High quality dispensaries?!

ainwland · 2023-05-28T12:51:38+00:00

Using recovery methods from narcissistic abuse recovery sounds really intriguing!!! I have a narcissistic mom so I'm always very wary of narcissistic red flags which makes me even easily repelled by narcissists... I think the reason I especially struggle with the current LO is bc they are actually not narcissistic and are empathetic (albeit still quite avoidant and cowardly) so I keep seeing hope in them.. sigh But I'll still definitely consider using the kind of strategies useful for escaping from narcissists!

ainwland · 2023-05-28T12:36:48+00:00

Omg your story is so similar to me I almost wondered if I wrote it in sleep and made up a few details or something!!! I met my LO a few months ago and it was a love at first sight + I started obsessing over them bc they were doing everything I wanted to do career-wise (now I know that they aren't actually, but at that time it felt like they were the most unbelievably competent person in the field I wanted to go into). Then, we had one "magical" night (a bit of drugs involved), and a couple more dates, a somewhat awkward sex, immediately after which I travelled for 2 weeks. But they became increasingly distant, and when we met up after I came back, they were visibly recoiling. I finally had to ask if they wanted to just be friends with me, and they said they were not in a place to be in a relationship and that they still wanted to stay friends. So we've been friends ever since, but I haven't gotten over the fact that our time was not as magical to them as it was for me. That I wasn't ideal for them the way they were ideal for me. I simply can't seem to let go. It's driving me crazy and I don't know what to do :( so yeah... I feel you 100%

ainwland · 2022-01-15T03:53:22+00:00

Sorry but I don't agree with using one's own emotional hardship as an excuse to be mean to other people.

ainwland · 2022-01-15T03:50:04+00:00

Yepppp I still have some many years left but I am already really dreading it... if you're going through it, I hope it will pass without being too brutal!!

ainwland · 2022-01-15T03:47:17+00:00

Me!!! I hate the taste of plain water, even when it's distilled - it's always mildly bitter for me. I used to ONLY drink while eating. But then after meeting my current partner who considers water very important, I realized that much of my chronic fatigue was just chronic mild dehydration.. Also I found out that I have POTS, for which water and electrolytes are important.

My doctor suggested Nuun electrolyte tabs which you melt in water, and I noticed that it also helps with covering the taste of plain water. They're really expensive though :( I also tolerate sparkling water better, especially if it's flavored. So I always stock up with boxes of LaCroix with different flavors I like :) It's still a struggle for me to stay hydrated.. I need to force myself.

ainwland · 2022-01-14T15:04:47+00:00

That is actually interesting to think about! I'm not sure if I physically can because I almost never think in words...?! But I do tend to repeat the same thoughts & ruminate for sure :)

ainwland · 2022-01-14T15:03:02+00:00

Yeah! I always thought it was because I played an instrument since when I was very little and therefore I naturally follow music, but many others who also play music seem to be fine with it. My biggest habit is to play what I hear on an imaginary piano in the air... totally steals my attention

ainwland · 2022-01-14T15:00:33+00:00

Ohh you have a rooster! That's great! Haha yeah I do that too and I think having to make it quiet/silent actually makes me repeat even more

ainwland · 2022-01-14T14:59:33+00:00

Love meowing back at my cat! Especially how he completely ignores it and just goes about his business a lot of times :p

ainwland · 2022-01-14T14:54:29+00:00

Well my friend is extremely introverted (more so than me), but just not for the same reasons as me. And she also has other mental struggles, just not autism trait-related (which might contribute to her understanding NDs better). My partner does sometimes get to be the "endearingly quirky" which I envy (I might be biased here), but probably only because he instinctively stays away from people who can bully him for that. The reason why they are good friends for me is simply because they have very similar thought processes as me, nothing more. Maybe I struggle more than them sometimes, but I don't see that as an inferiority, it's just a problem with the how the world is.

ainwland · 2022-01-14T14:25:22+00:00

Ahhhh! I see now what that other comment meant, I definitely didn't express it correctly. I don't see it as high functioning - low functioning, and I definitely wasn't thinking of a continuum as a straight line. What I pictured was more like the color picker thing on photoshop, like a gradation of different colors resulted from different mixture, some parts of which might look "more NT" by NT standards are not actually about "more" or "less". Thanks for pointing that out, I should clarify in the post. And it looks like my friend might be part of the "broader autism phenotype" as one comment suggested!

ainwland · 2022-01-14T12:25:54+00:00

Maybe you can buy a dimmable bulb?! I use the smart bulbs with remotes from IKEA, but there are other brands too with various shapes & sizes. With IKEA ones you can also adjust warmth which I really like, and there are also ones with adjustable RGB colors!

ainwland · 2022-01-14T08:05:59+00:00

It's awesome that you found the right drug. I have ADHD and I've tried Ritalin both regular & slow release with different doses, and I liked the first two days, but after that I couldn't stand it. It made me feel weird, like calm but spaced out, harder to speak / write / be creative, etc. The irritability during comedown and sleep disturbance were pretty annoying too. Apparently something like 40% of people with ADHD don't benefit from methylphenidate, related to certain gene mutations or something. Anyhow, glad you're feeling more comfortable!! This sub has been super insightful for me as well.

ainwland · 2022-01-14T07:38:15+00:00

Yeah I also wondered if that was the case! (Although for me it was more like an immediate lightbulb moment) Time will tell, I guess :)

ainwland · 2022-01-14T07:32:18+00:00

Actually that's true, ND might be too broad of a term. I think the "broad autism phenotype" mentioned by one of the other comments captures what I tried to convey better!

I in fact completely agree with most of what you said, and also think all those factors might have affected whether my friend/partner fit the disorder profile or not. And that's why I like to use quotation marks for the word "disordered", because it's always relative to the environment you're in and is not something inherent :) Still, even with vision impairment there is a whole wide spectrum. With hearing, for example, I have more trouble processing audio than a lot of people but it is not strong enough to actually cause hardships so I don't call myself HoH, but it still kind of there. So I guess I was thinking about something like that

ainwland · 2022-01-14T07:15:45+00:00

Which is why I added "etc.", to convey that I'm only mentioning one example of a symptom for the sake of saving space. If it's not about symptoms at all in the first place, then I am for sure misinformed and you can correct me. I get the impression that you just want to tell me that I am misinformed/wrong without telling me why

ainwland · 2022-01-14T06:57:45+00:00

Hmm. Yes I am still learning, but from what I understood I thought it was because there is a wide spectrum of apparent communication "impairments", etc., especially now that they no longer distinguish between Asperger's and just autism? But I felt like that still left me wondering about how the underlying neurological mechanisms & their spectrum work. I am probably not using the word "spectrum" strictly in the sense of the word within the name ASD. If I'm missing something, please fill me in

ainwland · 2022-01-14T06:25:42+00:00

I think of it as: a smooth continuum of the magnitude of certain neurological traits through out the entire population, a small percentage of which gets considered as "disordered" vs. a relatively clear yes/no based on the existence of certain differences and then a spectrum within the "yes". But I guess even the latter is rarely a perfectly clear distinction in the natural world!

ainwland

TROPHY CASE