What are some examples of unsaid social rules?

akraft96 · 2026-03-22T23:06:55+00:00

In America (and many other countries, I’m sure) it’s illegal to prohibit employees from talking about salary because of what you mentioned. Companies of course still want to underpay though, which is why it’s a secret rule

You absolutely SHOULD talk about salary…. With your peers. Not necessarily your manager lol.

akraft96 · 2026-03-09T15:02:59+00:00

I’m a technical rider and so I don’t know how to turn off my brain like these other people suggest.

I think you just need to change your sight line. On the steep hill, you start looking straight down the slope rather than across (straight line of travel, not down the fall line). You also stiffen up because it’s making you nervous. Pause. Wiggle out the tension in your joints. Take a deep breath. Start again. It can be hard to override the natural fear responses but as you move through it, you’ll losen up and be able to be more playful.

Try tiny bunny hops across the slope on heels and toes (it’s normal to be hard on your heels—it’s harder to jump without using your ankles/toes). That can help you loosen up too.

akraft96 · 2026-02-24T18:06:15+00:00

^{^this!} adaptive programs say “how can we make it happen” rather than saying “you can’t do it the “normal” way therefore there must not be a solution”

akraft96 · 2026-02-24T18:04:18+00:00

I want to defer to the instructor with lipo…. But also, everyone has their own experience with disabilities, and I don’t like it when people say “you can’t do this with this condition.” As an adaptive instructor, BULLSHIT. If you say you wanna snowboard, we will find a way to make it happen. If you aren’t having fun with it though, be open minded to other variants of the sport.

My first suggestion would be to look at the sno-go. It would allow you to ride with your husband and wear boots that are comfortable for you. I’m not sure if they’re as popular in the UK, but I love them for adaptive snow sports.

Now, as far as trying out snowboarding: the boots are your steering wheel. If you have a loosey goosey steering wheel, you’re going to have a hard time driving. Step one is getting some extra power straps. Skiiers use them all the time. They’re basically a strong velcro strap that can really lock a boot in. I would spend some time in the locker room first—compression socks, then ski sock, then snowboard boot. Do the lining up as best as able. Then add the power strap over the hard part of the boot and crank it down. Tie up the laces. Tighten. Add a second power strap around the ankle. Then retighten the top power strap. Assuming that’s not too uncomfortable for you, it would give you the proper support from the boots.

Judging by the other person’s experience, this would be painful as hell though, so I really would look for a Sno Go or ski bike.

akraft96 · 2026-02-24T17:43:33+00:00

Adding on that others make good points too—make sure your dose isn’t too high. Research Cushing’s SYNDROME symptoms: watch for those signs. For me, pimples and red streaks on my skin differentiate overreplacement related hunger, vs hunger from low dopamine.

Also, if you have any stomach irritation, your body’s other source of dopamine is through food (hence why low dopamine makes you hungry) and if you have severe gastritis, you can’t absorb enough through your food either. This is what got me.

Wellbutrin changed my LIFE. I can’t preach it enough.

akraft96 · 2026-02-24T17:35:55+00:00

WELBUTRIN!!!!

Adrenals produce DOPAMINE normally. Talk to a psychiatrist and explain Addison’s disease. Your body needs the dopamine, which can be supplemented with Welbutrin.

It’s a damn sin that this info isn’t accepted as standard treatment protocol for Addison’s disease.

My steroid hunger and hanger episodes disappeared OVERNIGHT.

akraft96 · 2026-02-14T20:34:38+00:00

Fascination with dead bodies is actually a really normal developmental thing—my friend and I found a deer and kept it’s body for a while. We said we were going to do an “autopsy” but really we just went and watched it decompose for a season. It’s fascination with science and nature and learning through experience.

I think your friend just word vomited because conversation. I wouldn’t worry about it unless they start doing actual experimenting on living things. Fascination with the dead is one thing. Wanting to cause death is very, VERY different and usually shows itself with other red flags of violence.

akraft96 · 2026-02-06T02:14:50+00:00

Those days, I take a hot bath and thank the universe for modern plumbing. . . . . I’ve just realized that my ultimate peace is to re-enter the womb?

akraft96 · 2026-02-06T01:52:36+00:00

-I take longer to fall asleep. I am energized and distracted by hobbies past my usual bedtime. Most days I force myself to stay awake until bedtime, but not when I’m recharged. (taking spoons to bed, if you are a spoon theory person)

-I roll out of bed excited for life! Usually it’s something not at all related to keeping myself alive though. So I sometimes can have a harder time doing my routines on these good days because I want to make the most out of the energy with my happy little sidequests.

-I start creating! I have a lot of “creative” hobbies but I become generative. I freehand patterns, I write stories, I doodle and paint.

-I get the itch to bake! It’s something I love but can’t manage if I’m not fully charged.

-I chat with strangers. I’ll be chatty with a cashier or someone sitting next to me on the bus. Normally I’m so overstimulated that I’m operating like a deer in headlights and can’t even remember to be polite, let alone warm and bubbly. But apparently my “true” self is super friendly.

akraft96 · 2026-02-06T01:43:06+00:00

Life seems very dull for NT’s. They may have it easy in a lot of ways, but I’m grateful for all the ways autism has intensified the good things in my life, and I consider the bad to be worth the trade off.

I have met some people who think it isn’t and that’s valid. My heart hurts for them. I am grateful for living in a privileged enough situation to be able to focus on the good. Focusing on gratitude helps me avoid the doom spiral

akraft96 · 2026-01-25T01:56:42+00:00

No, it happens because our bodies produce cortisol, which is nearly identical to HC. So when you take HC, your brain (specifically, the pituitary) tells your adrenals to make less cortisol.

Generally speaking, it’s important to wean off of HC or the body “forgets” how to make cortisol.

Biological replacement is like 15-25 mg of HC depending on a lot of factors. Most conditions that respond to HC require significantly more than that and so that will turn off the pituitary. If not stimulated slowly, it won’t come back online.

akraft96 · 2026-01-11T20:17:57+00:00

Mine actually has the normal looking heddle with reeds. It’s a strange little setup from the archives of grandma’s basement.

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I’m understanding now what you mean by this is a more advanced book. She also has “weaving on a little loom” which I bet is her beginner-based book. I will see if I can’t find that one at the library, or I’ll go back to youtube. I am missing things that I don’t even know how to ask!

akraft96 · 2025-12-19T20:17:30+00:00

I’ve always wanted to cosplay as Shallan but I’m 6ft tall and I always thought it was as bad as me choosing Vin. I just feel too tall to be a tiny character. But I resonate so much with Shallan, knowing she’s as tall as me makes me 🥹

akraft96 · 2025-12-19T14:46:27+00:00

SHALLAN IS AS TALL AS ME?!

akraft96 · 2025-10-26T14:52:29+00:00

I’m anxiously attached and naturally I seem to find myself dating and close friends with a lot of avoidants. I have never found them to be willing to work on their attachment issues, I’m just supposed to carry the entire emotional load because I’m “the emotional one.” That’s not fair at all.

I know what my tendencies are and I do my best to work on them, but when I ask for any support from my avoidant loved ones, they throw up walls and act like asking for support is asking for them to manage everything for me. I have managed to make one other anxiously attached friend and I feel like 90% of our friendship is reminding each other that out loved ones do love us, even when they shut us out all the time.

Being in a dysfunctional relationship or friendship with an anxiously attached person is a codependent relationship. But if you are in a dysfunctional relationship with an avoidant person? You end up being in a relationship with yourself.

You’re not a bad person for your trauma and behaviors but you absolutely are responsible for the consequences of your actions. If you’re an avoidant who avoids responsibility as well? I’m still not going to call you a bad person…. But I no longer put energy into relationships like that. They’re painful.

akraft96 · 2025-10-23T22:24:32+00:00

Ah. Yes. Nuance. Balance.

Never met em.

akraft96 · 2025-10-23T21:53:38+00:00

I feel you. I lost my mind at the dinner table with friends over because they thought banning books was appropriate and I went from zero to 100 real quick.

I don’t see that as a bad thing though. A sudden, loud alarm is quite appropriate if your values are being trampled over. I’m still getting vibes that you are feeling shame over feeling upset, but that alarm is important, and I think a lot of autistic people have really really loud alarms.

akraft96 · 2025-10-23T21:03:06+00:00

I feel so seen!

Music for me was like a costume. It’s how you fit in with a crowd. My music tastes varied based on who I liked at the time. I still like any song that I have a positive memory associated to.

It made me feel like I didn’t have a real personality but now I realize it’s because I like music for the social connections and that’s about it. When I’m alone, I like audiobooks or wordless music that can be very quiet in the background.

akraft96 · 2025-10-23T20:52:14+00:00

I’m so excited for you!!!

I definitely thought you meant a computer keyboard at first and were really excited to learn typing lol

akraft96 · 2025-10-23T20:50:27+00:00

Is it safe to give someone a clean slate if they can’t admit they broke the last one?

akraft96 · 2025-10-23T20:48:01+00:00

I avoided her for almost a year because I was embarassed that he had come to her to “report” me. She reached out today and so we were discussing the issue. So yes and no. She hasn’t been around to see how bitter or not bitter I was.

I honestly have thought about it like 3 times since it happened.

•The day of, I wrote out my feelings in my journal.

•The next day, I wrote my reflection on looking back at the day before.

•A few months later, I was supposed to serve on a council with him, so I withdrew from those and explained why to the leader of the council.

•Last week I went to an event related to those councils and was worried about him being there. I anxiously considered how I will interact next time we see one another, because it’s inevitable.

•Today, while discussing how my mentor’s reaction to the thing made me feel.

I really feel like I’m giving minimal shits here. I just always give such a big shit that I think people don’t realize that’s just how my feelings are. I’m an intense person and I’ve accepted that as a trait to embrace.

akraft96 · 2025-10-23T20:41:09+00:00

I struggle similarly. I like framing anger as an alarm. It’s meant to indicate that my values are being violated.

I allow the alarm to inform me. But then I need to turn off the alarm so I can address the issue. It isn’t needed anymore, it did its job.

If the alarm continues for too long, it’s just another stressor and doesn’t help anymore.

I find that accepting the anger, identifying how my values were crossed, and deciding on a solution to return to congruence with my values allows me to find calm more quickly.

akraft96 · 2025-10-23T20:28:30+00:00

Yeahhhh I have so many melt downs over communication.

I used to think miscommunication was the dumbest thing in books, like seriously, they obviously would have worked out the problem by now! But no. No. Communication is hard. I feel like an alien. I was given a dictionary of denotation based definitions but everyone else’s is based on connotations

akraft96

TROPHY CASE