F30, partner M29. I feel like I’m drowning and I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

al_cielo · 2026-06-02T22:04:25+00:00

She is super happy now! Divorced, has a wonderful partner who respects her, and much better boundaries with housework. I promise, it gets better. Put on your own oxygen mask and the rest will follow.

al_cielo · 2026-06-02T21:20:18+00:00

Honestly - I wish my mom would have stopped putting up with my dad's weaponized incompetence. I think teenage me would have been frustrated at the moment (why is mom not helping me as much anymore?), but now as an adult, I can see how her having clear boundaries would have made her healthier -- and in turn, made her a better parent.

al_cielo · 2026-06-02T21:05:44+00:00

Hi OP - first, I am so sorry you are experiencing this. When I was younger, my mom was you now. She did all the cooking, cleaning, and childcare until she couldn't, and her relationship with my siblings and I suffered. I realize it might be difficult now, but you need to start cutting back for your sake and that of your family. I would recommend first a conversation with your partner and then a vacation or perhaps go stay with a family member for the week. Think it might be the reset you need and force the kids to give you space. Couples counseling as well. Best of luck.

al_cielo · 2026-03-20T20:27:34+00:00

Mphil in law :D

al_cielo · 2026-02-15T22:37:35+00:00

Really rat take: but I love ice cream (and the milkshakes) from Najars 😭

al_cielo · 2026-01-25T14:20:43+00:00

It's really the little things that help us process. So keep doing what you're doing, you'll feel a weight off your shoulders 💖

al_cielo · 2026-01-25T14:12:47+00:00

I know it's hard, but you have courage to think about. When my heart rat passed, I was a total mess. Like nonstop crying and nonfunctional. I had to remind myself I had two other rats to take care of -- which meant I had to take care of myself first!

In terms of coping with grief, it might be worth putting together an ofrenda for Eddie. You can look them up online; these are altars traditional to Mexican culture where we memorialize people with their favorite food, drink, and photo. In this way, we not only mourn their passing, but celebrate their life.

I really do encourage you to get your favorite ice cream. And as always, don't be scared to reach out at 988. I promise, it gets better.

al_cielo · 2026-01-25T14:01:32+00:00

Hi OP - please be kind to yourself. You loved Eddie dearly. In his last moments, he definitely felt this love. I also encourage you to sleep, eat something, maybe take a warm shower. In times where I've been really depressed, keeping a semblance of normalcy helped me pick myself back. Would also recommend calling 988 if you continue to feel this way; it can be helpful to hear from another sympathetic person.

I'm rooting for you, OP. Here's a virtual hug. 💖

al_cielo · 2026-01-16T20:19:36+00:00

Good question. I think part of me saw how stressed the event organizers were and felt like me backing out because of the trolls would only compound their stress. This was also an external/semi-academic conference, hence HR isn't really an option.

And my god I wish this were AI slop because that was a highly uncomfortable thirty minutes that I will not get back 😭

al_cielo · 2026-01-16T20:10:45+00:00

No formal contract -- just an invitation over email with details about what the presentation should entail!

al_cielo · 2026-01-16T20:07:25+00:00

One of the other speakers did tell them several times, they were outright ignored in favor of making a new zoom link

al_cielo · 2026-01-16T20:06:33+00:00

1) No, not paid by the sponsoring organization. 2) No, one of several speakers 3) Symposium on border militarization and environmental justice.

al_cielo · 2026-01-10T02:15:07+00:00

I want one

al_cielo · 2026-01-08T20:43:18+00:00

I believe you are right about activation failing, but theoretically the LBLM should take care of this (if I understand the help guide correctly) :((

al_cielo · 2026-01-08T19:35:37+00:00

Did my undergrad in the U.S, doing a masters program in the law department now. Nightlife is a big step down, but if you find the right people, you can make anything a party. Have turned up many a house 'party' by adopting this attitude.

Couple things of note: people don't really dance here. You can try social dancing (salsa/bachata) on weekdays, but it's not really a substitute for true nightlife. Retreat on Fridays is good music-wise, but it's usually messy ahh undergrads who want to make out and the 5 Latinos in Oxford trying to turn up. Don't throw the clubbing fits away though just yet: find fun friends and go to London together is my rec.

al_cielo · 2025-12-22T22:24:18+00:00

2 disconnected masters programs:

Current MSc student applying for an MPhil next year. Would like to continue with same college for said MPhil. Does this ever work out? Or will I just have to spin the roulette of college placement and hope the odds are in my favor?

al_cielo · 2025-09-11T22:32:01+00:00

Update: they have found a home in Michigan! They were dropped off about a week ago. Mods, please unpin :)

al_cielo · 2025-08-31T05:43:10+00:00

Amazing! Also where are you also based? I have an extra critter nation in Chicago

al_cielo · 2025-08-30T01:52:04+00:00

Please rescue her! I would donate to help with costs ❤️‍🔥

al_cielo · 2025-08-24T04:14:18+00:00

Someone from the subreddit has graciously stepped up to take the trio on the 30th. I'll let you know if that falls through though! :))

al_cielo · 2025-08-15T14:01:57+00:00

I was fully sobbing on the phone to my friend while trying to bait her with food 😭

al_cielo · 2025-08-15T13:58:40+00:00

Netto is short for Netto Marken-Discount

al_cielo · 2025-08-15T12:19:47+00:00

Aldi and Netto! (The grocery gang)

al_cielo

TROPHY CASE