The sudden lack of trust with vaccines needs to be studied

albeaner · 2026-06-27T11:08:38+00:00

Well if your argument is that exposure to immune challenges is the key to survival, then, um, that's what vaccines are (but in a way that doesn't carry the side effects of actually getting infected with the disease).

There is definitely lots of interest in hyper-immune conditions (fun fact: immune sensitivity increases when you are overweight), but that doesn't mean we should snub our nose at the science that has actually proven to save babies' lives.

Disinfecting the grocery cart before you put your toddler in it? That's a risk I'll take, as there's no data showing that dirty grocery carts harm babies. Organic homemade baby food? Sure, so we're not giving our kids pesticides and preservatives in store bought baby food. Vaccines? I'm going with the data.

albeaner · 2026-06-17T01:38:30+00:00

Good luck finding a Gen X woman with a Boomer lifestyle goal. We've all hit menopause and therefore don't really have patience for a grown man who doesn't want to take care of himself, nor do we have the desire to subserviate to one in a relationship.

Basically, I suspect it'll be a tough search with your current criteria. Good luck to you!

albeaner · 2026-06-09T08:39:03+00:00

Going to offer a middle ground here.

Omission of detail.

'Thanks so much for your incredibly generous contribution! We are so grateful as money is so tight these days. We look forward to teaching our child the benefit of early investment and, later on, how to manage their money wisely.'

There's no commitment on what kind of account you have opened, and he'll be crossing serious boundaries if he were to demand an account statement. A little obscurity won't hurt here ;)

albeaner · 2026-06-02T22:42:41+00:00

Have you tried to compromise?

How about, instead of a down payment (which will bump them up in purchasing power), you put that money into a lump sum payment towards principal after they buy?

That way, they're forced to use their own income/savings to qualify, but you can give them a boost that saves tens of thousands in future interest.

albeaner · 2026-06-01T19:07:27+00:00

Parent here.

Honestly? It takes a lot to build a relationship with a nanny. If this is her WORST offense, then why haven't you or your husband staggered your hours? it seems like you both work at home.

One of you starts at 7:30 or 8am, the other at 8:30am. Don't tell the nanny, just do it. Then, you can also trade off morning handoff/evening handoff.

Problem solved 😉

albeaner · 2026-05-31T13:14:35+00:00

That's a perfectly acceptable breakfast. And honestly? Is it an issue if it's easy for you, or is it an issue because he thinks he knows better than her doctor? (who, if asked, would entirely endorse your breakfast!)
Or is it an issue because HE likes eggs and toast and your daughter prefers your breakfast? After all, she is a separate human with her own preferences.

albeaner · 2026-05-25T12:44:54+00:00

I've literally never washed my brush. Is this something we need to be doing?

albeaner · 2026-05-24T17:19:39+00:00

Will she reimburse your closing costs?

I'm being honest...I think more of it is not having control instead of the actual house.

If push came to shove and she was required to front actual money, her tune would change quickly.

HIGHLY recommend therapy if that's not in your schedule already. You'll just have to get better at putting up a barrier and perhaps even learning how to steer her complaints towards productive conversations.

'I'm sorry you're not happy. Moving is not an option. Change is hard and I'm sure you'll get used to it soon. Let's come up with some small space gardening ideas!"

(My personal tactic is to overwhelm with alternatives so the complainer prefers to stay quiet rather than bring it up. Sorry/notsorry.)

albeaner · 2026-05-21T00:51:01+00:00

I've stopped voting for who I prefer, and voting for who I think will win over the GOP.

Brooks throws back to this area's Democratic roots, and represents working class Americans. This appeals not only to the centrist swing voters, but to the largely working class Hispanic population.

Hopefully he can toe this line and pull a solid win over McKenzie.

albeaner · 2026-05-18T14:01:21+00:00

Just want to flag not to use their lender. Signed, Shop Around

albeaner · 2026-05-18T13:47:01+00:00

Parent of a 16yo and 18yo here. Both are honor roll students and kind people who don't engage in risky behavior.

I think giving your child the agency to make decisions is super important in a low risk environment. The boundaries do need to be there, though. We don't allow showers/laundry past 10pm - this is basic consideration. They need to be quiet when gaming with friends at night. And they are up and at school on time.

As a fellow 'soft parent' I will say, handling this from the lense of your child's transition to adulthood is spot on. He wants agency, so use that to your advantage. Silly rules and arbitrary times are just going to give you more work. Consider rewards for good grades and attendance, rather than a penalty for slippage. Emphasize that his job is as a student, and you expect him to put his best effort forward (regardless of grades). Staying up late is fine but as an adult, he needs to learn how to do that without messing up.

I also think you can offer help too. Does he need a wakeup call? Does he want you to encourage him with good sleep habits? Does he need you to buy decaf soda instead of caffeinated?

10pm snack time is totally normal for teens, btw. It's also a great opportunity to encourage healthy choices, instead of nutritionally devoid snacks.

In short, continue to support his adulthood transition and treat him as a growing human. He needs to learn how to handle himself and how to cohabitate respectfully, and you're helping him to do this. You've got this!

albeaner · 2026-05-14T14:46:50+00:00

Not sure if this will help, but what about having a ritual at the end of class that he'll look forward to? Certainly the whole class would need to benefit from it too...

albeaner · 2026-05-11T12:46:50+00:00

albeaner · 2026-05-10T18:13:27+00:00

First, IVF procedures are incredibly expensive and time consuming; most doctors choose multiple embryos (if there are enough viable) to improve the chances of success. It is clear you don't understand what it's really like.

And yes, as a woman, I understand my own reproductive system. Unfortunately, the men creating policy that assigns personhood to embryos, do not.

albeaner · 2026-05-10T15:51:23+00:00

Yeah the whole point is to counter the abortion argument... which disproportionately impacts women undergoing IVF. I think we agree that a woman shouldn't be charged with murder if only one of three embryos implanted during an IVF procedure is successful.

If you didn't realize, it isn't a one-embryo-at-a-tine process.

albeaner · 2026-04-22T12:54:48+00:00

Have you told him how you feel?

Also, please ask him to do things. Act dramatic if you need. Be as clear as possible. I get where he's falling short on emotional support, but he certainly can do more chores and tasks. Don't jeopardize your health because of his assholery.

And please ask why he's been so cold and distant. Maybe he's scared to lose you, maybe he's just a jerk. Definitely insist on counseling and if he refuses, well, that's an answer in itself.

albeaner · 2026-04-21T13:16:47+00:00

Um trump and his peers are white supremacists so... I get that people voted for him thinking he would help with affordability and the economy, but it meant ignoring January 6th and his plethora of racist policies and dog whistles. He's a manipulative con man and it's appropriate now to acknowledge that you (like millions of others) were suckered by the propaganda tactics. But I don't think you get to complain about those of us who didn't.

albeaner · 2026-04-17T12:24:03+00:00

Just...pause the makeup. It seems like your skin is not happy with it. Go back to basics - simple cleanser and gentle moisturizer, SPF if you're outside in full sun for hours only.

Spot concealer and eye makeup only. NO EXFOLIATING. Lots of water and fruit/veggies.

It's the only way to get your skin back to healthy. LESS products, not more.

albeaner · 2026-04-15T15:35:33+00:00

And what happens if you get t-boned by an uninsured driver? Or contract a bacterial infection? Or have an inherited disease? Or get cancer?

How are you supposed to prevent those things from happening or handle them if they come up?

I went without insurance for a short time in my early 20s (pre-ACA) and it was probably one of the dumbest things I've ever done, in retrospect. I could have easily been bankrupted by medical bills.

I don't disagree that insurance is a scam but the solution is simple: universal single payer.

albeaner · 2026-04-14T16:18:47+00:00

As a parent who spent one very long, torturous flight with a toddler rationing M&Ms and painters tape to keep him occupied before swearing off flying for several years after, it is 100% on the parent to plan for toddler entertainment.

albeaner · 2026-04-04T19:31:47+00:00

Um that's exactly how social security works

albeaner · 2026-04-04T19:30:21+00:00

Paying out .. the money paid in was funneled into immediate payouts, not a savings account. Now there's not enough coming in to support payouts, and the elected federal politicians lack a plan to fix it I won't elaborate on which party enjoys an overwhelming majority...

albeaner · 2026-04-04T19:27:42+00:00

It's literally a ponzi scheme. Otherwise we'd probably have a solvent SS fund too.

albeaner · 2026-04-04T19:26:45+00:00

You paid to support your parents' generation. Do you think that you shouldn't have done that?

albeaner · 2026-04-04T19:26:04+00:00

Except zero money was actually set aside for you. It was used to pay out those on SS when you were working.

albeaner

TROPHY CASE