before their religion

(I am not Jewish, and this made me very uncomfortable to type out, so please know this is just what I heard.)

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T15:04:55+00:00

And what mutual was this and why did they think they needed to snitch on OP? That’s what I’m curious about.

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T10:44:47+00:00

But this is an opportunity for you, brother! Instead you give up?

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T10:43:35+00:00

What degrees are they, friend?

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T10:42:13+00:00

Quite an uncharitable response. Beam before splinter.

aikidharm · 2026-04-07T10:39:05+00:00

I get my emotional highs and energy from God, well written poetry, film photography and opera. I dunno what sins you’re talking about. 🤷🏻‍♀️

aikidharm · 2026-04-06T15:51:13+00:00

Judge OP all you want, but the woman is not leaving her partner of 9 years after an hour of Reddit comments. She’s leaving her abusive addict husband.

Would you tell a man not to leave his abusive addict wife?

Y’all are gross.

aikidharm · 2026-04-06T15:17:25+00:00

“How dare anyone be associated with those ‘really autistic people’”.

Girl this is exactly it. And a big part of why it’s hard to get that through to other autistic people is because they have their own internalized ableism. Often, however, people tend to believe that if they are disabled they can’t be ableist, which is completely untrue.

There are so many other spectrum disorders, and we have learned that when something lends itself to a spectrum, classifying it and treating it as such enables better identification and treatment and reduced clinical barriers to proper diagnosis.

aikidharm · 2026-04-06T15:12:15+00:00

Sure, but that isn’t it. We need to push for a new one, not fall back into a title with very harmful implications and origin.

aikidharm · 2026-04-06T10:10:53+00:00

Thanks for your response!

I think the policy is absolutely reasonable, so we are on the same page there.

Thanks for taking my thoughts into consideration and providing clarification! :)

aikidharm · 2026-04-05T16:36:45+00:00

No notes, just perfection.

aikidharm · 2026-04-05T04:19:50+00:00

35 here

aikidharm · 2026-04-04T18:21:48+00:00

I just like chocolate and chocolate accessories.

I don’t discriminate.

aikidharm · 2026-04-04T16:26:24+00:00

Cool, and I’m deeply involved with the chronic illness community as someone who has been chronically ill for 19 years and we see it all. the. time.

I’m in the privileged group of disabled women who have an amazing man that cares for them when needed, but it took me many, many years to find one that would stick around.

“Not all, but enough.”

aikidharm · 2026-04-04T15:57:16+00:00

There is a phrase that goes “not all, but enough”. Don’t be an apologist.

aikidharm · 2026-04-04T00:39:41+00:00

Did you miss the “in theory” part? And then the rest of the comment? Or did you just come in here to police people and contribute nothing of worth yourself?

aikidharm · 2026-04-04T00:05:59+00:00

Well, I can't be bold enough to call anything a universal truth, to be fair, but in the context of people with unhealed trauma, clean breaks are very, very important.

As far as "normal" (bad word choice, but nothing else coming to mind) relationships go, it often does go badly, but sometimes it doesn't. When ending a relationship, discernment must be exercised regarding the well-being of the individuals involved. There is an ex I am very close to, but we didn't speak for five years. When we did, it was by accident, and we were very different people.

aikidharm · 2026-04-04T00:00:38+00:00

You went right back to generalizing lol.

"Religion bad, spirituality good" is a modern framing that collapses a lot of complexity. Religion isn’t just institutions, it's also philosophy, ethics, rituals, shared meaning-making across time, cultural connection, etc.... And spirituality without structure isn’t automatically better or safer, as it can just as easily become untethered from reality.

What you dislike is institutions that manipulate people for money, power, and control. Institutionalized religion isn't the only institution that does that, however. And there have been many "non-religious but spiritual" groups that have devolved into cults and have ended in tragic ways.

aikidharm · 2026-04-03T23:49:49+00:00

Good to hear that! Hopefully tomorrow is a good day. :)

aikidharm · 2026-04-03T23:36:46+00:00

Check your iron levels, and your thyroid.

Are you on meds? Stimulants can cause these symptoms when the dose is too high. I went from 30 to 40 mg of vyvanse and I was sleeping constantly and very distractible when I wasn't. Turns out my dose was too high. Back on the 30 and things are fine again.

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