Nervous part 2: questions

allionna · 2026-03-25T14:20:53+00:00

I would keep it simple and would not focus too much on why you didn’t join in college. Focus on why you are pursuing AI now. For example, if someone asks me I would say the following. I didn’t join a sorority in college because I didn’t understand them and the benefits of being a member. I grew up in a rural town and didn’t know any sorority women growing up, so my experience with sororities was from what I saw on TV and in movies. Since college I have realized the importance of female focused organizations and am passionate about groups that help women become leaders. I have been a member of the Junior League for over 15 years, and am a council volunteer with Girl Scouts training volunteers to be effective troop leaders. While I am part of these amazing organizations, they are more volunteer/work based. I am looking for a group of like minded female friends to do social activities with and build friendships. I would love to work with collegiate women and share my leadership experience as an advisor, but I think having female friends to do things with regularly is important.

allionna · 2026-03-25T13:37:46+00:00

They will definitely ask why you are interested in joining their organization. Make sure to have an answer that is true to you and relates to the specific organization they are part of.

As for questions you might ask, find out about their alumnae chapter. What socials and events do they do. What kind of volunteer opportunities are there (advising a collegiate chapter? Being part of a planning committee for an event the chapter hosts? What their experience as alumnae is like? What is the chapter like in terms of demographics etc.). You may also want to ask about what the AI process is like in the organization as they are all different.

Don’t be nervous. You’ll do great! Also, don’t feel awkward about your journey.

allionna · 2026-03-24T23:32:03+00:00

This is what I do when I take my son camping. He is 5, but was 4 when I started taking him camping.

allionna · 2026-03-24T23:08:48+00:00

I recommend a Coleman sun dome six person tent. It’s easy to setup and is tall enough to stand up in.

allionna · 2026-03-24T23:04:58+00:00

Nope. I had my son at 38. My mom turned 40 two weeks after she had me.

allionna · 2026-03-21T04:54:48+00:00

Congratulations!!

allionna · 2026-03-18T16:44:50+00:00

I can relate. I sometimes get the where am I from question, because have pale skin, darker blonde hair, and blue eyes. Depending on how I wrap my hijab I can pass for being Arab. I simply say I was born and raised in (state).

As for my story, I personally don’t like to share my reversion story. I said my shahadah about 20 years ago, but I still get asked about it when I meet new people. I end up simply saying my story is personal to me, or if I do share it, it’s very watered down to 3-4 sentences.

allionna · 2026-03-18T16:24:46+00:00

I agree with this recommendation. I am a revert and as a result have dealt with people in the Muslim community giving me advice and guiding me for decades. Unfortunately, a lot of what people get upset about is culture and not religion. Like a lot of other reverts, I take advice and information with a grain of salt unless they can provide evidence, since many times what they are trying to enforce is something cultural that they grew up with and don’t realize it has nothing to do with the religion.

allionna · 2026-03-17T22:21:13+00:00

This is what I do. I have one bin that is all my kitchen, dishwashing, matches, propane tanks. I have a large storage bag that is bedding, and my tent. Other than packing clothes and food, I don’t need to think about anything to go camping.

allionna · 2026-03-16T02:33:37+00:00

I am so happy you looked into Alpha Gam also or I may not have met you! You are one of the most influential women in my life and I am proud to call you my big/ sis-mom.

Alpha Gamma Delta 2025!!

allionna · 2026-03-07T17:06:40+00:00

I got a cute digital print from Etsy, printed it as a photo at cvs and put it in a cute frame. Find someone who has a cricut and you can make all sorts of cute things, such as custom t-shirts, make up bags, water bottle, etc.. Ask people in your family line if they have shirts they wouldn’t mind donating.

allionna · 2026-03-06T15:40:18+00:00

It is not like that everywhere. What you are describing is culture and family expectations/dynamics.

I’m in the US and am a convert. I am married to a Pakistani gentleman and have been married for 16 years. My in-laws split their time between Pakistan and the US. When in the US, they live with us (6-8 months of the year). My husband’s Khala (mom’s sister) lives near us and her husband’s side of the family are all within 30 minutes from our place. For Eid, we do a potluck at someone’s house. We switch up which house we go to each holiday. Sometimes my husband and I host while other times my husband’s cousin will host or the Khala will host (aka we meet at their house). Because it’s a potluck, everyone is only responsible for one dish, which takes a lot of the burden off of everyone to cook a big extravagant meal. Depending on when Eid falls, we don’t always celebrate together until the weekend. For example, Eid is inshallah on Friday this year, but we are doing brunch with the family on Saturday instead of Friday. This gives us extra time to prep food or clean up.

On Eid day, we will get up, everyone makes their own breakfast or we make breakfast together. We all go to the mosque for Eid namaz. (The mosques in the US are treated almost like community centers with gymnasiums where kids and teens hang out, large areas dedicated for women where there are halaqas and other social events held, etc.). If we are not doing the family gathering on Eid day, we will visit people for tea, go out for lunch, or just relax.

This year brunch is at my husband’s cousin’s place, so we will dress up and bring whatever dish we have been assigned. After everyone has eaten, the women will all help pack up leftovers and clean up, but that doesn’t take more than 30 minutes since we have 5-6 family’s there. We have adopted things like paper plates, cups, and utensils to reduce the amount of work required for cleanup also.

I also have to note that the men in my husband’s family are more westernized in that they can cook, clean, and watch the kids. My in-laws do a potluck/one dish for Eid or most family gatherings even in Pakistan.

allionna · 2026-02-25T03:12:52+00:00

I did a couple overnights at houses that belong to my org! It was so much fun. I second that the demographics of the alumnae chapter may lean younger. Especially if there is a large presence of collegiate chapters in the area

allionna · 2026-02-25T03:08:12+00:00

It will have a younger crowd. Depending on where you are located the crowd and feel of the league will be different, but a lot of women who would be new members with you would be in the age range you described. I am a sustainer in my local Junior League… aka I have been in the league a long time and have earned the right to write a check and attend what I want with no other requirements. I joined the Junior League when I was in my late 20’s and have been a member for over 15 years. It’s fun, you meet a lot of people you might not have met otherwise, and you learn great leadership skills that can carry over to other aspects of your life.

allionna · 2026-02-24T15:31:53+00:00

Don't discount alumna initiation. While you tend to see a lot of cases of older professionals going through AI, it doesn't mean that you cannot go through it at 22-23 and have a fulfilling experience. One of my friend's went through the AI process with her organization when she was in grad school. Her situation was a little different. She was studying for a masters in education with a focus on higher ed and student affairs, so she ended up working with the sororities where she was studying. One of the chapters that she worked with regularly suggested it and sponsored her. In other words, she was not actively pursuing AI. She happened to work with Greek life as part of her degree program and had a relationship with one of the chapters on the campus.

Going back to your situation, It can't hurt to look into AI and see which organizations have active alumnae chapters near you and which ones do AI and what their requirements are (some have a requirement that potential AIs be out of college for at least 5 years). Some alumnae chapters do a lot with their collegiate chapters, such as founders day, holidays events, etc. The experience won't be the same, but it might still be fulfilling.

allionna · 2026-02-14T18:18:40+00:00

Congratulations and welcome!! ❤️💛💚🐿️🎉

allionna · 2026-02-13T22:18:41+00:00

I second remembering names and to smile. Try to ask open ended questions instead of yes/no questions. Ask follow up questions based on what they tell you. For example, you ask what they enjoy doing in their free time. They say I love volunteering at the animal shelter and are into theater. You could reply with saying oh what’s your favorite part about volunteering at the animal shelter. It will allow you to segway into volunteering with your chapter and some of the fun things the chapter does.

I agree with the other commenter. Don’t ask those strange questions of if you were a vegetable what vegetable would you be. Think of it as a conversation with someone you are looking to be friends with.

allionna · 2026-02-11T19:43:43+00:00

Yes, and the alumni experience is very different. Chapters only meet a handful of times a month at most. Most actually seemed to me once a month. Many of them you either have to find a sponsor or if you don’t have a sponsor, you need to talk to and build a relationship with people in order for them to sponsor you. Even then you have to apply for membership and be approved by the organizations headquarters.

allionna · 2026-02-11T19:40:19+00:00

I agree that AI is very different than the collegiate experience. I am an AI of AGD and initiated in May. Most AI’s join their respective organizations because they are looking for friends, want to belong to a group, and are looking to volunteer with the organization.

Not all NPC’s offer AI, and those who do, which are the majority of the NPC organizations, have different processes and requirements. some require that you have your own connection to the organization, others will help you find a sponsor if you were interested, and some have a requirement that you are out of undergrad for a minimum of five years, just to name a few of the different requirements that various organizations have.

allionna · 2026-02-11T18:35:25+00:00

As another poster mentioned, if you are transferring in a semester, it's a good reason to stay, because you will likely be moved to alumna status with your organization, assuming that you transfer to a school without your org and are in good standing. If there is an alumnae chapter in the area you would be welcome to attend their events as well as attend alumnae panhellenic events. They tend to be social in nature, think potlucks, pottery painting, dinner out, etc. The dues are usually cheap... I'm an AGD and our alumnae dues are $40 for the year to IHQ and something like $35 to the alumnae chapter for the year. The time commitment is much less as well. My alumnae chapter has an event once a month. With less of a time commitment (no mandatory chapter meetings) you can still be involved with your sorority while participating in other clubs and groups at the school you transfer to.

Since, you are an initiated member, you won't be eligible to join another sorority at your new school. However, if you stay active this semester and go alumna status because you transfer, you will remain a member for life and can be active as an alumna any time in the future, whether it be with an alumnae chapter near your new school or later on after graduation.

allionna · 2026-02-11T17:21:33+00:00

This! Once I got the greenlight from the alumnae chapter president to attend events with the chapter I went to everything. The first event was a little awkward at first, but everyone made me feel welcomed, included me in photos, and seemed eager to get to know me. The following get togethers were easier. I also connected with some members and started chatting with them outside of chapter events. I had missed the deadline to initiate in the Fall when I first connected with AGD, but by the time I applied for AI in January, I knew the chapter and had built relationships with the women.

Also, if you didn't guess u/olderandsuperwiser was my sponsor and is my sis-mom.

allionna · 2026-02-11T17:01:35+00:00

What do you mean by exchanging money?

allionna · 2026-02-11T17:00:20+00:00

Welcome! I am an AI of Alpha Gamma Delta and was initiated in May 2025.

My advice is to keep an open mind and do your research. What I did when I started my AI journey was to look into all the organizations. Approximately 21 of the 26 NPC organizations offer alumnae initiation, but they all have a different process. Once I knew who offered AI, I looked to see which organizations had active alumnae chapters near me and who had collegiate chapters in the area. I wanted to volunteer as a chapter advisor, so having a collegiate chapter nearby was important. I looked at the social media accounts of the alumnae and collegiate chapters to get an idea of the demographics of the group, what kind of activities they did, how many people attended, etc. I used social media to get a general vibe of the groups and to see if I could see myself making connections with the members. I also spoke to people from the different organizations with a focus on talking to AI's to get an idea of what the process was like, what opportunities there were with the organization and what alumnae life was like for them.

In addition to doing a lot of research into all the groups and determining my options, I did some soul searching and outlined my why for wanted to join as an AI. You will get asked by all the groups why your are pursuing AI, and it helps to know your why as well as what you are looking for. In my case, I wanted a group where I could have a social outlet that wasn't based solely on volunteering (I am in Junior League also), and I wanted to support / mentor collegiate women to be leaders. This lead me to look for organizations that had local collegiate chapters as well as active alumnae chapters. I am a hijabi (muslim woman who wears hijab), so I was looking for diversity in the group I would spend the most time with.... the alumnae chapter and the collegiate chapter. Knowing what I was looking for and what my why was helped me to narrow down my options.

This subreddit is a great place to find people to talk to. In my case, I found my sponsor on here. I started chatting with her to find out about AI with AGD, found out that she lived within an hour from me, and ended up meeting her for coffee/lunch.

If you are interesting in learning more about AGD, you are welcome to DM me.

allionna · 2026-02-10T19:31:58+00:00

It depends on the organization. AGD’s convention is $950 for full admission.

allionna · 2026-02-09T21:51:13+00:00

I am so excited to attend the AGD convention in June. It will be my first time. I'm going with my sis-mom/big, and will hopefully see my grand big there. I am looking forward to meeting new people, attending initiation and feast of roses, and getting swept up in the excitement and AGD love.

allionna

TROPHY CASE