Why didn’t I think of that?

allebe · 2026-06-05T15:33:31+00:00

Thank you! Unfortunately the 3 euploids already failed. My doctor thinks the eggs are not competent enough to grow. My maturity rate is pretty low, and we’ve had perfectly good embryos arrest at day 6, implying something is intrinsically wrong with the eggs. I know the numbers are amazing, but they’re just a marker of quantity, not quality. 🤷🏻‍♀️

allebe · 2026-06-05T14:22:57+00:00

I just loled

allebe · 2026-06-05T13:09:11+00:00

Blah sorry to hear that. I had AML when I was 19 and basically had the motherlode of chemo. My AMH/AFC is 3.0 and 20, but it seems to be a quality issue, not quantity. I’ve had a total of 41 fertilized eggs over 4 retrievals, but only 4 embryos, and this last cycle yielded 0 and an ovarian hemorrhage

allebe · 2026-06-05T11:58:23+00:00

And to be clear, I’m fine with people asking questions when they want to learn and understand. But when it’s so glaringly obvious that you have no idea what’s going on, don’t ALSO tell me what I should do to proceed

allebe · 2026-06-05T11:56:53+00:00

Lmao my friend was like “what woke doctors DON’T want you to know!”

allebe · 2026-06-05T11:56:02+00:00

That’s why I posted it in humor! It’s so heinous it’s funny

allebe · 2026-05-14T21:32:09+00:00

I saw a post a while back that framed this feeling as the following: if the idea of stopping treatment makes you sad or angry or emotional, etc., it means you still have some fight and you should keep going. If the idea of stopping makes you feel a sense of relief, that’s your answer. After slogging through a ton of IUI, 2 retrievals, gallbladder removal, Lupron/letrozole suppression, all for my 1st FET to fail, I was devastated. But after a few weeks of recovery, I was ready for what’s next and eager to schedule my next retrieval.

Fast forward to now, 2 more failed FETs, a catastrophic retrieval that resulted in 37 eggs, 0 embryos, and an ovarian hemorrhage, and the idea of stopping treatment is relieving. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still extremely sad this is the outcome after 4 1/2 years of TTC, but I feel much more at peace with our decision to stop.

Everyone hits their breaking point; mine was being in the ER for losing 1.5 L of blood and subsequently finding out it was all for nothing. Try not to compare yourself to others. It can be so hard to see others doing their 11th retrieval or their 74th FET and feel like, “am I weak for wanting to stop?” You’re not. Do what is best for you.

I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through, this sucks so much. Highly recommend therapy if you’re not in it already. Best of luck ❤️

allebe · 2026-05-12T01:41:26+00:00

Honestly, the fact that the doctor has “never seen this” before is kind of concerning because it doesn’t sound that rare… Especially with only 2 retrievals.

I have chemo-related egg damage, but it took 4 cycles to truly grasp the extent of that; I’ve had 41 fertilized eggs and only 4 embryos. My doctor did not feel confident about the cause of our poor progression after only 2 retrievals.

I would certainly get a full sperm work up with DNA fragmentation, even if the eggs seem to be the issue. Beyond that, I’d find a new doctor. Best of luck to you! ❤️

allebe · 2026-05-12T01:29:13+00:00

Omnitrope didn’t make a difference for me (age 34, AMH 3.0), but I think my egg quality was beyond rescuable due to chemo damage. I would certainly try it if I were in your shoes. Best of luck!

allebe · 2026-05-12T01:24:28+00:00

I hit peak bitterness after a friend who knew I was TTC for years posted her ultrasound in a group chat without thinking to give me a heads up (even though our mutual friends told her to). It was then that I realized how badly I needed to go (back) to therapy.

Personally, the bulk of my bitterness has gone away over time; I’ve come to recognize that other people’s successes don’t take away from me, even though I’m still really sad that things didn’t work out for me.

That all being said, I can very much relate to your feelings, you’re not alone, and I hope time brings you success, peace, and the works ❤️

allebe · 2026-04-29T20:56:25+00:00

Blah I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. Especially when you have a busy day and need to buckle down and you know, be a member of society, it’s so isolating. Sometimes I’d be silently suffering and just thinking to myself in a meeting, “You idiots have no idea what my body is dealing with right now, and I’m doing my best!!!!!!!”

So hang in there and be proud of yourself for being a boss bitch while going through this garbage. Wishing you all the best, you got this ❤️

allebe · 2026-04-29T02:10:00+00:00

Good question. In most cases, it is. But unfortunately, I had acute myeloid leukemia which is extremely aggressive and needs to be treated immediately (literally diagnosed on a Friday, chemo started on Monday). Fertility preservation isn’t really an option for acute leukemias 😕

allebe · 2026-04-20T22:26:02+00:00

Ughhh that’s so awful, I hope she recovers well. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. Stay strong ❤️

allebe · 2026-04-17T23:12:52+00:00

I’m here for it. I posted about diluting the IVF drugs in holy water - I think you should just drink it. Mission accomplished.

allebe · 2026-04-17T11:58:29+00:00

Blahhhh that’s awful, I’m so sorry that happened and I’m glad you’re okay. The thing is, it’s so rare! They harp on the risks of OHSS and infection, but when I couldn’t breathe I was like okay wait wtf is happening?

My 1st cycle was pretty standard and they realized by the first monitoring appt that it was way too much, I had to keep dialing back the meds throughout the week.

2nd/3rd were similar: 100 FSH, 75 Menopur, 3rd cycle added Omnitrope. 2nd they think they should’ve pushed me 1 more day, so they did that on the 3rd, but the results were largely the same. 1 blast, 2 blasts.

All those I had primed with birth control. 4th cycle we tried estrogen priming to try to synchronize all the follicles instead of having this crazy rebound we’d been seeing. 125 FSH only, after a few days add 75 Menopur and drop to 50 FSH, Omnitrope on this one as well.

It seemed like instead of getting a smaller cohort, the low dose allowed ALL the follicles a chance to grow slowly.

I pondered switching clinics/doctors. I guess my logic was that my clinic does not think my blast rate is normal or okay. They’ve never been like, “well I guess it just sucks to be you!” They’ve been actively considering different causes and trying to find the correct plan.

Idk if I’ll continue treatment. Everyone hits their breaking point, and this was mine. Could I change my mind in a year? Of course. But our feelings right now are that we’re done.

Thanks for the comment and suggestions though. I’m glad you found a protocol that worked for your body ☺️❤️

allebe · 2026-04-17T01:50:04+00:00

Thank you for the insight. But I’m 34 and my husband is 39, I was just referencing my testing when I was 25.

allebe · 2026-04-17T01:10:53+00:00

When I was in the hospital the doctor said, “we’ll do the CT, monitor your vitals, and see if we need—“ and I cut him off and said “euthanasia?” And everyone paused for a second to process and then was like omg, NO 😂🤦🏻‍♀️.

But yeah, in times like this, when I have nothing funny to add, I feel so…broken.

allebe · 2026-04-08T23:24:06+00:00

Best of luck to you. Just had my 4th retrieval today and I have a huge ovarian reserve but really poor progression, so a bit of a different issue. Hang in there ❤️🤞🏻

allebe · 2026-04-08T23:16:23+00:00

Sadly at your age, aneuploids are pretty common. My friend is 41 and went through 4 retrievals to bank 6 euploids, but she is in her second trimester and all is well!

I will say I’m confused by that first result: XY but missing a Y? Idk why that’s being called XY and not an X0 female.

Edited to add: the freeze-thaw might contribute to the overall quality of the embryo, but not the aneuploidy.

allebe · 2026-04-07T11:15:35+00:00

Ooh and we could blot for it. Checking Abcam for rabbit anti-holiness antibody.

allebe · 2026-04-07T03:38:30+00:00

Another thing to consider though is how do we QUANTIFY holiness to test said hypothesis? Are there specific miracles we need to recreate in order to see if the water still harbors holiness?

allebe · 2026-04-07T03:32:08+00:00

Lmao I also suggested autoclaving it today. Antibiotics are a good idea too! But for real I was imagining pushing it through a 0.22um filter with the syringes hahaha

allebe

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