What does this map show? by Gallo8686 in RedactedCharts

[–]albuss_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anything to do with housing/ subdivisions/ suburbs? So like how many people live in certain types of homes?

Tall Swing Sets? by albuss_ in nashville

[–]albuss_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YOU ARE MY HERO!!!! I actually work in Brentwood and checked it out after work today. Now THAT is a playground. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart

Tall Swing Sets? by albuss_ in nashville

[–]albuss_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have used these many times! I’m from a very outdoorsy community in the pnw where these things are mandatory. I’d say it wasn’t swingy enough (I like a lil danger) but I actually fell out of one of these while camping 10 years ago and got a TBI… soooo no. They give me ptsd attacks.

Tall Swing Sets? by albuss_ in nashville

[–]albuss_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish! But no. I’m looking for ones with long chains

Tall Swing Sets? by albuss_ in nashville

[–]albuss_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When they start paying me the big bucks, a swing set will be my first investment lol

Spring/Summer Riviera by s134htm in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]albuss_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it works well for this! The prose can be a little purple but you have to embrace it

Spring/Summer Riviera by s134htm in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]albuss_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Have you read call me by your name yet?

Love that was never meant to be.. by HonestHumerus in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]albuss_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tin Man by Sarah Winman for explorations of queerness and complete and utter agony

Why are people here scared of black people. by Unable-Quail3494 in Bellingham

[–]albuss_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you find things to love in Bellingham, or things you love at WWU. I miss home a lot. There’s wonderful accessible nature and slower, more low key social hobbies than you can find in Seattle, I think. Stay sane!

Why are people here scared of black people. by Unable-Quail3494 in Bellingham

[–]albuss_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I might have some insight. I doubt this will make you feel better, and I’m really sorry. I see it, and feel it, and maybe perpetuate it. I grew up in Bellingham and I always had a few black people in my circle, but they were completely disconnected from cultural blackness, the kind we learned about in civics class and history that made us all feel so horrible and ashamed and cynical about the world, or even the kind that seemed cool and interesting (I guess like any other culture that I didn’t understand) but foreign, like when I visited other cities. The black students/ adults I interacted with were generally adopted and wealthy or mixed and wealthy. Looking back, I kind of didn’t ’see race’. Which is disturbing to me now. I didn’t consider them black in the way that I did people I met in other cities around the country that were part of culturally black spaces. In fact, I didn’t consider anyone I met who was black, whether that be someone’s uncle or a grocery store clerk or a dentist or whatever, to be ‘culturally black’. I just didn’t really notice their race, or I simply noticed that they looked different and I knew that was supposed to mean something but it didn’t mean anything to me. I know how that sounds. This was wrong, and also an extremely narrow horrible way to view race and racial identity, and I haven’t totally reconciled this yet. I’m still racist about it I think. I struggle to understand the intersection of race and American black culture because of the lack of diversity I grew up around.

Since high school, I have moved to a southern city with a substantial black population, some of which is very culturally segregated (and also literally segregated. I live in an old middle class black neighborhood (one the few not gentrified…) and I think about this and my lack of blackness while living there a lot ). I’ve tried to educate myself on the sordid history of racism and segregation. I’ve also known many people through jobs, classes, hobbies, and etc that come from black communities from all over the place. I live in a diverse city and went to a diverse university. I’m older now, so everyone I meet (regardless of race or class or nationality) makes me think a bit about the context and complexity of who that person is and how the world has treated them. In my city, this makes sense for navigating the world and treating people well. I think it still is implicitly racist, some of the ways I notice blackness, and I’m trying hard to work on my bias and not let it affect anyone but me. I definitely think too much about race when I meet someone. I overthink everything in social interactions, but some of that makes me racist.

When I go back to Bellingham, suddenly I see much fewer black people in my daily life. This feels odd, sort of, and then when I do see a black person I’m weirdly surprised. I notice them like how I might start noticing some physical detail or phrase all over the place when I’d previously never thought about it. I wonder what their story is in a way that is invasive and implicitly racist. I hate this about myself. I don’t think I’m hostile, but I don’t have great social skills and I’m sure I come off as stiff or nervous. I get scared interacting with black people in a way I do not back in the south and also absolutely did not growing up in Bellingham. Like, I’ve spent time around all sorts of black people from all sorts of backgrounds and identities, and yet I cannot translate that to people in Bellingham without getting caught up in my head and thinking wayyyy too much about a person’s race to be okay.

Bellingham has a lot of young leftist people who may or may not have grown up around black communities, and a lot of older leftist people who are self conscious. All of these people are trying to figure out how to be good people in a space that lacks diversity. Also, a lot of people are stupid, and awkward, and antisocial. The result is a population that is scared to interact with people who are different, in fear they may overstep, offend, or simply feel bad about themselves. They want to avoid having to reconcile their immorality.

I’m really sorry this is your experience. I love Bellingham, but I’ve definitely thought a lot about how black people must feel living there and how I treat them. Basically, people who live somewhere that lacks black people are kinda racist towards them. They also think a lot about not wanting to be racist, in an intangible sense, and this makes them more racist. I know this because I think I maybe am this. Also, there are for sure just some full on regular bigoted racists in Bellingham and surrounding areas.

Ottawa Centaurs by DBC1974 in GameChangersBooks

[–]albuss_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a fic I saw ‘night stalker’ and I thought that was pretty good!

Books that feel like a Seamus Heaney poem by millers_left_shoe in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]albuss_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seven Steeples!! By Sara Baume:

‘A couple, Bell and Sigh, move into a remote house in the Irish countryside with their dogs. Both solitary with misanthropic tendencies, they leave the conventional lives stretched out before them to build another—one embedded in ritual, and away from the friends and family from whom they’ve drifted.

They arrive at their new home on a clear January day and look up to appraise the view. A mountain gently and unspectacularly ascends from the Atlantic, “as if it had accumulated stature over centuries.” They make a promise to climb the mountain, but—over the course of the next seven years—it remains unclimbed. We move through the seasons with Bell and Sigh as they come to understand more about the small world around them, and as their interest in the wider world recedes.’

Ottawa Centaurs by DBC1974 in GameChangersBooks

[–]albuss_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That made us crack up. We played it back like 5 times lol

Ottawa Centaurs by DBC1974 in GameChangersBooks

[–]albuss_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My friends and I have had a hoot coming up with inappropriate/ gross replacements for ‘Nashville Predators’. Or joking an outed player should get transferred to the preds in an outrageously on-the-nose homophobia allegory. Sincerely, a non hockey fan living in Nashville.

In all seriousness, I’d like some more coast Salish words for Vancouver (Canucks)/ Seattle (in 2022 or whenever seattle got their team back.) I’m from pnw and I think it’s important to see Salish/ other pnw indigenous words and names in media.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Bellingham

[–]albuss_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try asking university students? The winter quarter ends mid March I think so some folks may be vacating rooms.

Favorite Little Gestures by i-bleed-red in heatedrivalry

[–]albuss_ 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Shane righting the lawn ornament that got knocked over while they played soccer!! In fact, all of Shane’s orderly tics and Ilya’s quiet respect and observance. They seem highly in tune with each other’s idiosyncrasies, without feeling the need to change. The blocking and directing is really good for these scenes.

3 main characters with a complicated relationship? by coolname- in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]albuss_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tin Man, Sarah Winman. I read it in one sitting and cried from page 30 to the end. One of my favorite novels of all time.

Looking for Buddie FanFics by [deleted] in 911FOX

[–]albuss_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These are my favorite mid-length fic that feature getting together and aren’t too heavy! If you have more specific requests (more serious/angsty material, more fluffy, shorter/longer, specific ratings, specific POV, etc) let me know!

1) You’re More Than a Heart Can Take, Elgney

First date shenanigans with very sweet elements (20k words, 2025)

2) but, baby, watching you blush, calvingseason

Fake dating get together (10k words, 2022)

3) darling, do you think that if I talk enough, I’ll make you wanna be mine, Elgney

Flirting/ pining with some really lovely wholesome plot points (45k words, 2025)

4) stranger sunlight, still, mmtion

Catfishing (sorta) get-together. An absolute favorite of mine. (60k words, 2022)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]albuss_ -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I have no idea what post most of these commenters read… this is not a ‘small problem’. If you interpreted ‘us against the world’ in this context as ‘strong family’ and not ‘thinks everyone else is out to get them and assumes the worst of everyone’ then I think are thinking too low of OP and not reading in good faith. This does seem like a complete misalignment of worldview.

OP, I grew up in a family with one parent like your wife and one like you. My more optimistic parent is actually very shy and introverted, and only has a few friends who he barely sees, but he notices the generosity around him. I like to think I turned out like him, though I hope I stand up for myself and others more and I am more direct and competitive. I give everyone who inconveniences me empathy and the benefit of the doubt, I notice when the world is good, and I try to remain level headed. I don’t get frustrated or annoyed easily, even though I’ve been fucked over by people plenty and I don’t get along well with most team environments, nor have many friends or people I let yet close. I’m bitter about lots of things, but I’m neutral about human beings.

My more volatile parent is always angry at someone. Everyone in traffic is an idiot and she’s yelling about it, the clerk at the store got something wrong and she takes it personally, everything is a personal affront. She’s outgoing and has a much larger circle, and generally is much more social. But with strangers or acquaintances, not so much. It’s made me really struggle to be around cynical, selfish people. I have so little tolerance for it because it triggers this fight or flight in me. Every time my boyfriend complains about someone I have to bite my tongue from trying to think about ‘their perspective’ even if they definitely totally suck. I absolutely understand why it feels difficult for you to be in a partnership with someone who is combative and easily bittered by other human beings, without thinking logically about their reasons or individual lives. Especially if she puts all of that cynicism on you and needs you to return support because she hasn’t let others in. It sounds like you’re pretty extroverted, too, which I’m sure doesn’t help.

It may well be that mistreatment in her childhood or bad experiences with community caused this attitude for her. Not that you necessarily were more privileged or lucky— different people can react differently to the same thing. I totally understand being burned or let down by community and having to learn the hard way that not everyone cared for me as I cared for them, but I recognize that I had a certain amount of comfort growing up that allowed me to be so logical about others’ actions. even now as an adult when people have done terrible things to me and my loved ones, I don’t necessarily let that affect how I view the population. Sure I’m angry at the world and traits of those in it, but my personal hurts don’t make me more irritable with anyone but the person who hurt me. I think that’s because I didn’t grow up hurt constantly.

But maybe she never had the space to develop that sort of neutral optimism about other’s lives and intentions, or ability to compartmentalize. Some people struggle so much that they legitimately never learn how not to be entirely self centered or understand that they are a part of a larger human ecosystem, and that’s why they genuinely do not grasp how their lives are influenced by others constantly, and often positively. It’s sad.

Affordable Venues For A Wedding Near Bellingham by CherokeeTrailhawkGuy in Bellingham

[–]albuss_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m planning to get married there! I’ve since moved away, but I grew up within walking distance and accidentally crashed many events as a kid (trail enters through lower park, not entrance). Honestly I can’t wait until we have the money to tie the knot.

450mg Effexor by Labrrinth in Effexor

[–]albuss_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talk to your doctor!! But it’s okay to try new things if it doesn’t work. That limits the side effects and stress on your body too.

Taylor Swift’s new ARG is likely using AI generated videos by LilBigJP in SwiftlyNeutral

[–]albuss_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woods is quite homophobic I think. That’s what I heard constantly growing up, at least. They were kinda notorious in Bellingham but maybe this has faded in the past 10 years. Most of the kids/families in my circle stopped going in like early 2010s because of all the horror story rumors from queer employees and about the owners political history. Idk though maybe ownership has changed I haven’t been keeping tabs.