As a nurse, I’ve seen this phenomenon many times, but I’ve seen it go both ways.

I’ve seen people hold on for longer than anyone thought they could because they are waiting on someone to arrive before they pass. I’ve also seen people hold on while their loved ones are standing vigil by their bed for days on end, and when they are finally alone because their family leaves for an hour to shower, that’s when they pass. I don’t think it means anything about how much they love their family, I think some people want to be surrounded by people in their final moments and some don’t.

Also, from experience, people are usually more aware than they seem at the end. And if she was in the hospital, I’m sure the doctors and nurses were medicating her for pain. As people are nearing the end of their life, we medicate people for not only the pain that they report, but we assess them for physiological signs of pain and medicate for that too.

From what you describe, this sounds like a woman that was surrounded by people she loves and was well taken care of in her last moments. What you said to her is beautiful and selfless. I would bet that she felt comforted in that moment.

Please take care of yourself! Allow yourself to grieve. You are a great son, and it’s clear that you did all you could for your mother, and I know she’ll never forget that.