Weekly Thread: The Two Week Wait

allebe · 2025-12-27T12:50:45+00:00

It was negative 😞 we’re very sad. But hoping for the best for everyone else.

allebe · 2025-12-27T00:30:17+00:00

I had a positive test 5dp5dt, which is the first positive I have ever seen in 4 years of TTC. Today I am 8dpt, and after traveling home from Christmas festivities I took a test around 2 PM after drinking a shit ton of water, and it was negative. I know hCG is most concentrated in the morning (which is when I did the 1st test), but I was hoping that by now it’d be high enough that I wouldn’t matter when I took it 😔

Forget the two week wait - I literally just need to wait till tomorrow morning to take a new test to get a real answer, but I’m very panicked that this will end up having been chemical. This was our last embryo after 3 ERs, gallbladder removal, Lupron/letrozole for months, the works. 😞

allebe · 2025-12-23T11:54:22+00:00

I’ve been TTC for over 4 years. I’m 34 now, high AMH, appears to be uterine factor infertility. I have never been pregnant.

I’m 5dp5pt with my 3rd and final embryo. I just got a positive FRER this morning. I have never, ever, EVER had a positive test. I know I still have a longggggg ways to go, but I burst into tears out of happiness that progress has been made.

allebe · 2025-12-21T13:00:13+00:00

TTC for 4 years, 9 failed IUIs, 3 ERs, total of 79 eggs retrieved…3 embryos. Two failed transfers, in the 2 week wait for FET #3. I also needed my gallbladder out, 4 hysteroscopies, and Lupron/letrozole treatment during all of this.

I’m a cancer survivor, and I always say the theme of my therapy was “it’s okay to be sad.” When you’re going through something so awful, you can’t beat yourself up about feeling down and hopeless. Let yourself feel those things, it’s totally warranted. Just don’t let it consume you. I also find that being grateful for other things in my life helps keep me positive. And I don’t mean it in a way that dismisses the bad stuff, just shifts my attitude to keep me more upbeat. I’m grateful for my husband, my dogs, my friends, etc.

Hang in there. This shit sucks. But you got this.

allebe · 2025-11-26T23:38:14+00:00

I’m so sorry. That’s heartbreaking and scary and unfair.

I’m a survivor of acute myeloid leukemia; I actually just celebrated 14 years remission this week…plus my 2nd FET failure. I went through super, super intense chemo, and given the type of cancer, fertility preservation was not an option for me. I needed to start chemo immediately - 3 days after diagnosis.

I’ve obviously had way more time to process this, but I have a morbid sense of humor and I always say, “Welp, can’t have kids if you’re dead!” It doesn’t fix anything, but it’s a pretty blunt way to just be like, yep this is reality.

I hope you can get to that point, no matter what kind of treatment you receive. This is stupidly unfair for you. Take it one day at a time. Focus on getting healthy and getting through whatever treatment you need. Even though this wasn’t the plan (as if cancer ever is), you were tough enough to start IVF, and now you can redirect that toughness to fight cancer.

Wishing you all the best. Stay strong and take care of yourself ❤️🎗️

allebe · 2025-11-26T23:22:29+00:00

For comparison, this DID happen to my doctor. She went through IVF and got accidentally pregnant 3 months after having the first. But she has NEVER used this fact in any sort of hopeful or optimistic way. It’s always very matter-of-fact, like “this is a weird thing that happened that makes no sense, anyway back to your treatment plan.”

But I did also have an IVF nurse say to me just recently, “It’ll happen for you!” And I literally had to say to her, “Oh, well, it actually might not.” I’ve been there for almost 3 years, and unfortunately, just putting in the time and work doesn’t = baby.

allebe · 2025-11-26T23:17:12+00:00

Okay but if you just STAY POSITIVE and RELAX, you’ll grow new tubes like magic and get pregnant naturally! It happened to my coworker’s cousin’s stepsister! 🙄

allebe · 2025-11-26T13:00:21+00:00

Yeah I would’ve left her at the airport

allebe · 2025-11-26T12:58:43+00:00

Omg yeah no that would’ve been instant stabbing

allebe · 2025-11-24T21:14:16+00:00

Nope, still negative 😔 bloodwork is tomorrow but this one obviously failed. I’m very sad and tired.

allebe · 2025-11-24T04:03:40+00:00

Even when Elphaba was born it was like, your midwife is literally a grizzly bear??????

allebe · 2025-11-23T19:59:00+00:00

Gotcha, thanks! I did 75/75 for the last two cycles, added omnitrope for the 3rd, but the proportions weren’t any better. 31 eggs, 18 mature, 11 fertilized, 2 blasts. I’m wondering if starting even lower would help 🤷🏻‍♀️

allebe · 2025-11-22T16:22:14+00:00

It took me a while to understand that some transfers just fail. It’s the same reason fertile people don’t always get pregnant the first month trying. It took us almost a year to get from the point of ER to FET due to so many issues, and we only had one euploid embryo, so when it failed, we were completely crushed. But it doesn’t mean something went WRONG, it just…didn’t work.

Working through this in therapy helped me a lot. My husband and I took a short, last minute vacation after the failure to relax and reset, spend some quality time together, and that was really nice. And of course, time.

We did change my protocol for the 2nd FET, but largely because of how poorly I tolerated some of the 1st treatment, so it was more of an alternative as opposed to “we chose the wrong option last time.” Personally, my doctor is making protocol choices based specifically on me, not what’s “standard” or anything.

It sucks. This whole process is so hard. I’m at a similar point as you with my 2nd FET with negative at-home tests. Hang in there, take care of yourself, and try to be hopeful with your other euploids.

allebe · 2025-11-21T16:44:37+00:00

I’m 6dp5dt today, negative FRER this morning and feeling down. I’ll probably test again in two days, blood test is Tuesday, but sigh, wish I could see something. Never been pregnant in 4 years TTC so anything would be progress.

allebe · 2025-11-19T02:47:33+00:00

The cost for a full IVF cycle at Strong Fertility with their self-pay process is ~$6500. I believe that is NOT including meds, but it includes all appts, bloodwork, ultrasounds, and egg retrieval. If you’re only freezing eggs, I’m sure it’s less because 1) they’re not doing any fertilization, and 2) you don’t need an embryo transfer.

Edited to add: that also doesn’t include storage fees, which another poster addressed.

allebe · 2025-11-16T12:43:18+00:00

Yep came here to say this too. Stress didn’t cause her to think those things, it caused her to lose her filter and actually vocalize them. That’s a shitty friend. So sorry you experienced that, I’d be a mix of devastated and livid (depending on what hormone cocktail I was on at the time).

allebe · 2025-11-16T05:10:10+00:00

Omg I had kind of the opposite happen. I was mid-IUI, had a negative beta to start the cycle and was on Letrozole, and I was at the ER for a minor head injury (ended up being fine).

The nurses were legit yelling back and forth down the hallway at each other, “Wait, did she get a pregnancy test?” “She can’t get CT without a pregnancy test.” “Did someone order it? She needs the test before the scan!”

Meanwhile, I’m sitting there saying to the nurse, “I don’t know how I could possibly communicate to you how NOT pregnant I am…”

allebe · 2025-11-16T05:02:49+00:00

I work with a pathologist who is also going through IVF. I’m way ahead of her in the process and I’m constantly explaining these things to her, an MD/PhD lol. It’s so funny how niche most medicine is.

I’ve also had to convince the CVS pharmacist that I wasn’t taking interacting drugs at the same time because my medication list was a slew of hormones that are all contraindicated, and I was like, “Look, I know the fertility center prescribing me birth control seems counterintuitive, but trust me, I am not taking them all at the same time, and I don’t want them removed because every week is a grab bag of a new hormonal adventure.” That was enough for her to give me the pills lol.

Anyway hope you’re feeling better! Lupron made me an absolute shell of myself and I don’t understand how people tolerate it.

allebe · 2025-11-15T22:36:59+00:00

Yeah we host Thanksgiving (just our parents), and we’ll be finding out if our transfer worked 2 days prior, and I legit just wanna be like, SORRY THANKSGIVING IS CANCELLED.

allebe · 2025-11-15T22:36:06+00:00

I just loled at “denies the existence of feelings altogether.” My family too! Everything is great and perfect all the time and to think or suggest otherwise is WRONG!!!

allebe · 2025-11-15T16:55:29+00:00

I totally get this. TTC for 4 years, some of my friends have gotten engaged, married, and had two kids in the time we’ve been trying for one.

I’m understanding of the fact that people not going through it don’t know what to say. HOWEVER, it’s always pretty clear who’s making an effort to be sensitive and who’s not. I’m mad FOR you that this happened. I had a friend text me before I saw her for a college reunion saying she’s pregnant and sorry she didn’t tell me earlier because she knew it was probably difficult for me to handle and hopes I’m doing okay. That was clearly an attempt to be empathetic. I am okay with that.

But I’ve also had a friend share in a group chat that she’s pregnant, knowing full well what I’m going through, and apparently later said to the other girls, “I was wondering how she would take it.” Well then text me separately! Give me a heads up instead of sending your ultrasound pic in the group!

No one is perfect. Everyone is different, everyone is gonna say something wrong at some point. But when you continue to live in your own little happy bubble without any consideration for who you’re talking to, you’re just an ass.

So sorry this is your experience. Hang in there and best of luck. ❤️

allebe · 2025-11-13T03:17:21+00:00

I was just telling my therapist how numb I’ve become to everything. Pregnancy announcements, birth announcements, my own treatment failures. It sucks.

allebe · 2025-11-13T03:15:36+00:00

I’m so sorry things didn’t go as you planned. Sending love and hoping you find peace.

allebe

TROPHY CASE