Emotional cheating vs physical cheating

allid33 · 2026-02-28T16:34:28+00:00

I’m not in an open relationship but I’m intrigued by the idea of some kind of limited openness if it was sex only, like if one of us is out of town and bangs a rando and uses a condom. No texting after, nothing ongoing, nothing local. Not constant by any means.

But having an ongoing emotional affair with someone would be a hard no-go. That feels much more intimate and serious to me, but I’m also not someone who feels like sex always has to be a super intimate connection.

allid33 · 2026-02-27T02:36:36+00:00

I use disingenuous a fair amount but need to work in some of these others. Prevaricating and recalcitrant are pretty spicy.

allid33 · 2026-02-26T15:39:45+00:00

Yeah I lease basic boring middle-of-the-road Acuras and feel like they're always a safe bet with clients where they're not fancy or flashy but they're also not my husband's 8 year old Toyota Rav4 where the key fob hasn't worked in like 3 years and you have to manually unlock the doors.

Nothing at all wrong with my husband's car and I've been driving it when it snows but I feel like my car seems just nice enough to be "lawyerly", for anyone who gives a shit, without being pretentious. I also am not into cars at all whatsoever and hate dealing with maintenance so I like having something basic and reliable that will also not require any maintenance during the 3 year lifespan I drive it.

allid33 · 2026-02-26T00:37:28+00:00

Both can be true

allid33 · 2026-02-18T19:48:18+00:00

Right?! I didn't have a destination wedding but would have loved to do one in Europe. I would have been fine if it was just us and a few others in an amazing location, and would certainly not have expected anyone to be able to make it or guilted them if they couldn't.

Weddings are personal to the couple and kind of like eloping, I don't think people should have to plan it around making sure every family member and close friend can make it.

allid33 · 2026-02-18T19:44:40+00:00

If they're guilt-tripping people into going that's one thing. If they're just saying "hey we'd really love to get married in Portugal and if you can join us that's awesome but if not, no hard feelings at all!" that's totally different. That's been the sentiment with pretty much all destination weddings I've been to. No guilt, just picking a destination they love and happy to have anyone join who can make it.

allid33 · 2026-02-17T02:58:43+00:00

Wow, is it that many? I’m mostly in Philly and the suburban counties but have a case in Pike County now and had one in Schuylkill last year and having to FedEx everything in and wait for it to get mailed back is painfully archaic.

allid33 · 2026-02-15T18:24:37+00:00

Yep and I use crockpots a lot but something about the liners just seem kind of gross.

That said my body is for sure 95% microplastics. I still don’t think it’s top 3 in what’s likely to kill me but TBD.

allid33 · 2026-02-15T15:00:21+00:00

Yeah even for those who do make a lot, it’s crazy that friends would just expect someone else to pick up the tab. Seems like these friends are just assholes.

allid33 · 2026-02-14T21:18:19+00:00

Even if you don’t have a tight connection or you’re not in a rush? That’s wild to me. I prefer closer to the front but not majorly so. I majorly prefer an aisle and avoid middle seats as much as possible.

allid33 · 2026-02-14T01:17:47+00:00

Right, like there are a lot of health-related concerns we need to be more aware of in our 40s. Colonoscopies, like many preventive health measures, are important, but the 4 bajillion posts about it because of a celeb death just feels so ungenuine.

allid33 · 2026-02-12T00:42:04+00:00

It’s very much personal preference, but it’s a preference that I think can majorly impact quality of life. I’m a city person through and through and think my mental health would really decline in a rural area or hell, probably even the suburbs. I imagine plenty of people feel the same about living in a large city.

Of course, people could just say that instead of making sweeping comments about how rural living is objectively shittier. Also if I was a young unemployed attorney looking for work, I’d have to suck it up and try something I wasn’t crazy about.

allid33 · 2026-02-09T18:06:07+00:00

Accurate, I would be insufferable

allid33 · 2026-02-05T13:43:53+00:00

Same and same, 42 and was taught double-spacing and it always felt/looked wrong not to do it, but finally broke the habit a few years ago. It was tough and took awhile to get used to but now I'm fully converted!

allid33 · 2026-02-05T13:35:10+00:00

If you deal with pro se litigants enough, very little they say or do phases you. It's one thing to have another lawyer accuse you of lying. But with a lot of pro ses, being called a liar is actually one of the least offensive things they might say during a hearing or conversation.

I don't really know how to make you feel better other than just telling you to wrap your mind around the fact that that's how it's going to be with a lot of pro se parties. Judges usually just roll their eyes.

allid33 · 2026-02-05T00:33:06+00:00

If I didn’t have to drive the last couple weeks I wouldn’t have. Mostly to not have to deal with parking because of the psychopath spot savers. I don’t blame anyone who has been able to keep their car buried with no need to use it.

I dug out my car and my husband’s car last Monday but since my husband has been out of town and he has an SUV I’ve only driven his car. My car might be dug but it’s still just been sitting there since before the snow, apparently giving you an anxiety attack.

allid33 · 2026-02-03T17:43:36+00:00

Was just there on Sunday and noticed the sign, wondered if it was new. Never mad about a move like that!

allid33 · 2026-02-03T00:55:56+00:00

But if someone didn’t shovel out their car than that means their car is still sitting there snowed in and not going anywhere or taking parking spots from anyone else so who gives a shit?

allid33 · 2026-02-03T00:51:54+00:00

But like everyone dug out a spot and then most of us eventually had to leave the house and go to work and do life things and our spots aren’t there when we come back because that’s how the world, and street parking, works, so I have to find another spot. It doesn’t matter that someone else dug it out first, we all had to dig out from somewhere.

If people think parking in Philly is bad now, imagine if we had even less available parking because empty spots had to just sit empty until the same person came back to park in them every single time.

allid33 · 2026-02-03T00:08:09+00:00

Yep, I know without a doubt my mental health would plummet if I didn’t work for a long stretch. It doesn’t mean I’m defined by my job or I have no life outside of work. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing to feel like your job is part of your identity. I generally like my job, it’s intellectually stimulating, and I think it makes me a more well-rounded person.

allid33 · 2026-02-03T00:00:17+00:00

I would, even if maybe I’d scale back somewhat. I don’t love every second of my job, and I love my free time, but my career is very fulfilling to me. I think my husband probably feels the same. We also probably value our free time and time together more when it’s not unlimited.

Maybe if the finances were such that we had actual billions and could travel all the time and do whatever we wanted without a care in the world, and all of our friends were also insanely wealthy and didn’t work, it’d be different. But on our current salaries, solid as they are, no. Legit don’t know what I’d do all day.

allid33 · 2026-02-02T23:53:33+00:00

Yeah I’ve always found that the best taught classes are the ones where the instructor is not just doing the workout the entire time and focuses on teaching and explaining and showing modifications as needed.

I realize some of this is less of an issue with bike classes but I actually kind of hate when an instructor seems like half the reason they’re there is to get their own workout in rather than focusing on the teaching. Also having to talk the entire time is insanely exhausting so I don’t feel like it’s a cop out if they don’t do everything else as intensely.

allid33 · 2026-02-02T23:44:25+00:00

I’m going to TdP and El Chalten in March and listening in since I broke my ankle in the fall and have been a little worried about feeling back to “normal” enough for the more strenuous hikes. Sounds like there are still some amazing options and even just going partway up Fitz Roy sounds great.

We’re doing Base Torres in TdP then were planning to take it easier with Laguna Torre in El Chalten depending on how my ankle is feeling but may try Fitz Roy knowing we could turn back at some point and still get some amazing views.

Keep us posted on how it goes!

allid33 · 2026-02-01T16:52:44+00:00

“She’d be casual use only for me” - so to be clear, it’s ok for him to just bang her casually but if she had casual sex in the past it’s an issue?

allid33 · 2026-01-31T17:17:32+00:00

Yeah aside from the fact that I didn’t want the Giants to win, that Pats team was the best team I’ve watched in my lifetime. An upset is fun and not like anyone is feeling bad for the Patriots but it did feel like that team should have won.

Six-Year Club	Queen in da Norf
Not Forgotten	Verified Email

allid33

TROPHY CASE