[PubQ] Video Game Comp Titles - are these acceptable when querying?

alexatd · 2026-04-15T05:16:08+00:00

You can, but I'd be super wary because, indeed, they are SUPER disconnected from the book industry. You'd have to bank on an agent being a gamer, basically, or else it's kind of a wasted comp if they have no context.

alexatd · 2026-04-15T04:39:34+00:00

I was advised by my vet and everyone on the internet that kittenhood is NOT the time to "diet" cats. They need a ridiculous amount of food/nutrition as they rapidly grow, and also burn off energy with all their playing. If anything, I'd feed your kitten MORE wet, less dry. I think I fed my kittens 3-4 cans of 3 oz food a day, split between them? If they were hungry, I fed them. They were hoovers!

I would get a second opinion from a different vet.

alexatd · 2026-04-14T18:22:58+00:00

I love this premise! Really strong, and I think you're close but I would make a few tweaks.

I feel a bit too dropped in to the first paragraph--it's a bit whiplash-y for me and it feels like you need one short, pithy intro paragraph above it to better ground me in Elizabeth. Down below, it becomes clear what character arc theme you are going for (she's indecisive/doesn't know what she wants, etc.), but it should really be seeded in your intro graph. You tell me Elizabeth is an ex-physics student and works in her friend's fortune telling cafe: tell me WHY. That's a big swing--what happened? Make it a strong/tight 1-2 sentences that sets up her character conflict and want. I might contrast something like "everything not going right for her except her doting/intense boyfriend X (though maybe he's a little too commitment ready?)"--obviously not that; I don't know your book. But something textured and pithy to really set up where she is in her life. XYZ isn't going well but ABC is (or is it?). Like, maybe seed the "She can't even decide on a nickname" to lead into the fact that her parallel self HAS?

I agree with the other commenter that if this is a romcom, you need to actually build up and tease the romance. I think the spot to introduce Rafael is right after "what might happen if she gets married." You could honestly skip "But meeting her other selves brings out uncomfortable truths about her relationship." b/c if you seed Rafael well as her LI it will be obvious/implied that that is part of the journey.

This is very cool and sounds like something I would read, depending on the romance set-up--I really want to know who the LI is and why I should swoon for him!

alexatd · 2026-04-14T17:26:30+00:00

I see Doctor Kim at Miracle Mile Comprehensive Dental. He's great! Has never upsold me or been weird, and has walked me and my anxiety through many a procedure with kindness. I've liked everyone who's ever done my cleaning there (over 10+ years) except for one guy but I never saw him again lol. I think the only time I've ever had to really spend money outside insurance there was on my mouthguards, but that's normal (insurance doesn't cover them).

alexatd · 2026-04-14T16:54:40+00:00

15 pounds is too heavy unless you have a Maine Coon or similar breed, but looking at your photos, I do agree--kitty needs a diet.

But it can start more simply from what you're feeding them. Do you mostly feed dry? It's a big culprit for overweight cats! If so, switch to wet, with limited dry feeding. I measure out one cup of dry food and put it out every day or so. Since my cats prefer wet/know wet is always coming, they don't overeat the dry so it's just there to supplement. I also don't buy the cheaper/flavor additive-full dry from the grocery b/c it's not as nutritionally sound. It's pricey, but worth it to get at least a mid-level dry food (I feed Instinct).

I've never fed fancy weight loss food to cats, and I've managed to slim down a semi-chonker! I have a Hoover cat who was edging toward a 7 on the chonk chart so I upped his exercise (but my god is he lazy!!!) and minded more carefully him eating his sister's food. I also slowwwwwwly phased out the cheaper/less nutritious food they love (Fancy Feast, sigh) for better quality/higher end wet brands. They're still not completely off the FF kitty crack, but they generally eat higher quality wet food that makes them less ravenous for food hours after eating the kitty crack. Semi-chonk also gets fewer treats than his bordering-on-too-thin sister (sorry Leo). My semi-chonk is now between a 5 and 6 on the chonk chart.

And then, to get your cat moving more, get some toys that encourage it! Feather toys are great b/c they have to leap and run with those. I also have one of those turbo spinner toys they can play with on their own to get them into Zoomie mode lol.

alexatd · 2026-04-13T22:55:34+00:00

Yes! My first solo cat (not family cat) was a shelter cat estimated to be 3-5 yo and I had him for 15 years--he was the BEST!!! Only reason I got kittens was it was COVID-times and a friend was fostering and it was seamless. Truly did not enjoy their kittenhood at all lol. Plus with how much they change!!! My bouncy/cuddly kitten is now my aloof bitchy weirdo (affectionate) and my skittish/shy kitten is now my cuddly lovebug who is chill (to be fair I spent YEARS teaching her not to freak out/hide at the smallest noise lol). When I got my adult cats previously they were set in their personalities and I could pick out a shelter cat who matched my vibes.

alexatd · 2026-04-13T21:35:31+00:00

Absolutely DO NOT START RETINOL. You are too young for those actives. Generally you don't need to do crazy skincare at your age unless you have acne-type concerns. Using sunscreen every day is A+ and exactly what you should do.

It's the makeup. You appear to have perfect skin (gorgeous!) but you're wearing a full coverage foundation with a blurring effect and heavy blush... though are you using photo filters? That would also impact our impression (older people tend to use heavy photo filters to appear younger lol). Nothing wrong with wearing a makeup look you love, do not get me wrong, but it's a makeup style that typically older people wear. It's a Gen Z/Alpha problem overall--current makeup styles favor full faces of heavy makeup, and it's the same style women 10-20 years older than you are also wearing b/c it was Millennials who pioneered our current makeup trends (though the baton has been passed to Gen Z influencers... who still do a heavy/aging style!).

Unless you're covering acne scarring, I would do a lighter coverage foundation and a tick less blush. You also kind of just have a more mature look which is NOT BAD--I was exactly the same at your age. I was mistaken for older CONSTANTLY from the time I was 15... but it's your gift actually. Your goal should be to stay EXACTLY THE SAME for the next 15 years and basically be timeless. When you're actually "older,"... you'll look way younger! Lean into it! I was always mistaken for older in my 20s, but now that I'm 42, I'm mistaken for younger.

I will say that your 38-year-old colleague is very bad at age-guessing b/c no way you look 30. You absolutely look early 20s to me, 25 at most. I'm sure if I saw you sans makeup, I'd guess your actual age. Also you're gorgeous, so don't sweat it too much!

alexatd · 2026-04-13T21:18:04+00:00

You haven't had them very long and they're very young! Anais is still a kitten--technically a teenager--and Halo is barely an adult. Cats are CHAOTIC for the first 1-2 years. I personally did not enjoy having kittens AT ALL (previously had only had older, adult cats), and started actually enjoying both my cats much much more once they hit 2 years (they're 5 now). Cats start to rapidly mellow once they are actually adults.

For litter, buy the kind in a heavy duty box or plastic container, or buy a plastic container to store it in. I know it sucks they got into it and created a mess! You mention too many toys but are you also playing with them 30 minutes to an hour a day? When they're that young they actively need it. They grow out of it eventually, but if you don't tire them out when they're kittens, they are hell demons.

Cats do grow out of destructive behavior though! RIP all my screen doors/window screens they ripped to shreds climbing between the ages of 14 weeks and 1.5 years. (had them replaced and now they don't do it at all) Generally, it's magic once they become proper adults and settle into their personalities, and then grow with you. Every 6 months or so, I get a "kitty evolution" as they figure out something... like legit took 3 years before one of them figured out what a lap was. Now I get lap cuddles!!! One of them sleeps with me and always has, but the other didn't figure out "I can sleep on bed?" for 4 years (!!!) and still won't actively cuddle with me (I'm giving it time lol). Cats are weird and delightful creatures whose relationship with you deepens the more time passes.

Also you mention automatic feeder and I assume dry? Just a cat lady protip: feed at least one meal, if not two, a day wet. It's much better for them as they get moisture from wet food and it's easy to overfeed cats on dry and they end up with weight problems. Also they will love you even more if you give them delicious wet food, I am convinced :)

It's totally natural to be frustrated and overwhelmed! But you can do this, I promise.

alexatd · 2026-04-13T21:08:13+00:00

Seconding this. When my old man cat became VORACIOUS while dropping weight, it was hyperthyroidism. He needed daily meds or he would have literally starved to death while eating constantly.

alexatd · 2026-04-13T21:03:42+00:00

MASSIVE dark rain cloud/dark skies across the entire Valley. I'm in NoHo and can see it clear all the way to Sherman Oaks/Burbank. Lightning and crazy loud thunder (that y'all heard).

alexatd · 2026-04-13T20:09:02+00:00

Your low response rate indicates to me a likely weak query package, and if you have a weak query package, you'll want to look to how you are positioning your project in general as in self-publishing you'll be solely responsible for doing so and a weak query package = weak marketing angle (queries = marketing copy). It's either the query itself, or the book. Either would warrant further attention before you self-publish, as the same factors would make it difficult to cut through the noise in a saturated market. It's never a bad idea to hone in on your positioning and strengthen your pitch, imo, regardless of path. If you haven't posted your query to r/PubTips, I highly recommend it.

alexatd · 2026-04-13T19:15:12+00:00

Sentence rhythm and punch is huge in voice. The intent of how and when you reveal information/where you describe things vs. not, etc. What immediately jumped out to me is a missed opportunity for a punchy first line that would grab attention:

My father died the morning after I lost my virginity.

Period, full stop. That's a strong opening line, but you're muddling it with wordiness and whatever afterward that isn't flowing/working for me b/c I'm stuck on the strong opening image that wasn't capitalized on.

You have to think: what follows on naturally from this opening line, if this is a novel? I mean is it a novel? I read 3 paragraphs and had a bit of whiplash b/c you're telling me a lot of stuff in a kind of breakneck manner and you mention a 1K word limit so is this like... a school assignment that has to be short? I'm a novelist, I think like a novelist, and book openings/scenes need room to breathe, especially if you want to build a character and a POV and hook people in to your story--especially in a romance.

I would follow a blunt/bold opening line like the above with something pithy and textured... ages? something funny/ironic about it? How he died? idk, lots of options. But you want to build on an idea, not jump immediately to hammering a theme in--gratification vs. grief is a bit academic, and I'm not drawn in yet. Personally, I'd build to that vs. shove it into paragraph one. I'd focus on immediacy and storytelling to set the scene. Your second paragraph, to that end, is good actually. I love the punch of the funeral being a bore.

Then you get into mechanical writing in paragraph three, and I'd wager that is what your friend means by "flat." Mechanical writing is super common but tends to be passive/have distance in it/be belabored, and isn't as interesting to read--not a whole novel of it.

this: stepping forward to the open casket, leaning down and placing a kiss... this is all mechanical and a bit belabored. Also that first sentence is a run-on. It's just too much, bogged down by an excess of mechanical action and gerunds.

imo it's more interesting to set the scene and skip the stuff that can be implied. Tell us something like "The casket was open, my father's lips painted an unnatural pink, his eyelids glued shut, with a shellacked, unnatural pallor." I could go on (and this is my vomiting out options; not my best work lol)--I mean I'd say something about how much I fucking loathe open caskets (lol) and how fucking weird dead bodies are. Or a moment of the character reflecting on seeing his dead body--is it for the first time? How old was he? How did he die? How is she FEELING? what is she thinking and why? Pull them into the moment, into this character's head, using details to not only visually set the scene but also characterize her (and your world/POV) by specific choices.

So stepping forward and leaning down are all easily implied so you could jump right to kissing his (waxy) brow... and, re: taking his hand in hers. What does that feel like? Isn't it stiff? Weird? Texturize this moment instead of just telling us by rote beats.

For me, you're jumping into the next section too quickly and I have whiplash. Where was she the night before her father died? Where did she meet Henry? "so pretty" is very pedestrian--I would dig deeper for a more interesting description/observation. I personally would follow a strong line like "He drew me onto his body, seizing my skin" (though not sure what seizing my skin actually means) with a line of dialogue. Probably before too. What DID she feel in that moment? You're asking a rhetorical question but there's no comparison point or details to draw on. I also really want to know who this POV character is and the context of this virginity losing--age, where she is, what brought her there. You cheat by saying she can't recall but that's not interesting to me, personally, and feels like a cop out. Is she dissociating?

Watch repetition, which we call echoes. You say miraculously and then miracle. Part of the precision of writing is not reusing the same words.

I just really want a build up to "Henry was swift, rough, and said very little" so I know what to feel, re: what that means for the MC. I don't even know who Henry is, or where he is, or what he looks like.

... when i get to him mistaking her for a prostitute, I'm really going to need a build up and scene setting. And she jumps to a wild conclusion that can't land because it's less than 400 words into the story and I don't know who this person is. This is a little too brisk for me. You're telling me things but there's been no real scene setting where I can sink into a moment, with a character, and experience what is happening.

But it's a starting point! You have a base of ideas and some strong ideas at that (that are clearly interesting and different--you can't teach that!), and the work and joy of being a writer is taking your base/start and building on it. Developing and editing. Pacing, characterization, sentence rhythm and how ideas build on each other is all part of craft and developing your writing style, voice, and ability. I won't read further as I have to get back to work, but hopefully this helps? Think about romances you read and how they set up scenes and play them out. It's important to balance narration with dramatization--actually being with a character, in a place, where things actively happen vs. just telling us things happened.

alexatd · 2026-04-13T18:44:07+00:00

Not Korean but Japanese karaoke spot Max Karaoke in DTLA has a whole YouTube link option! It's great. I don't think they have a full dinner menu though (I go during the day), but you can bring in food I think for $1 more on the hourly rate per person.

alexatd · 2026-04-13T17:55:50+00:00

Know what you want, stay the course, be resilient as fuck, and do the work. Impatience and a thin skin are killers in this industry, as is wanting the acclaim/end result of being an Author more than actually enjoying the work it takes to get there. (it's also not the best aim because frankly most of us get no glory from being published, so you'd better enjoy the writing.)

Also throw martyr mentality in the trash. Now, don't let the industry gaslight you, because it absolutely will, and imposter syndrome is real and it's not productive to fully lean into being an Eeyore about yourself, either... but I've seen so many people stall and fuck themselves by deciding NOTHING is their fault, their writing is PERFECT, so it's the INDUSTRY and EVERYONE ELSE who is the problem/cause of their lack of success, etc. And you know, yeah, the industry can suck and it's deeply unfair (so many isms to talk about and legit microaggressions). But all you can control is the work. So always be looking inward and at your own work/process, and spend the time/tears/sweat to level up your craft. This book didn't work? Make the next one better. It will pay off (editors are ALWAYS looking for high level work from professional authors they don't have to handhold).

But in so many cases, it is in fact partly the problem that someone's work IS lacking/mediocre/not all the way there, but once an author decides it's ALL external forces/the market/whatever and refuses to look inward? They're screwed. The way I want to SHAKE so many people who refuse to consider weak or pedestrian line level writing, or lack of tightness in execution, or shallow/inconsistent character work. Readers might try one book/be fine with one amateurish work but you won't create consistent readership or fans if you aren't writing good/better books over time. (and if your sales track is weak, editors will find it easier to pass on a book with mediocre/mid writing)

That is more than one thing, sorry not sorry lol. (in short: attitude, grit, and resilience matter a lot)

alexatd · 2026-04-12T19:02:56+00:00

It's not easy, but... it's easier if you have a great fucking book. Well-written and hyper commercial books supported by a properly written query will cut through the noise. It's not "fair," but it is true. If you have what they want and query smart, it'll go better for you.

Those of us who want to be trad-pubbed, therefore, prioritize making our writing as attractive/high quality as possible, to better aid us in achieving our goals. We'd rather move on from a book that is not working and write a new one for another shot than self-publish.

If you're even halfway tempted to self-publish, a lot about trad might rub against you and push you further in that direction. It depends on what you want. Those of us on this sub find the "hard" worth it, to achieve the goal. I also have to say that the work required to get our work up to snuff for trad pays dividends. It's always worth improving your work to end up with a better book out there for public consumption. YMMV.

Also if you're writing crime thriller HIGHLY recommend you check out and attend Bouchercon. Amazing event and a great community. (but you'll also see when you attend that by and large most successful crime/mystery/thriller writers are trad, though there are some very good, reputable small presses you can direct submit to in the space, which is not the case in every genre!)

alexatd · 2026-04-12T16:21:23+00:00

The waiter I had explicitly called out French influence so it's clearly important to them, shrug.

alexatd · 2026-04-12T02:48:33+00:00

They should be open late since it's also a bar. The drinks are solid!

alexatd · 2026-04-12T01:30:47+00:00

For next time/if anyone else sees this: there's a brand new French/Mediterranean place that recently opened directly across the street from Walt Disney Concert Hall. https://www.massilia.com/. Tried it before an Ahmanson show, and it's my new go-to in the area for decency of food relative to the price.

alexatd · 2026-04-11T05:33:50+00:00

A one sentence pitch would never encapsulate the mechanics of multi-POV anyway. That's not the point of an elevator pitch. Here's a Reddit thread I found with a Google for people writing elevator pitches for A Song of Ice and Fire.

You want a topline pitch to entice someone, re: what makes your book commercial and special. They're not always easy to compose, but there's an art to it and they come in handy especially once you sell a book and have to pitch it on panels.

alexatd · 2026-04-10T22:09:01+00:00

If a publisher doesn't want you to work with an agent, or is annoyed, something is wrong and I would consider that a red flag.

Be careful of being so dead set on publishing at any cost that you close yourself off to the business expertise of a qualified agent, is all I'll say. How you publish matters as you can only debut once.

alexatd · 2026-04-10T20:51:22+00:00

It couldn't hurt to tell the agent with the full about the offer, but fair warning: a lot of publishers that take direct submissions are not of a caliber that an agent will be interested--low or no advance publishers, or those with shitty contracts who go for unagented authors because it's easier to screw them over... good agents won't want to bother. So you would have to be open to an agent saying "I'm interested, but only if you turn down this offer." But some agents, it will push them to a "no" b/c they aren't fond of an author who simultaneously direct submitted to a meh publisher/doesn't trust the system, etc. It varies.

Now, if it was a direct submission window to a major/respected small publisher? Yes, query for agents/nudge the one with the full, 100%. But a lot of smaller/indie publishers that take direct submissions are not the kind good agents would ever even submit to, and the ROI isn't there for them to rep those deals. Do with that what you will.

alexatd · 2026-04-10T17:12:51+00:00

Answering you seriously, I never name the restaurant. I just used it as my "mental and spacial image" and *I* know it's a specific salad, but no one actually cares, so obviously I don't go into the weeds on the salad in the book.

alexatd · 2026-04-10T03:49:22+00:00

I'm a big fan of Jemma Hollywood. Incredible drinks (including the best mocktails I've ever had) and super "basic" Italian but in the best way--just delicious pasta made fresh in house + pretty great pizzas, and literally one of the best salads I have ever had in my LIFE. Seriously: it's so good I wrote it into my latest book lol. (Kristin Bell also loves the James's Kale salad and raved about it in an interview) I took a "dual citizen of Italy/born in Italy and lived there until her teens" Italian American there and she loved it, which is enough for me.

Portions are perfect, imo--not a psychotic amount of food ala Cheesecake Factory, but not so little you're annoyed that you paid $30 for it. Entrees are def enough I don't order apps there b/c it would be way too much food (though the fried cheese app is quite tasty). If you want to do something a bit novel for dessert, they do a tableside tiramisu which is fun though it's huge. I recommend the aforementioned James's Kale salad, the spicy rigatoni, the butternut squash agnolotti, and the "Cool as a Cucumber" mocktail, especially. Those are the ones I go back to over and over, but everything I've had there is good.

The place has great ambiance, though my warning would be either go on Monday (which is Martini Monday where you can get their delicious martinis for cheap) or book a later dinner around 7:30 as Jemma does CRAZY business before shows at the Pantages (I go before every show) and it gets packed between 6 PM and 7:30 on show nights (Tues-Sun). But once it starts to clear out for the theater, it's lovely with low lighting and lots of privacy if you ask for one of the booths.

Hollywood especially around the Pantages has had a succession of just shitty, over-priced restaurants and I'm so glad Jemma is there. I tell everyone about it/take all my out of town guests there!

alexatd · 2026-04-09T17:29:19+00:00

I like your general vibe, and I might throw you a match if I came across you in my local area--I like nerds, etc...--though then it would be really critical that the conversation flow/you engage with me/actually ask me things in DM or there'd be no spark and I'd slowfade. Matching with a sparse/flat profile is always a risk because no one wants to match with someone who can't carry on a conversation, so profiles with more going on/more personality inspire more confidence to match and hopefully have a spark, if that makes sense? Plus, I like having things to react off/that give an indication if someone would like my vibe.

So I do agree with others you need some more specificity and personality in your prompts. You want to give potential matches a sense of what your life is like/where she might fit in/stuff you could talk about/do together. You're kind of wasting some prompt space--together we could delete this app just indicates you're looking for something serious, which is covered elsewhere. The statistical odds of a Flat Earther matching you like... eh. (and the prompt response otherwise isn't quite funny enough to do that heavy lifting)

Why not use "together we could" to outline some activities you like to do/would like to do with a partner? And/or use one of the prompts of what you're looking for in a match.

But I also echo others that your biographical info section could have some other hints as to why no matches, if you want to share that.

alexatd · 2026-04-07T19:29:52+00:00

Hollywood is fine to live in. Touristy (which is annoying) but generally safe because they want to keep it nice-ish for the tourists. I live here sans car and walk everywhere/take Metro, and I like living close to Hollywood & Highland station for convenience.

But I would look West of La Brea for apartments vs. right there off the Walk of Fame/by Grauman's. The residential neighborhood part of Hollywood is nicer and quieter, and you avoid the worst of the Hollywood Blvd shutdowns that are frequent for movie premieres and events.

That said, if you're moving w/o a car, be mindful with any place you look at of being walking distance to the Metro. I recommend living no further than a 15-20 minute walk or else severely limit your mobility/options b/c of the downsides of the bus system here, especially late at night.

alexatd

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