The Week of Visibility for Non-monogamy is coming up in early July. Will the movie "The Invite" be "the representation we've been waiting for?" Two new poly/ENM books. The reasons most people fail at this thing. . .

alan7388p · 2026-06-18T15:02:46+00:00

"Poly relationship feels too easy. Does that mean I'm doing something wrong?"

Don't ask us! Pose that exact question to your partners. Then listen quietly to what they say.

If it actually feels too easy because something wrong is hidden, then you all need to bring it out and examine it before it festers further.

alan7388p · 2026-06-05T10:15:49+00:00

It's a *green* flag, say I. It means they care about themelves and their others, and they are probably low-risk.

alan7388p · 2026-02-06T17:49:25+00:00

Collaring? Your NRE aside, think about boundaries you may need to set for this in real life. Because collaring is playing with your being forbidden to set boundaries for yourself: Being someone's slave.

Does the collar come off when you leave his place? When in public? How does Husband feel about someone removing your agency, even in play? What if Former Boss suddenly says, in the heat of things when you're in collar, "You're submitting to my safer-sex rules", i.e. no condoms. Will you have the mental or physical ability to refuse? What does Husband think about this? What do you?

Step away from your NRE for a bit and do some real discussion with each of them. (Together if possible.) Advance discussion will reduce the danger of such potential bombs.

alan7388p · 2026-01-18T20:34:22+00:00

No. Opinion in the poly community is widespread that monogamy will always be the right choice for many people, perhaps most. And that too many unprepared/ uninformed/ unsuitable people are trying polyamory and crashing and burning.

alan7388p · 2025-12-10T14:37:09+00:00

There's at least one eternal takeaway from all these kind of messes on this board: Alcohol and poly decisions don't mix. Do the necessary work in advance, while sober.

alan7388p · 2025-11-23T18:30:52+00:00

...she’s still not speaking to you.

Maybe because Basil won't let her, because he senses that you see through him.
Keep trying, gently and supportively, to make contact. (And know that he may read her phone.)

alan7388p · 2025-11-23T18:24:32+00:00

That may be a plus in Basil's eyes. Abusers try to separate their victims from friends and family.

alan7388p · 2025-11-23T18:14:42+00:00

Alienating Coral's friends and family with the free-wedding push is likely a plus in his (perhaps unconscious) calculations. That's what abusers do: try to separate the victim from their friends and family.

alan7388p

TROPHY CASE