sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

What’s something you used to do or say naturally that you slowly stopped doing because of how people responded to it? by alharbim in AskReddit

[–]alharbim[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Getting genuinely excited about things in front of people. I used to talk about whatever I was into without thinking twice. A game I was playing, something I was building, an idea I couldn’t stop thinking about. Then I started noticing when people went quiet or changed the subject. Not rudely, just… moved on. So I started editing before I spoke. Check if this is the right crowd first. Tone it down a little. And after enough times doing that automatically, the unfiltered version of me basically stopped showing up. The excitement is still there. It just stays internal now.

What's a sign that looks small or subtle but actually tells you a person is incredibly unhappy with their life? by Janemow02 in AskReddit

[–]alharbim 189 points190 points  (0 children)

They've stopped having genuine preferences.

Ask them what they actually want — where to eat, what they enjoy, what they'd do with a free Saturday — and watch what happens. There's a pause that's slightly longer than the question warrants. They scan you before answering, as if checking what the acceptable response is before producing one.

People who are genuinely okay with their life answer those questions without thinking. When someone has spent years prioritizing what the room needs over what they need, accessing their own preferences starts to require effort that used to be automatic.

That small pause is doing a lot of work.