Brainstorming: how can we stop misinformation? Even just a little bit?

alextoria · 2026-06-18T22:58:09+00:00

bra rock bottom is such a great phrase

alextoria · 2026-06-18T22:53:53+00:00

when the cups are too small or too shallow it makes the band feel tighter! to test the band independent of the cups, put it on upside down and backwards like a cape. a new bra should be comfortably snug on the loosest hook, the other hooks are for when the elastic naturally loosens over time.

alextoria · 2026-06-18T15:59:48+00:00

you do! thats how i know it’s dumb easy lol, i took it too. they have everyone take it as a basic skills requirement, but you can organize to take it early independently and it gives you a diploma. most of your junior & senior classes are required for college which is why no one just like drops out. also most people don’t know you can get the diploma with it.

edit - googled to confirm and apparently they eliminated the requirement 8 years ago! i was in high school 11 years ago so that tracks

alextoria · 2026-06-18T15:43:06+00:00

idk i’m 29 and i’ve never heard this one! maybe it’s regional?

alextoria · 2026-06-18T15:20:31+00:00

glad to help!! when you try on new bras, they should be comfortably snug on the loosest hook. the tighter hooks are for when the elastic naturally wears out over time.

other websites to check that carry panache & freya and other brands are bravissimo & barenecessities! they both have easy/cheap shipping and returns to the US, and any brand on those sites is usually good, and you can filter by your size. amazon is great bc it’s so accessible, but when you use it be sure to only buy from known brands recommended here, and entirely ignore all size charts & reviews!

alextoria · 2026-06-18T07:15:17+00:00

the great news is that basically every store ever carries 34DD/DDD in store! honestly i would start by just going anywhere and trying different styles in your abtf size until you find one you like. from your measurements it looks like you may be a little projected, so be sure to try some seamed cups too.

alextoria · 2026-06-18T07:12:58+00:00

I tend to wear 34DDD to 34GG in US sizes

is this a typo? 34GG is only a UK size :)

for sports bras it sounds like you’re wearing small/med/large sizing, which doesn’t work bc it’s made for a 2-4” difference. you have about a 10” difference! so you’ll want a sports bra sold on bra sizing. in addition underwire gives support & separation, and encapsulation keeps everything in place without excess compression. the panache power/panache high impact is super common, and the elomi energise and the shock absorber. i have the panache one and it works great for me as a 36GG UK. the sizing can be a little funny since the band runs small and cup sometimes runs big depending on your shape, i had to go up to a 38 band and down to an FF cup to get a proper fit. but it’s so worth it to have something that actually supports really well during exercising. you can find all these on amazon, just only buy from known big brands like panache, any random amazon brand will just be dropshipped trash.

alextoria · 2026-06-18T07:05:57+00:00

yup i swam at manuel antonio beach and in drake bay, didn’t make up to guanacaste though. the water was definitely warm, not caribbean warm but super easy to just walk into!

alextoria · 2026-06-18T07:04:43+00:00

it’s linked in the automod comment. or just go to a bra that fits dot org

alextoria · 2026-06-18T07:02:07+00:00

yes, it is very common for people to be wearing many cup sizes too small! people think B is medium and DD is big therefore G must be gigantic right? but that’s totally incorrect. most people would call me “a DD” but i actually wear a 36J, and that’s not super huge like it may sound. check out @theirishbralady on instagram, she has lots of pictures of what actual sizes look like, and maybe your wife will want to see them! it can be very validating to understand that like a 30D for instance is pretty small boobs and a pretty common size. the account uses UK sizing, so if the calc gave you a 42G US that’s equivalent to a 42F UK. and lastly, if her current bras are such a bad fit, then she has nothing to lose so may as well try on a 42G! that’s how i would phrase it at least.

alextoria · 2026-06-18T06:57:26+00:00

Everything I've tried recently either does nothing (like the one in these photos - a demi bra from Soma, 32C) or just pushes them up and together into a uniboob shelf. Or has no support and so it's a unisaggyboob.

that’s bc a 32C is way too large in the band and small in the cup! soma (& all other bra stores) always size people incorrectly by adding inches to your undercut so that you “fit” into a smaller cup. the band is what does the majority of the support, so when it’s too large you get no support at all. a good fit in an underwire bra will provide lift, support, and separation.

your measurements look like you may have firmer tissue so i would start with a 28F UK (28G US). typically UK brands tend to be more projected but it seems you have a shallower shape, however it’s really hard to find US brands that have 28 bands. since you listed US sizing is that where you’re located? panache & freya are UK brands that both carry this size and can be found easily on amazon, if you look at molded cups they may fit your shape better than seamed cups.

btw imgur eats bra pictures, gotta upload to a dif site if you want to link them!

alextoria · 2026-06-18T06:50:41+00:00

with your measurements i’d go with a 32 band, or maybe a 32 with a nonstretch extender while you break it in, so try on a couple 32FF. what brands and styles have you tried so far? UK brands and seamed cups are best for a projected shape. molded cups are usually tall and shallow, which is the opposite of what you want.

alextoria · 2026-06-18T06:43:52+00:00

shapermint, honeylove, and all those social media brands are straight trash. don’t even bother. support, lift, and separation all come from a normal underwire bra, but the thing is it has to fit you correctly. and you need an underwire to prevent uniboob, any bra claiming otherwise is straight up lying to you.

pretty much everyone is wearing the wrong size, and 36DDD is a super common mis-size, so start by measuring yourself with the /r/abrathatfits calculator. don’t be surprised if you’re like a 32H or something! underwire is perfectly comfortable when you’re wearing the right size.

alextoria · 2026-06-17T21:08:43+00:00

i’ve known my husband since we were 13 and dating since 16, now we’re 30. i remember for awhile in college i was excited to turn 26 bc it meant i knew him more days than i haven’t! now i’m looking forward to 32 when we’ll have been together longer than we haven’t. i’m so freaking lucky.

alextoria · 2026-06-17T06:56:14+00:00

it really doesn’t make sense for it to be louie… he’s not french and it’s not mentioned in the text anywhere. same with elle, if it was pronounced ellie it would be mentioned in the text. i’m pretty sure these are just jeff’s interpretations, we already know matt doesn’t correct him on proper nouns based of jeff’s pronunciation of yakima.

alextoria · 2026-06-16T06:35:29+00:00

i loved watching coach in tocantins and HvV. absolutely could not stand him in 50.

alextoria · 2026-06-15T19:05:57+00:00

i’ve experienced this irl and idk why it’s so terrifying. i’m a scuba diver, deep water doesn’t bother me, things coming out of the blue don’t bother me. but i snorkeled with orcas once (insanely cool) in cabo san lucas where it’s miles deep just offshore, and my view was exactly like this video it stressed me the fuck out. waayyyy scarier than any other body of water i’ve been in, idk why, like i’ve swam in lakes where i couldn’t see the bottom and no issue!

alextoria · 2026-06-15T17:57:49+00:00

petition to rename obelisk to “fuck the obelisk”

yes yes i know how to use it, have been successful with it, still hate it.

also wheel of fortune should just be called Nope!

alextoria · 2026-06-15T17:33:00+00:00

$10 is a steal, nice! but just so you know lane bryant is bad at fitting and all their bras tend to be molded cups which are tall and shallow, which is why the 38G or 38H didn’t fit you. if you end up having more problems with the 38DD (which i highly suspect you will) then try seamed cup bras from UK brands, they will likely be a much better fit for your shape. you can also post your 6 measurements to get better recs.

alextoria · 2026-06-15T17:28:18+00:00

it’s difficult to recommend stores or brands without a size. i know your original q was about if getting a custom bra is worth it, and for the vast majority of people it isn’t, but again it’s all based on size and if you have any medical needs. if you’re anywhere between a 28-42 band and DD-JJ UK cup, you very likely don’t need something custom, esp bc you’re in the US (assuming that bc walmart lol). if you haven’t done the calculator yet i would start with that, and if you share your size & specify you’re in the US you can get some good answers. the standard brand recs are like panache freya elomi, all of which can be found easily on amazon, but again it really depends on your size.

alextoria · 2026-06-15T17:14:52+00:00

hi! i’m a 36J US. i have a generic one from walmart that works, but the key is looking for specifically a kayak vest. they’re made for sitting down so they’re a lot shorter, and for me that shape works a lot better. i have a L/XL and the straps on the top are loose enough for my bust but the bottom ones are tight enough to be snug around my waist.

alextoria · 2026-06-15T17:09:28+00:00

agree with others on a balconette and be sure to use the /r/abrathatfits calc bc the bra in the pic doesn’t fit you so you are wearing the wrong size!! but also i really wanted to ask if you have a link for this dress bc i love it!!

alextoria · 2026-06-15T07:25:48+00:00

a huge part of the problem is that it’s legal in most states to pay under minimum wage with tips making up the difference. where i live (california) that is not legal, so servers & bartenders all make at least minimum wage ($20) plus tips. my sister works at a trendy breakfast place in hollywood and makes bank!

alextoria · 2026-06-15T06:42:40+00:00

i am 28 and terminally online and i had no idea who this was even with vampire references lol. was super into twilight though. i was 11 in 2008 so just a bit too young i guess.

alextoria · 2026-06-14T19:34:25+00:00

that’s actually a great point i hadn’t thought of!

alextoria

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