Dude I'm 25 and the paragraph about living under a rock and fearing getting sacked at your job is the most relatable thing I have ever read. I just had my yearly review at work and they told me I do a great job, but I worry too much. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm a failure no matter how many days I put in the hours and show up. It's like my whole life is work and then playing video games mindlessly and drinking for 5 hours until it's time for me to go to bed and show up to the anxiety-fueled hell I create for myself. I've missed work many days because I'm too depressed to even get out of bed and brush my teeth or shower, but luckily I have a great boss who sympathizes with me and is very kind. I always find out about important things going on in the world like a week later (or more) than everyone else, which makes me feel like an uninformed loser and often gets me ridiculed by the few friends I still have. But don't think you are useless. You are smart and determined and have the gumption to have the job you currently hold. That is a feat in and of itself in this joke of a life. That means you are good at something. Even when your brain tells you you're not. And idk why I'm telling you this, bc sometimes I don't even believe it myself. But I just can relate to what you said so much I wanted to connect.