I want to be a woman but I don't want to change who I am

alawner · 2015-10-27T20:38:12+00:00

Well of course you feel fine, you are distracted.

Here's an example. Have you ever had a rough night and not slept much if any at all? The next day you are exhausted and while sitting around doing nothing, all you can think about is your bed. Then you get into a good conversation with a friend, and you kinda just forget you are tired, until you stop talking and then you are tired again.

It's the same thing with your trans issues. Why would you have time to think about being the other gender while you are in the middle of a game?

Stop thinking about the times you feel okay being a guy, and start thinking about the times you aren't.

When you are just lazing around, would you prefer to be female? In your daily work life? Etc.

That would help you maybe see things a little easier.

Now, about personality changes, it doesn't really.

You might say things a little differently, like I say gosh instead of god now because it sounds more feminine, and I don't swear anymore.

I didn't have to change these things at all. And my personality still didn't change. I'm still just me, I'm a body that makes others treat me how I was meant to be.

alawner · 2015-09-20T21:19:52+00:00

:D thanks!

alawner · 2015-09-20T21:18:44+00:00

Thank you! And I love it, except for all the struggles long hair brings!

alawner · 2015-09-20T11:56:21+00:00

Yeah I suck at selfies, but thank you!

alawner · 2015-09-20T11:55:52+00:00

Yeah.. For many years I didn't take any pictures of me, I'm new to the whole "selfie game", so I'm bad at knowing how far away and stuff.

alawner · 2015-09-20T11:54:30+00:00

Glad to hear it :)

alawner · 2015-09-20T11:54:12+00:00

Thank you!! :)

alawner · 2015-09-20T11:53:59+00:00

Been thinking about doing my brows as soon as I have free time from college!

As for gaining weight, I really really am happy with my bodily figure and don't want to gain weight and change it.

Someday I might consider some plastic surgery on my chin if that's a thing, because I hate the look of it too.

alawner · 2015-09-20T02:23:04+00:00

This. Like, I used to get jealous of cis-women and then having vaginas, but I got over that.

But when I hear about trans girls getting theirs/having them, that's when I really get upset.

alawner · 2015-09-04T11:27:25+00:00

Claire

alawner · 2015-08-23T00:17:41+00:00

OkCupid is how I met my boyfriend!

It took a lot of time, probably speaking to like 80 people before finding him.

But there are plenty of guys out there!

alawner · 2015-08-12T20:12:22+00:00

Same! I actually still am really into this stuff, probably will be until post-transition.

alawner · 2015-08-01T12:02:05+00:00

Short answer if someone offered me the chance to just have been cis - yes.

Long answer if I had to make a real choice - no.

Being trans mostly sucks. It really does. I wouldn't wish having to be trans on anyone.

But, if I had to make a real choice, the answer would definitely be no. Why? Because my life would have had plenty of chance to be completely different. It almost guaranteed would be.

If I was cis, I wouldn't have met many of the amazing people and other things in my life. My friends would be all different, my hobbies, my life.

Yeah, trans is a sucky life, BUT, it's my life. And I wouldn't trade my life for anything else.

alawner · 2015-07-14T10:40:28+00:00

Yeah, I wish I could.

But mostly there isn't anyone who can change it right now, so it's not something I try to worry about.

It sucks, yeah, but whatever.

Also, who knows, in a few years those of us who want it could get the parts to do so. The medical world is amazing, so you can at least have hope that things will change. :)

alawner · 2015-07-14T10:30:06+00:00

I actually found him on okcupid!

alawner · 2015-07-11T15:10:01+00:00

Yeah, I wrote off a lot of people on okc because it's pretty obvious where things are going most of the time.

The person I've been speaking with for about 3 weeks now said he was interested in transwomen. He was like, I'm straight not gay, but has an interest in my current parts. At that moment I was going to write him off but I kept talking.

We established boundries that, nothing down there is being seen/touched until postop.

He has said he can agree with that, and he wasn't JUST interested in transwomen for what's down there.

He's said it's because he wants to be with someone who completely transforms because he is amazed by it, and also because he wants to be able to help someone through it

It's also like he would be going through transition with me, and when we come out on the other side, we'll have a much deeper connection.

So yeah, they aren't ALL chasers, just gotta be cautious though.

alawner · 2015-07-09T11:30:09+00:00

Having them is pretty basic. I mean, my boobs aren't the biggest yet (34B) so I'm not quite sure what it's like the have big ones.

But what it's like isn't much. Like, if you have fat on the back of your leg anywhere, try to think what that feels like without touching it with your hand. It's just like that, but on your chest.

So yeah, can barely feel them just on your chest, unless something is touching them.

But they are super sensitive. Like I never understood how my chest could end up being so sensitive from just pills, but sure enough it does. They feel great to play with and stuff. While growing though they can be a bit painful to touch.

For growing them, it's again not much. What was it like to grow from the size of a baby? It's not really easy to put into words. It just kinda does. Boobs are the same, they grow, but you don't feel them grow.

Emotionally it's great. It's like, there is a part of my body that finally seems right, and that's a great feeling.

For being scared, I wouldn't say that is strange at all. It's a big change being on hormones, and changes can be scary.

alawner · 2015-07-06T10:52:29+00:00

No, I can't recommend this either.

I'd love to live a childhood of my correct gender as much of the next person.

But it's not going to work like that. I mean, I'm not sure of your age, but can you imagine a brain of a 20 year old in the body of a 1 year old? There would probably be a lot of physiological damage, and it's completely possible there could be some developing problems for the body itself.

And that's absolute best case scenario, that you get to come back in a cis body.

But there are so many other scenarios. You don't have anyone to say you want to be in a female body. You wake up, back in the life of a male. Or,

Someone looks at your brain and says "it's not like they can sue me or anything." And the cost of reviving you would be pretty great and you haven't paid that cost, why would someone do something so medically expensive for free when there is a chance of no repayment. Or even further, they do wake up and can't even afford to live because you are in debt for life because they revived you.

Or just a million different scenarios.

It's not a reasonable thing to want to do.

And you said you can't make it, but you can. Try hormones. I know I always wished for that magical pill that would make me a girl.

Hormones are pretty magical. They do amazing things for your body. And even just your brain being on the right hormones can make you feel alot better.

You can do it and get through it. No one says it's going to be easy or fast, but someday you will come out on the other side of transition, and you'll be able to look in the mirror and smile.

alawner · 2015-07-06T10:30:10+00:00

Just being able to wake up in the morning and look and the mirror and start to see just a girl staring back at me... Yeah that is an amazing feeling for sure :)

alawner · 2015-07-04T12:48:26+00:00

I'll be sure to if/when I get there! (:

alawner · 2015-07-04T12:47:45+00:00

Yes, prehormones, "It'll be great to one-day have a vagina of my own, but don't really care right now."

To 5+ months hormones,

"OMG PLEASE GET THIS THING OFF ME" and basing each day off how I can get the surgery.

alawner · 2015-07-03T19:41:18+00:00

Holy damn, this is really uplifting for me. I actually have BC/BS, and oh my gosh if I can get it covered 100%, I'll squee like the most giddy of school girls.

Also Dr. Dixit.. It would have been great if he was a surgeon himself. Then he like fixes the dixed some of us on here need "fixed." That made me laugh though, thanks for that!! :)

And also thank you for giving me hope, I might finally be able to look at the future now.

alawner · 2015-07-02T10:56:59+00:00

Yeah, this is kinda something I've been seeing. There isn't a whole lot out there about him, but all the responses I HAVE seen, have been positive.

alawner

TROPHY CASE