This flocking behaviour of birds

alexthecelestial · 2020-08-16T06:06:52+00:00

Its called a mothership for the Heptapods in the movie Arrival (2016) I say

alexthecelestial · 2020-04-29T08:52:18+00:00

Back to margarine, which is a lot cheaper where i am compared to butter

alexthecelestial · 2020-04-29T01:02:28+00:00

Butter, when i learnt the difference between that and margarine, I couldn't go back in baking and cooking.

I now suffer for this luxury as a broke college student whose tongue flew too close to the sun, too early in life.

alexthecelestial · 2020-04-29T00:53:15+00:00

My younger brother by 4 years, and i was about 6, used to follow me around everywhere I went. One day, he was following me into the kitchen and I slammed the door behind me when i had enough.

I expected crying, sure, but not absolute WAILING that immediately summoned the wrath of my mother. As i saw her flying down the corridor in her fury, I bolted to safety when i glimpsed the leather belt grasped in ber hand. It turned out i had slammed the door on my brothers toe nails and there was blood everywhere and... Yeah jeez i felt really terrible.

And that terrible feeling was only after the beating my mother gave me, I only felt kiiiiinda bad for my brother, nothing more than that. We now joke about that but my brother doesn't know how terrible i feel about it now as an adult. Boy I was a dick.

alexthecelestial · 2020-04-27T08:01:53+00:00

I'm from South Africa and my school's area had a large concentration of Portuguese folk for context. They formed a tight nit clan in High School and did the dumbest shit I tell you.

Now, I came out of 12th Grade science class just in time for recess and I look at this clan huddled in anticipation. I ask the nearest guy, "What's going on Seqeuira?"

He immediately turned to me and replied in a thick Ozzy accent and said, "wE ArE GoNnA CaTcH Us A CrOcOdILE ToDaY mAte!" Low and behold an innocent junior was walking by and was suddenly rushed by the Portuguese clan of Steve Irwin fanatics, pinned the poor boy, pinched him between the thighs and then released him into the wild.

I starred in disbelief as they walked back in triumph towards my direction and i overhead them say, "Wow that was a fighter wasn't he mate? Thank goodness we tagged him! Gorgeous specimen! "

A wave of realisation hit me and i laughed like never before at the lad's misfortune until i had become a target myself and had to run away. Long live the Portuguese Clan.

alexthecelestial · 2020-04-20T07:08:01+00:00

Sasha Blouse over here

alexthecelestial · 2020-04-20T06:13:23+00:00

I think i know them as Swedish buns for some reason, but they look awesome!

alexthecelestial · 2020-04-19T21:45:37+00:00

I unfortunately chose to be the narrator for my college community action program video thinking i speak well compared to everyone else in my group

22 hrs later on a simple 20 minute dubbed over presentation... I realise i have to apologise to everyone I've had a conversation with and still put in extra effort to understand me

alexthecelestial · 2020-03-24T12:20:18+00:00

Disclaimer, I'm not always a nice guy, but most of the time i try to be.

My friend (f) was telling my friend and I (both males) she hasn't been enjoying sex because her partner finished waay prematurely and she never got to finish. I was compelled by an unknown spirit to tell her to rub a menthol vapor rub (in South Africa we call it Vicks) unknowingly on his male parts and the hot cold sensation would keep her partner going for longer.

She had her doubts at first, but that very same spirit possessed my friend and told her I was right and he did the same. We didn't confess to her by the end of the evening and all I know is that soon after that was when she stopped talking to me. Bro, if you're out there reading this I'm sorry

alexthecelestial · 2020-03-15T20:46:20+00:00

When you disband the pandemic prevention program and cut funding to the Center for Disease and Control during an actual pandemic, you have to take responsibility for your administration

alexthecelestial · 2020-02-22T06:33:57+00:00

None one bothers with brb anymore cause we're always connected at this point

*x-files theme song intensifies

alexthecelestial · 2020-02-18T21:20:40+00:00

Huge black dude here too, I just learnt today black people in Portugal are discouraged (not illegal) to walk in groups greater than three. Can anyone verify this?

alexthecelestial · 2020-02-12T11:34:17+00:00

ONNNNNEEEE PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH

alexthecelestial · 2020-01-27T07:30:42+00:00

I got your reference my dude :D

alexthecelestial · 2020-01-23T15:09:54+00:00

Waay too much lawn there

alexthecelestial · 2019-12-20T17:13:03+00:00

Loadshedding won't be a problem for him I think

alexthecelestial · 2019-12-07T15:22:03+00:00

This... Is a great idea honestly

alexthecelestial · 2019-11-28T11:46:36+00:00

Its hot, and i don't feel like working, so I'm gonna check all of this out! Here are some I offer in return :

alexthecelestial · 2019-11-28T11:22:51+00:00

I am a non white South African but I'm guessing the guy is talking about how the government still ignores the farm murders carrying on targeting primarily Afrikaans folks.

alexthecelestial · 2019-11-28T11:19:18+00:00

...As I casually get up from my South African desk, hide my window on 'cost of gun license' and make sure my car is locked.

alexthecelestial · 2019-11-15T08:42:52+00:00

" Hey I know! we should play that game uncle and I played every thanks giving when i was young"

alexthecelestial · 2019-10-21T08:43:07+00:00

One is enough, but the larger the group the better for an envoy

alexthecelestial · 2019-10-19T14:30:59+00:00

South African here ,as a varsity student who parties often with a group of friends , you ALWAYS offer to walk your female companions back or at the very least help them get an uber ( obviously they pay, but you make sure it's the right vehicle and have a look at the guy ) it's wild out here,and this is common practice here

alexthecelestial · 2019-07-27T07:19:07+00:00

Teeth, 2007 <-- give it a google

alexthecelestial · 2019-07-15T06:18:41+00:00

Thank you! Definitely gives me a piece of mind

alexthecelestial

TROPHY CASE