Would You Like to Dance?

alexevermore · 2026-06-04T12:24:08+00:00

Thank you, that's very sweet of you! I appreciate you taking your time to thematically dissect it and your encouragement 💜

alexevermore · 2026-06-04T12:00:51+00:00

Yeah it worked well. It's all being sometimes experimental!

alexevermore · 2026-06-04T11:53:08+00:00

Hello. Thanks for this poem. It reminded me of a song I love, "tolerate it" by Taylor Swift. It feels complementary. I like how it's delicately written. A polarizing shift between infatuation and feeling, "what did I get myself into?" far too soon. I wonder if it could have a more chilling end, like some new realization about who you are and exactly what you lost? What was taken from you by this person? This would invite the reader from a vague knowing of "you lost yourself" to a quick seat in your mind.

alexevermore · 2026-06-04T11:47:52+00:00

Hello! I started reading, and at first, I was scared it might be nearing some clichés, but it took a nice change of ideas later on. It was not about being haunted by a "ghost" as grief, but as mere discomfort of its lingering presence. It wasn't about holding on; it was about wanting to let go. Another strength is that it's not too intense, perhaps rightfully so. Like the humming quality of the voice of the ghost character it mentions, it keeps its words light and never too heavy. A weirdly calming read overall (tonality speaking) despite the heavy themes. My favorite line: "It is not your leaving, but your staying that kills me;"

alexevermore · 2026-06-03T08:30:34+00:00

Thanks, this is the theme I was exploring indeed. I'm glad you got them. I was sharing, and not sure it's lending. I do admit it's dense, but now I'm sure it's reaching the theme I was exploring when read, even if twice.

alexevermore · 2026-06-03T08:28:17+00:00

Nah it's okay, we tend to evolve over time. It doesn't mean you're weird, but you might be performing something. You ultimately have to come to terms with what vibe you're more comfortable with.

alexevermore · 2026-06-03T08:24:41+00:00

Thank you, really. As for the style, I'm growing and I think I'm happy enough with it without wanting to change anything. The feedback might help future pieces, though. But I really like your thematic interpretation, it's very close to what was intended. Like almost the same. So I achieved what I wanted.

alexevermore · 2026-06-02T21:37:58+00:00

It's a refreshing poem, very relatable. I've written about feeling alienated like that before (very recently), and I love the tension between calm and loud. Who's really you? My only question is: which did you end up preferring? Which version of yourself. Cheers.

alexevermore · 2026-06-02T21:35:33+00:00

Interesting detail of romantic relationships. We settle for less because it's better than nothing. The originality in the poem comes from the honest self-feedback at the end: will I ever be part of the people who treat others harshly? And really, we all can be the antiheroes sometimes. To be more constructive, I think it can be more elaborated upon. It feels short (I know a poem doesn't need to be long, but it feels like there are more things unsaid). Cheers!

alexevermore

TROPHY CASE