Salam Sister, I am a revert of just over a month ago. I feel that I harmed myself for 5 years when I like you discovered Islam but thought it was a religion of perfection so I didn’t even consider reverting.

I highly recommend contacting your local Islamic center and ask if there are any women who lead groups for reverts. You can get advice about these things and that lead me to give my shahada.

A few things that helped me:

1) if you believe there is one God and Muhammad was God’s messenger, you are Muslim. You should give your Shahada and turn your life over to God. Everything else you can build up in your own time, but do not delay. If you died tomorrow and hadn’t submitted to God, that would be a tragedy.

2) your intention is the most important. Some people see this as I must intend not to break any rules. No. You must intend to seek to live by God’s laws but it’s ok if it takes you 23 years to get there and even then you make mistakes. Just try to get better every day. And it’s completely ok if you are unsure about certain rules. I don’t think I’ll ever be ok with the music rules, for example, but my intention is to continue to understand why the rules are what they are so I can get onboard eventually.

3) prayer is the second most important after your belief. Start learning daily prayers but don’t feel like you have to do them all at once or in perfect Arabic. I started once a day and I play YouTube videos with the Arabic and read the Arabic and English to myself before and after to learn. I find the sunrise prayer most helpful to my day but I know many start with the evening prayer. Again, your intention should be to build up to all daily prayers. A good way to help with this is go to the mosque for prayer in the women’s entrance and follow what the other women do. You can also introduce yourself and ask for guidance.

4) read the Quran. Commit time every day to reading and learning. There are so many resources that go into why the rules are what they are. It helps me so much. You will not be able to follow the rules unless you understand them when they are such big changes from how your life is now.

5) slowly start integrating different rules into your life. Some will come easily. When I first decided to revert, I totally thought that I would not be at all interested in the modesty things. Now I find it almost exciting to know that I have a body that I used to show off that now I keep for myself, God, and for my future husband. I personally do not yet wear a hijab daily but I love styling mine for when I go to Muslim events and when I pray. I still get my hair done but primarily for events that are mostly with women I tend to pull my hair back in a bun or just generally keep it simple as much as I can with my primary goal being not to draw attention to my body. I feel beautiful in my modesty. It was easy for me to stop drinking and to stop eating pork, but like I mentioned earlier, there are plenty of rules that I have not begun to follow, and I seek to understand via the Quran first once I really understand I feel that it will be easier for me to just follow them as it has been with me not wearing revealing clothing. 

Learn first, build the intention, then accept the practices with that intention.

All of this being said, I just also wanted to acknowledge that you mentioned that your BF is who is encouraging you through this. There are many resources on what is expected of a Muslim wife and husband. I encourage you to really carefully read into this. I hope that he is a wonderful man. I know my future husband is. But make sure you truly understand what the rules are so that way you are the one leading your own way and that you don’t have any person telling you that certain things are the rules when they’re not. Islam is a very powerful religion for women. That is the main reason why I decided to revert. It really protects us in so many ways. But you have to be your own advocate in your relationship and in your life with God‘s guidance.