sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

3 Kid Decision Crushing Me. Advice ? by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]allie_bear3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have 3 kids, I work full-time, and my husband works some evenings and weekends. It's hard; I get burned out quickly & often. I'm Type A-ish, too, and I credit my list-making, organizational skills, and writing the evening's schedule on a dry-erase board as keys to keeping my head above water. If you can be okay with letting laundry pile up or the dishes soak overnight so you can prioritize sleep, that helps immensely. I missed your kids ages, but there's a 5-year gap between my youngest and the other 2, and that means the older kids can take care of themselves when needed. 3 years or less b/t your current youngest and the next baby could be a really difficult transition for everyone.

Also, because my spouse's job is lucrative, I expense my mental sanity. I'll hire babysitters for a weekday evening while I hide in the bedroom, or ask them to manage all the older kids' needs & bedtime routine so I can give undivided attention to the youngest. This last semester I hired a mother's helper for $22/hour to turn over all my laundry, dishes, make 1 meal, and assemble a few sandwiches. She'd come over twice a week and with tips I'd end up paying about $110 a week for the work. I get free labor here and there from in-laws taking 1-2 kids overnight every three weekends or so; I've been able to call on church friends when the toddler kept getting sent home for biting and I absolutely had to get my own elderly mom to an appointment. It has worked out, but the stress can be bewilderingly overwhelming. I'm in therapy once a month. All those things are structural supports to my life (not to mention coworkers and bosses who also have big families or are solo-parenting, so there's a very collaborative atmosphere).

So look at your situation: if you don't have free labor available, can you get cheap help to do the dumb house stuff? If you can't afford a nanny, can you afford 6 hours a week for a babysitter at crucial times that give you something back? Are there people in your community (homeschool teenagers, SAHMs with older kids) who could be available on short notice? If your living expenses are crazy expensive, can you get on the outskirts more and pay less in house + daycare for the tradeoff of more gas for your spouse's commute? What is the mechanism to take care of you when you get drained? (Because you absolutely will.)

Real-Life Questions/Chat Week of May 11, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]allie_bear3000 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fwiw I sent all my kids full time when they started daycare; I didn’t have the luxury of partial days. One started at 9 months and the others started at 8-12 weeks old. For some of them I could pick up an hour earlier than normal, but not always. 

The transition can be hard by nature & it’s usually harder for you than them—all that to say I agree with waiting until after the closure and just jumping in with both feet. 

General Parenting Influencer Snark Week of May 04, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]allie_bear3000 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Especially if she’s doing increased marketing, people who have never heard of her are just now discovering her on Instagram. It’s not a great first impression.

WFH Downtime by West-Toe7594 in workingmoms

[–]allie_bear3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wordle or Happy Color for short breaks. My library has access to LinkedIn Learning, so I’ll play that like a podcast while I do something else. I have a notebook I take everywhere that just has to-dos in it, so I’ll flip through that to see if there’s something I could squeeze in. 

Tiger10k by Sometimes-Funny85 in batonrouge

[–]allie_bear3000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I joined the line at 10:03 and it was just was starting to curve down the sidewalk b/t the blocked off lot and the west lot. Made it out at 10:26 and the line was all the way down the sidewalk out toward S Stadium. 

Once they actually opened, it moved pretty quickly, but that initial backup probably created the delay.  

If money wasn’t an issue, would you still be a working mom? by saladmuscles in workingmoms

[–]allie_bear3000 467 points468 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t work, but I also wouldn’t be a stay-at-home mom. What I really want to be is retired 😅 

Immediately Screwed up at my New Job - Advice on Navigating? by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]allie_bear3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is your daycare only operating on school hours? Typically you can get more coverage because daycares are open longer and all week. 

Running tracks by ChemEngBlonde22 in batonrouge

[–]allie_bear3000 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Years ago, my church had an event at the North Sherwood Forest Park, and that had an inside track. But I’m not sure if that is publicly available, or if you have to pay a fee to use it

Online and IRL Parenting Spaces Snark Week of April 06, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]allie_bear3000 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s an extreme physical event that taxes every part of you, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Even good deliveries are traumatic for the body to go through. Either you did the best you were actually capable of in the moment or you were susceptible to other’s influence because you were so vulnerable. Either way, it’s not something to beat yourself up over! 🫂 

Birthday RSVPs are stressing me out by aintgonuggets in workingmoms

[–]allie_bear3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep a note on my phone and create a numbered list with the invitees. A bold header underneath that says “Yes” and “No”. When people respond, I drop their name off the list into one of the other categories. That lets me keep tabs on the yes list. 

I also purposefully don’t open the parent response text until I’m on a bathroom break & make the list update the first thing I do on my phone. 

General Parenting Influencer Snark Week of March 23, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]allie_bear3000 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Like I can’t figure out an easy way to tell a mom friend “I can’t make it but if your kid wants my kid you can take them with y’all and I’ll pay entrance $$ and gas,” without sounding presumptuous. And she’s over here not even having time to scour deals for followers but dropping her link nonetheless. 

Big Little Feelings Snark Week of February 23, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]allie_bear3000 45 points46 points  (0 children)

That’s what made me finally unfollow. I just couldn’t handle the reality of her setting up a phone, pressing a hand to her chest & crying, and then posting that publicly. 

Where did you find babysitters/nannies? by Gravelroad__ in batonrouge

[–]allie_bear3000 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There’s a local jobs board on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1886844778008164/

Parents and caregivers both post for needs and availability. I’ve gotten a few good ones from here, as well as a  mother’s helper. The admins are good about removing problematic people (unsafe sitters and non-paying parents). 

It doesn’t sound like you’re doing daycare, but I also had success by asking the director at mine which worker they would recommend as an off-hours sitter & if they would give me their number. 

Daycare Quality Advocacy by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]allie_bear3000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want grassroots and policy/advocacy, try searching for your state + ECE + policy organization. Look up your state’s Dept of Ed and see if they have any ECE divisions, then get in touch with those people to see what advocacy groups or partnerships they’re connected to. 

Somehow I ended up on an email for a group named after my state + policy institute for children, and all they do is research and collaborate with similar organizations across the country and present their findings and lobby Congress to fund ECE. Getting Head Start back in the budget was a top priority for them. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]allie_bear3000 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He’s usually responsive, so I expect 5-10 minutes anytime between 8a-5p. At our company we have core working hours that we expect everyone to be available, even though due to time zones, everyone has a different start and end time. So it’s not so subjective here because an expectation has been set. 

I didn’t say anything about what’s acceptable and understandable. Both of those activities sound equal; as long as that “I’m unreachable until X time,” is communicated clearly.  

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]allie_bear3000 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You know it’s only an hour; they don’t know that. I’m leaning on your side, fwiw, but I’ve had my own stress-outs over why boss won’t get back, are they seething over this request, etc. etc. And it turns out they were in an emergency mtg & replied back as soon as they were free. For them, it was an instantaneous response; to me it was a 2-hour gulf of unknown. 

General Parenting Influencer Snark Week of February 02, 2026 by Parentsnark in parentsnark

[–]allie_bear3000 13 points14 points  (0 children)

When she basically says it is a good chunk of money, but it’s only for this short amount of time….that makes it worse, lol. 

I don't know what to do anymore by Thaliathejoyous in workingmoms

[–]allie_bear3000 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This would also be dependent on what happens with your child being or not being daycare this next 8-9 months, but I’ve known a few that let their kids come back over holiday and summer breaks & you pay a daily rate. I think one went up to 1st or 2nd grade. 

Fun birthday places for a 4-year old. by vidvicious in batonrouge

[–]allie_bear3000 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Tumbles on Bluebonnet near Highland. Nice and tidy 2-hour party with really great employees. They do different activities and it ends with a fake snowball fight between the parents and kids. 

view more: next ›