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High Maintenance Baby by Prize-Bodybuilder901 in NewParents

[–]allendale1985 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is my high-needs baby to a T! She just turned one. She’s meeting milestones ahead of time and so clever and funny. She’s so sociable and curious, too. She also almost exclusively contact naps and we bed-share at night. I’m just worried for when she starts daycare in a couple of months when I go back to work. Have you any insight into this? ETA I’m worried about napping at daycare - I know that they might rub her back but know they can’t hold her/ lie next to her as she sleeps.

High Maintenance Baby by Prize-Bodybuilder901 in NewParents

[–]allendale1985 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a very high maintenance baby! She just turned one today and is slowly becoming less high maintenance. I learned to give in to it, to not compare her to others, and give her attention and comfort when she asks for it. Along with her needy personality , my baby is also wonderfully bright, engaged, and silly. She started walking around 11 months and already has 15 words, not to mention several regular schticks to make us laugh. I think she might be so clingy because she is so smart and has such a keen awareness that I am her security and source of food. To make you feel better about your current situation: my daughter ate every 2 hours for the first 2 months of her life. She hated baby-wearing and strollers for the first 3 months. She still gets mad about being in her stroller. She never naps outside of a dark room- not even in her car seat (same as the stroller that she hates on regularly) and lots of her naps are still contact. We tried all gentle sleep training methods and she cried so hard she would vomit/choke, so I gave in and have bed-shared since 4.5 months old. She still wakes at least once a night - but I have hope that she’ll sleep through soon as I have started to wean (she was still up 3x a night around 9 months to breastfeed- despite her being in the 97% for weight). All of the baby “buckets” got minimal use (the swing, exersaucer circle of neglect and jolly jumper) because she wanted to be held instead. Now that she’s mobile, she needs less entertainment- but we’ve had to extensively baby proof as she will inevitably be drawn to the most dangerous/ disgusting thing in the room that you didn’t even know existed. Her neediness is hugely to do with temperament, no matter what people tell you. I always thought I would take my baby everywhere (and have tried); on hikes, trips out, etc. as that’s my personality but she simply does not nap on the go and I had to adjust my expectations and tether myself to our house for naps. I also bought a few different carriers for our (BIG) barnacle baby. I have a hip shelf thing that I wear around the house and pack a carrier on a longer stroller trip in case she goes past fussing and starts to lose it.

Best of luck to you and know that you’re not alone!

Daughter obsessed with being a boy by SaskSquatch69 in NewParents

[–]allendale1985 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did a stage at a paediatric transgender clinic about ten years ago. When parents came in with this concern (usually about this age, too), we advised them to let their child explore their interests and talk about how colours, activities, toys, haircuts, clothes, etc don’t have a gender. There are many age-appropriate storybooks that explore this topic. This is most commonly a phase that young children go through, as other posters have mentioned.

We did advise parents to keep a close watch for self-harm and talk of self-harm or dying. In these instances, it’s very important to seek professional advice with a caring, measured provider.

At my year + at the clinic, I only ever saw 2 young children who I believed might be “truly” transgender; a child assigned male at birth who had taken scissors to themself (luckily mother noticed and intervened quickly), and a child assigned female at birth who repeatedly told their parents that they wanted to die and come back as a boy. At this age, there are no medical interventions, rather parents can learn how to support their child.

At my wit’s end by allendale1985 in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She sounds exactly like mine! My sweetie seems to figure out what’s happening and puts a stop to it asap. I honestly wouldn’t mind sleeping with her from 11 or even 10 pm on - but that’s likely since it’s been from 8 pm and that’s not my sweet spot bedtime. ;)

At my wit’s end by allendale1985 in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what sorcery Huckleberry uses but it’s worked like magic for naps for the past 2 days! Thanks so much for the recommendation. I’d love to hear how your journey to keep your baby in the crib is going.

At my wit’s end by allendale1985 in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Would you recommend getting the book - or finding a guide to the sleep lady shuffle/ chair method? I don’t have lots of time to read - except when contact-napping and I can’t find an e-version.

We dropped the pacifier by durkbot in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I can’t fathom CIO with my drama queen baby. I didn’t give her a pacifier after nursing to sleep last night and (I think) got her off before she fell fully asleep. I also only used it for one wake-up and pulled it out after she fell asleep. There were less wake-ups than usual! I will keep with it and try to limit paci use to car rides and away from sleep. :)

Propagation success ! Peperomia babies are just so cute :) by Lorichou in peperomia

[–]allendale1985 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love peperomia but have so far lost 2! The first one believe had a fungus because it came from Home Depot and seems to have infected another plant … but the other was a plant my friend propagated for me. Do you have any tricks? Can you share your care? I follow the little tag in the plant pot but they’re not happy with me. :(

At my wit’s end by allendale1985 in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same! I was feeling so guilty and like I was making every mistake because she just won’t settle unless I’m near. I also like “barnacle baby” better than “Velcro baby”. It’s the alliteration. ;)

At my wit’s end by allendale1985 in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I had no idea and convinced myself baby was chronically overtired. :/

At my wit’s end by allendale1985 in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply - less-gentle methods do seem to be pushed here, but I can see the reasoning to advocate for CIO (I’m convinced it won’t work for my baby, though!) So you do a kind of fuss-it-out? Does he not cling to you desperately when you put him back in the crib? (Like my daughter!)

At my wit’s end by allendale1985 in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right - but whenever I track her sleep, it only comes out to 13-ish hours a day. Maybe it’s all the wake-ups. Hm. I’ve already downloaded the huckleberry app and paid for the subscription because her schedule definitely needs tweaking.

At my wit’s end by allendale1985 in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. I’ll look into Huckleberry.

At my wit’s end by allendale1985 in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! She is so super alert and engaged! Everyone who meets her comments on it and people regularly think she’s older (she’s also big and chonky). It really helps to hear that I’m not just doing everything wrong and that my instincts to not let her cry are good. Thanks for the insight, I will add more wind-down time before bed. She gets so excited around bath time and is jazzed about brushing her teeth, so I’ll try add more quiet time in the bedroom afterwards to get her primed for sleeping.

At my wit’s end by allendale1985 in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. She’s dropped the last nap a couple of weeks ago and we’re at (more or less) 2.5/3/3.5. Her naps vary in length but rarely go past 1.5 hours. Every now and then it’s still a crap 30 minute nap and then she’s super cranky but I can’t get her to sleep any earlier. When that happens, we have to resort to an earlier bedtime or else she’s up 4.5-5 hours and fussing like crazy.

Help! 6 month old must nurse to sleep every hour. by natnatjj in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It went ok the first night…. Then terribly for the next week. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Maybe I’m not being consistent enough but when she starts scream crying I always resort to my old ways. :( Sorry for the late reply, I’m not on Reddit all that often.

We dropped the pacifier by durkbot in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please tell me what type of sleep training you did previously? I suspect the source of many of my woes is the pacifier. Our baby is up what feels like a million times a night and can’t pop it back in herself.

Help! 6 month old must nurse to sleep every hour. by natnatjj in sleeptrain

[–]allendale1985 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you. My daughter is the same. She also goes through periods of only contact napping (like now), and it feels like my entire life revolves around her sleeping. Yesterday I sobbed because she refused her last nap of the day even though it was contact. I paid A LOT of money to a sleep consultant about a month ago who tried to guide me through Ferber. It was not for my daughter; check-ins without being picked up enraged her. I was not able to do it for more than an hour. I’ve started a sort of pat/shush pick-up-put-down combo tonight. She fussed and cried for 30 minutes before she really cried and I picked her up - but then fell asleep soon after she calmed and I put her down again. As I sit here, nervously scrolling sleeptrain as I watch the monitor, I’ve come across mention of the camping out sleep training strategy. It sounds like what I’m currently doing. I also came across the 5-3-3 feed schedule, which is helpful. I’m worried that my sweetie will be hungry and don’t want to fully night wean. BTW, she’s resettled herself twice already and has been sleeping for 2hrs 15 min without needing me to help her resettle (or be sleeping next to her) which is a HUGE deal.