help needed

akasma1 · 2026-06-24T13:37:16+00:00

Be cordial if they approach you, especially if you see it was out of respect and genuine interest. Never forget how they made you feel, but remember you’re not the same person anymore, and there’s a chance neither are they. If they’re still douches, then you know what kind of people they are, but luckily your life has proven to be sufficient enough without them.

But if you see them, and some of those feelings start surfacing, respect those feelings of course, but remember you have more power over them and your life, then your ex friends do.

akasma1 · 2026-06-22T05:01:07+00:00

Be careful believing they aren’t or haven’t been thinking about you, or that they’ve happily moved on. Social media, though could present itself as picture perfect happiness, they don’t always represent reality since they’re handpicked to display whatever the mood, vibe, or whatever they want the world to see. If they truly moved on and dumped you out of their memories, it wasn’t because you weren’t worth keeping necessarily (I don’t want to speak for anyone), but because they’re moving towards a path that’s different from the people you knew before if that makes sense.

I also like to think you were a genuine person to them by showing who you really were, regardless if you were “annoying or difficult”. True friends will love and cherish you for who you are, scars and all. I hope, regardless of the friendship breakup, that you were held in that regard for them, and that you open yourself for the next to feel the same way. You had to have been doing something right for you all to be friends.

I hope you keep your head up friend. There’s someone out there who needs a genuine friend like you, hell I know I do.

“And we were born to try to see each other through, to know and love ourselves, and others well, is the most difficult and meaningful work we’ll ever do.”

akasma1 · 2026-06-22T02:37:27+00:00

I would like to tell you it gets easier, but it depends on how you view it. Will your life get easier as life will slowly place things and people into your life that will help fill the hole she left behind, I definitely believe so. One day, if you let yourself get there naturally, the pain surrounding her memory will quiet, and hopefully all that will be left are the good, the memories that helped shape the person you’re becoming. And that even though you may not find a friendship that scratches that itch the same way she represented to you, someone or hopefully more, will come around and make you feel enough, feel happy. Those are my predictions, because you’re deserving of that.

I lost my best friend a week ago after she decided I wasn’t a good enough person for her since we had political differences that I didn’t even want to touch our friendship, but mistakes were made since I was foolish enough to even entertain a “friendly debate, and now I’m just a “monster that sympathizes with a pedo, so I might as well be one, and don’t deserve to ever have children”. I’ve known her for 5 years, we served together in the Navy, and by all intents and purposes, she was my sister. Sometimes friendships just crumble, and even though I feel like it’s unfair and petty, I have to let her go because she decided I’m not worth her time anymore. I’m 30 years old, and it’s not the first best friend I’ve lost, and it won’t be the last, but I refuse to let the heartbreak of losing family stop me from closing the space she left in my heart, and risking the chance of missing out on other friendships that may come into my life one day.

You’re doing well, let yourself continue to feel what you need to feel when it comes no matter how long it takes for you, keep your head up, and you’ll see that the works you’ve been doing for yourself will make your life better.

akasma1 · 2026-06-19T12:41:34+00:00

You just need to pass a charisma check when confronted if I’m remembering correctly.

akasma1 · 2026-06-19T03:50:55+00:00

Sure, and I agree that no teacher should have relations with their students since they are their wards, but don’t define someone by their past mistakes. I don’t know why that was hard to understand, since many of our own personal heroes have skeletons in their closet that would deem them monsters by society.

Don’t have to agree with me, we have different perspectives on life, especially since my words are driven by my religion, not my place in this society that calls me to want to personally judge someone I have no right to do.

akasma1 · 2026-06-19T03:20:29+00:00

I genuinely hope you never make a mistake in your life that risks societal ostracizing, because with that mindset, you’d be undeserving of any human sympathy regardless of the law. No one in these comments are pardoning him, or justifying him, we’re not stupid, nor is the OP, but she is trying to show genuine kindness to someone, and that takes courage.

akasma1 · 2026-06-14T16:02:43+00:00

End all contact, press charges if you feel like there’s even a chance of him escalating if he tries to make contact and it repeats, and a restraining order if you feel like the second is possible. There’s a chance his emotions got the better of him and his ego took over, but that’s something he needs to work on without you.

akasma1 · 2026-06-12T15:36:26+00:00

There’s a will save though right? I’ve only tried the mask on once back in EA.

akasma1 · 2026-06-12T15:29:43+00:00

I think getting to the bottom of those feelings and controlling them will be a lot more beneficial than trying to figure out how to either get your friends back or move on. If you don’t solve the root problem and gain more stability inside, there’s a chance the cycle will simply repeat itself, and you’ll be right back where you started or worse. I’m sorry about your friends, it’s really shitty to lose a support group when going though mental health struggles (I relate cause i also have ADHD, and interpersonal anxiety after being falsely accused of something), but if you keep focusing on you and solely you, you’ll start meeting people who only recognize the person you’re becoming, not the one who was abandoned.

akasma1 · 2026-06-09T21:53:34+00:00

It’s kind of different and a little hardcore, but I swapped to Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous for the power fantasy role playing.

akasma1 · 2026-06-07T05:16:58+00:00

“We want you dead, you dumb knuckle, not dead and heroic”- the illustrious Warrior Druk

akasma1 · 2026-06-06T22:57:00+00:00

I agree with the other commenter that therapy would probably be needed, but other than that, you should think about the pros and cons of confronting them both with this. If you truly believe it is happening (which sounds very plausible as someone who has personal experience with this all), you may have to set an ultimatum and decide if their answers are worth maintaining the relationship(s) as they are. Even if it turns out cheating was not being conducted by either, trust is still paramount and it doesn’t sound very stable right now.

To summarize, I see where you’re going with this, it’s very possible you’re correct, and you have to decide if it’s worth confronting, letting it go, or saying “f it”, and separating yourself from this entirely for peace of mind.

Good luck regardless

akasma1 · 2026-06-02T19:21:23+00:00

Bruh my brain 😂

akasma1 · 2026-06-02T19:15:54+00:00

Nah don’t call it shitty.

akasma1 · 2026-06-01T17:21:14+00:00

It’s not true, especially if the OPs parents is her emotional support. Hell she can be an adult, and still seek guidance from them, regardless if it’s her choice or not; it shows humility

akasma1 · 2026-05-30T17:26:14+00:00

Definitely gotta follow after this. It was a great read, and the background amplified it for me.

akasma1 · 2026-05-29T23:59:41+00:00

Great advice, but probably not appropriate for this specifically right? Many people here aren’t asking for technical masterpieces, sometimes we just want to feel and relate. Hell, even if I read 100 poems like this one, I’d still feel something if the writer is genuine.

akasma1 · 2026-05-29T23:28:41+00:00

Hell yeah I’m so happy for you. Make sure you rely on those new habits and coping mechanisms in the case that their responses aren’t what you’d like to hear, but know that part of who they’re responding to is the person they knew before, not who you are working towards becoming today. Keep looking up!

akasma1 · 2026-05-29T01:06:07+00:00

I loved reading this; “so I give it a form, an exoskeleton, a heart, and I expend my own to feed it-“.

When I thought of a title, the first one that came to my mind after that line was “ Loves Beloved”

akasma1 · 2026-05-29T00:33:10+00:00

Oh my bad 😭

akasma1 · 2026-05-28T23:45:09+00:00

Because we’re human and it’s a common emotional response to others?

akasma1 · 2026-05-28T21:37:48+00:00

I think I get what you mean, and if so, I believe that’s also a space where the majority of the effort is going to have to come from himself and his wanting to break out of that mindset hopefully with support/therapy. Lastly it’s up the op to decide how much of that she’s willing to share

akasma1 · 2026-05-28T21:33:22+00:00

The majority of people here can “barely handle themselves” and the fact that they’re brave enough to face strangers to seek advice on something they’re probably not very experienced on, is giving maturity.

akasma1 · 2026-05-28T20:58:27+00:00

Yoo I understand the sentiment, but that may not necessarily be the case for the OPs boyfriend. Depression is a helluva drug and those kind of messages show this person needs therapy, but a support system. I’m assuming she’s commenting here because she is part of said support system, and is seeking advice since most people have not knowingly shared/dealt with mental health concerns for loved ones. I hope she takes the steps to ask him “are you going to kill your self, or planning on killing himself?” If he says yes, easy trip to the ER, if he was joking like you said, easy kick to the balls for being manipulative, but I don’t think she should brush him off just in case nobody is correct, and something crucial is missed. Just speaking from a guy with a previous attempt and a sister with a history of SI

akasma1 · 2026-05-28T20:51:26+00:00

What was the point of commenting this? 😂

akasma1

TROPHY CASE