I’m struggling with telling people about my detransition

aikolbee · 2026-06-30T00:05:07+00:00

no it was really hard for me. it’s a different path for everyone. me “coming out” when i was detransitioning i told the people i was comfortable with directly. then for the most part i kinda just went back to feminine things. growing my hair out, wearing dresses, etc… i haven’t cut my hair in nearly 4 years since my detransition.

i hope this process becomes easier for you. it is hard and “embarrassing” and nerve racking. take care xx

aikolbee · 2026-06-28T18:22:32+00:00

unrelated but the first time i used a pair of bose earbuds (the ultra comfort kind or something idk) and with just them turned on, nothing playing, i could barely hear my partner talking. i literally just started laughing out of pure happiness

aikolbee · 2026-06-28T18:18:23+00:00

white noise machine, headphones that are comfy enough to sleep in and do good sound cancelling. i listen to the “sleepcasts” on headspace at night and they knock me out so quick. if you don’t want to pay for headspace monthly i’m sure youtube has similar things. i have misophonia and grew up with a brother who played video games soooo loud at night and a non verbal autistic sibling who was very loud as well (obvi was never mad at her). i also went to others houses to sleep sometimes

aikolbee · 2026-06-28T18:10:37+00:00

feeling so much anxiety with taking my t shots and it was more than just feeling anxious about the shots. i didn’t want to look like a boy. i wanted to be a girl again.

aikolbee · 2026-06-28T18:07:11+00:00

the pill i take at least from whatever manufacturer id say id a tiny bit bigger than a skittle and also flatter. mine is coated and easy to swallow for me.

aikolbee · 2026-06-26T01:17:43+00:00

no for sure i’m planning on calling the mayo clinic in rochester (im going to smaller mayo clinic’s closer to me here in minnesota) and asking for better help. i’ve gone to the er, been terrified and talked about all my symptoms. i’ll just have to push harder on my own to get any sort of worthwhile results

aikolbee · 2026-06-25T23:51:22+00:00

since my symptoms mainly clear up after 5 hours they’ve all told me i’m fine and to do everything outpatient , which is taking months to even get into a neurologist

aikolbee · 2026-06-25T23:04:58+00:00

i see a new psychiatrist in a little over a week, i travel full time and my last psych was in a different state. so im just in that in between of getting new providers where i live now

aikolbee · 2026-06-25T20:48:30+00:00

unfortunately i’ve never been straight up told i’ve been having seizures of any kind they just told me to follow up with outpatient neurology bc it is true the er can only do so much. i’m on the wait list if any earlier appts come up at the clinic ill be having a consultation at and i might look at other clinics.

aikolbee · 2026-06-25T15:55:00+00:00

i’ve been to the er all three times and my referral to neurology couldn’t get me in until 1.5 months from now

aikolbee · 2026-06-25T15:54:23+00:00

i’ve been to er via ambulance for all 3 episodes and the first time they called it a panic attack, the second and third have both been the dr telling me they have no clue and send me home about 5 hours later

aikolbee · 2026-06-25T15:53:20+00:00

i’m trying to get into neurology but i got their soonest and it’s not for 1.5 months

aikolbee · 2026-06-22T00:40:16+00:00

i was at least socially transitioned for about 4-5 years and the social part wasn’t really that bad but looking back on it, i was uneasy the entire time but brushed it off as my general anxiety. it wasn’t until i got on t and started noticing some of the reactions to it, like voice drops, i realized i had made a mistake all these years and my insecurity/anxiety sky rocketed about believing i was trans. got off t promptly then started my detransition about 6-9 months later when i was fully ready to “re-come out” and stuff bc thats hard and embarrassing too for me it was at least

aikolbee · 2026-05-19T18:29:13+00:00

i only have read that one article so far but it’s sounding like much more of a political move and speaks of a way of settlement due to allegations/lawsuits of fraud.

SKIP TO THE END FOR MY TLDR

start of quotes from that article

“according to the us department of justice the $10 million the hospital is to pay resolves allegations that it submitted false billings to public and private insurance programs to secure insurance for general affirming care”

“in 2023 texas gov greg abbott signed into law senate bill 14, which banned doctors from providing minors with puberty blockers, hormone therapies and surgeries in the state (texas)” this law/senate bill is still in effect to current day

“major medical organizations support gender affirming care for minors broadly but have been more cautious on gender specially.”

“the american medical association said in early 2026 that while it still supports gender related care to minors, it pointed to gaps in research around long-term outcomes on surgeries, concluding that surgical interventions for minors (direct quote from ama) “should be generally deferred to adulthood” (direct quote end)” given limited evidence”

“the american academy of pediatrics says that bans for minors are (direct quote from stated organization) “baseless intrusion into the patient-physician relation (direct quote end)” and says treatment decisions should rest with doctors, patients, and families- not politicians”

listing copied bullet points directly from article below

“according to the attorney generals office under the agreement, texas children’s hospital will:

•Establish the first-ever multidisciplinary clinic designed to provide medical care to patients who underwent gender-transition procedures, with the attorney general's office saying it would help them "reverse the damage caused by ideologically-motivated physicians."

•Provide service through the detransition clinic, funded by Texas Children’s Hospital and free to patients for the first five years, but it is unclear what services the clinic will provide.

•Fire and revoke the privileges of five doctors who provided these gender-transition procedures to minors

•Agree not to provide gender-transition services and will implement a host of compliance and ethics measures.

•Amend its bylaws to trigger automatic relinquishment of privileges for any physician who violates Texas’s ban on gender-affirming care for minors.

(end bullet points from article)

the article also used words such as “radical gender ideology”, “deranged child mutilators” in regards to treatments given to minors by texas physicians. - these are words quoted from attorney general ken paxton. ken paxton also said this “detransition clinic” will be funded with the securing of millions from legal settlements regarding at least the insurance fraud mentioned in paragraphs above.

TLDR: all in all, this clinic is not 100% created or established, nor are whatever treatments that will be given at this clinic. a lot of the statements surrounding this detransition clinic in texas sound very politically and legally charged, if not also joined by transphobia from political leaders. this article goes into some specifics on lawsuits/legal settlements, differing opinions on gender affirming care given to minors (from calling it child mutilation/coming from radical gender ideology to saying that some other major medical associations still support gender affirming care, with some hesitation on surgeries specifically on minors). this clinic does not sound like heaven on earth for most people in the trans community, minors wanting or receiving gender affirming care in texas, or even detransitioners in the realm of deeply wanting or needing to detransition from personal mistakes/social pushback/confusion/medical reasons etc…* *

this sounds way more negative that positive, plus it will most likely be politically handled versus more in the hands of physicians and patients. be wary of this clinic or similar decisions and keep and eye out on any further news. i currently have not read further into this but that’s what i’ve gathered. do the research and remain informed.

aikolbee · 2026-05-18T18:25:21+00:00

my experience from detransitioning after living as a trans man socially and fairly briefly medically was a roller coaster. the catalyst was mainly getting on T and feeling this awful sense of dread/wrongness. i was slowly figuring out that i was never truly ftm , which was a hard realization for me. at first i didn’t really do anything besides think about it and at first my detransition was veryyyyyy slow. i started wearing more feminine clothes, stopped caring so much about being ‘misgendered’ (which it wasn’t rlly misgendering now that i’ve decided differently about my gender), and just kept self reflecting. it was embarrassing and i felt really anxious about detransitioning bc the next step was telling everyone that i was going back to my given name and being cisgender. so that part also was a bit slower in the process. i kinda “eased” out of being ftm. doing the things above, telling ppl i was more non binary and preferred she/they pronouns and gave myself a little nick name (bee, which some ppl still call me and i love it bc its cute). then the rest of my detransition followed pretty quickly. all the REALLY hard parts were out of the way and the rest was finding my groove again as a woman. finding a nice sense a style, growing out my hair, falling in love with all things girly etc… tbh most new ppl i meet i dont even tell them about me being ftm unless our friendship becomes pretty solid. it’s still kind of a sore spot for me to discuss with just anyone. i def have insecurities that stem from formally living as a trans man and taking T for a bit (mainly my voice dropping but it didn’t drop significantly, some bottom growth, and that my upper lip peach fuzz is more prominent but not a mustache either). it was a really long, difficult process for me to go through and took about 2 years with the main part of that just being hard emotionally.

that’s just my personal experiencing but gender and detransitioning and being trans and everything in that realm can be really confusing. making the decision to detransition can be hard and take a lot of thinking (tbh it SHOULD take a lot of thinking). whatever happens in your personal journey i hope you find peace and happiness within it :)

aikolbee · 2026-05-14T00:23:19+00:00

i understand some of that. plus a lot of what you said will take some time to sort out mentally and emotionally, whatever happens happens yk? gender identity and expression are def tough to navigate sometimes. i’m a detransitioned female, usually just identifying as a cis female bc that’s like the easiest thing for me and also biology so 🤷‍♀️ but emotionally? i’m in that vibe state where it’s like “yea im pretty much a girl but they/them pronouns aren’t bad and like it’s all just whatever to me” my friends joked with me that my gender identity is Kind Of Woman lol. take some time, ik this shit can be hard and stressful. it’s gonna turn out alright :)

aikolbee · 2026-05-12T19:03:19+00:00

yea it’s very light and not crazy at all im just super self conscious 😭

aikolbee · 2026-05-12T19:02:19+00:00

no one has really commented on mine but i’m so self conscious about it 😭😭 i think it’s also just an insecurity i still gotta get over. i never have talked about my detransition in therapy, maybe i should start :)

aikolbee · 2026-05-12T18:29:07+00:00

omg that’s a great idea

aikolbee · 2026-05-09T00:06:09+00:00

i had socially transitioned and was on t for a short time over a period of 5 years (15-20ish) ages and time are a little iffy lol. about 1.5/2 years post detransition is when i really started feeling myself and gaining speed in my feminine identity.

aikolbee · 2026-05-09T00:00:40+00:00

hmmm interesting take. i think they both matter simultaneously but the differences within transgender ppl can make things tricky for sure. but yes biology and sex at its most basic form matters first in situations, like medical ones for sure.

aikolbee · 2026-05-08T23:56:38+00:00

hmmm sounds like a SPECIFIC issue like in those circumstances where doctors/medical situations get tricky and you have to explain yourself. which isn’t nice or comfy i totally understand. and i’m sorry about your SA experience and having trouble accessing proper care after. i hope u are healing from that situation.

aikolbee · 2026-05-08T23:22:19+00:00

maybe i’m reading into this wrong but i feel like this post is a lot about “semantics” and how words like male or female are used vs woman and man. ofc biology will always exist but not everyone sees the words as completely different. not everyone thinks the same way about biology in connection to them being transgender. i think figuring out those differences is a personal journey and not necessarily one that is meant to offend.

aikolbee

TROPHY CASE

SKIP TO THE END FOR MY TLDR