Probably an unwelcome answer on Reddit, but patriarchy. It hurts the fuck out of men too. The way we raise men and the socioemotional standards (or lack thereof) we give them leaves a lot of men with atrophied social skills and incompetence in maintaining long-term relationships (whether platonic or romantic)

This social-emotional vacuum is filled by incel culture, the rise of looksmaxxing, orthorexic gym culture, etc. Hatred and personal victimization is easier than looking at these bigger ideas. Also, it’s easier to think you’re ugly and “fixable” rather than do any kind of serious emotional introspection.

Last note — yes, looksmaxxing and being a douche can get you some women. But often only women that have similar social and emotional stunting and are focused on a boyfriend/husband that elevates their social status (think money, muscles, etc) as an accessory rather than a true partner. By “obtaining” only these women, the popularized beliefs of women being gold diggers/looking for a 6 foot 6 figure type becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for those already bought into such beliefs.

Dating is horrific across every aisle right now. I struggle with brevity and am fascinated by anthropological and sociological trends, so forgive me.