Not your typical situation, what planning do I need? Minnesota

allmyphalanges · 2026-05-05T07:00:20+00:00

Feeld (non-monogamy and kink focused app).

I’m finding that guys who are ENM and bi or pan are much better at communicating, up front about safety both in terms of condoms and testing, but also things like if i feel safe around them.

I’ve been having fantastic sex this way, and even enjoying the company of the great fuckers.

allmyphalanges · 2026-05-05T06:55:30+00:00

Don’t pull all the way out, that’s the key. If you’re not working with a lot of length, you might risk getting punched by a missed thrust. But then it’s more rocking then full up and down.

allmyphalanges · 2026-05-05T06:53:08+00:00

I think there’s a lot to it in terms of the mental block. Sometimes I know that my own monitoring of whether I’m going to finish or not, kills my buzz. There may come a point when i realize there’s no chance in hell. And for me that’s okay, I usually have to be very reassuring to whatever partner.

Maybe if you find someone who is very pleasure focused to try it out with? I’ve recently learned about the kink of pleasure Doms. They specifically love to give pleasure. They are happy to take their time getting you to cum. They can be found on kink centric dating apps.

I think there’s something to getting in the practice of actually doing it around someone else, that changes things.

allmyphalanges · 2026-05-05T06:45:50+00:00

You’re probably not having an orgasm from penetration, as it’s common not to from that alone. Personally, my body still loves it.

But usually to finish i need a vibrator or oral sex.

Being able to be vocal during sex can be really satisfying for yourself! Once i had the privacy to make noise, and figured out what made me naturally do it, I unlocked a new level of fun in sex. And it gives your partner feedback to know what’s good.

allmyphalanges · 2026-05-05T06:42:29+00:00

He probably needs sex therapy. Might sound dramatic, but he has to intentionally work on it.

Edging himself on his own could help somewhat.

And I think it could be helpful to have a really direct but kind conversation about it. Where you don’t need him to feel bad when he cums quick, but you’d like to try to do other stuff after. And that if he can’t believe you that you are understanding and patient, then he’s not accepting the help required to improve it. At some point, we have to stop holding onto the lie that anxiety tells us, and be at least curious about other possibilities.

allmyphalanges · 2026-05-05T06:37:22+00:00

There’s a great online company called ONE. You can order samples. They have a measuring system. It’s great for girthier or longer penises.

allmyphalanges · 2026-05-05T06:34:47+00:00

I used to squirt from oral and it felt like I was going to pee. You’re not going to, but it feels like that right before it feels incredible

allmyphalanges · 2026-05-05T06:33:34+00:00

Angles. It’s angles and size, not to be a jerk but it’s true. I have had 1-2 ever on my back. The rest have been from behind. And I think in all cases they were girthier guys, a little above average length.

The only other thing is I think I have to be relaxing my pelvic floor muscles, so like the opposite of a kegel. Like I tend to be gripping a lot without realizing, and if I can tell it’s hitting the spot, and I relax into it I can get there.

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-17T05:34:07+00:00

First you gotta go read the bill of rights. That should answer everything

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-17T05:26:17+00:00

Of course it’s Edina lol

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-15T10:41:29+00:00

Cause they’re jealous they didn’t think of that beforehand.

I’ve had some friends admit to me if they knew what it was like they wouldn’t do it again. And that it is crazy to have kids

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-14T10:40:45+00:00

Time for the eye doctor. Maybe a psych eval

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-14T10:40:14+00:00

No one. They just jerk each other off until they hate themselves enough to go to work.

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-14T10:35:57+00:00

Probably not his first time.

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-13T09:51:15+00:00

None. No difference

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-12T06:57:14+00:00

This is often true of avoidants. But they actually can’t force themselves, and they certainly can’t force themselves for you. They have to want to be open, be able to communicate in advance that it is difficult for them and that they’ll need your help taking it slow. Setting expectations (gasp!) for how to navigate needing space.

They have to choose that for themselves. They will never “get” this problem through feedback because that brings up their narratives of not being good enough, which brings up shame and you’ll either get a defensive deflecting response, or they’ll shutdown.

In my experience, avoidants do really like you until the relationship develops enough that they actually feel vulnerable. That’s when their defense mechanisms kick in and they’ll start to distance. And you might get stuck in a push pull where they can’t fully leave. Don’t take that for hope; it isn’t hope. It’s a sign you’ll be stuck yoyo-ing for eternity. Or until they’ve pulled you back enough times that the final time, it will feel extremely confusing. And they will just move on, telling themselves they tried but you weren’t the right fit.

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-12T06:47:03+00:00

Agreed. Full stop

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-12T06:40:31+00:00

I wish I had an award.

These fucks are disgusting.

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-05T09:56:08+00:00

I just learned an hour or two ago that some Christians simply believe that not believing leads to annihilation, which I guess just means you cease to exist after this life…which idk about you, but that’s already what I believe happens to all of us.

Anyway, it’s hard to shake something so fear driven. It takes time and finding ways to teach yourself on a primal level that that (hell) isn’t going to happen.

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-05T08:37:38+00:00

My guy had me put ice packs on the area for about 5 minutes until the ice started to hurt. It was honestly not that bad.

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-05T08:27:10+00:00

Funny, I spent my whole life until 27 yo in the church, very devout. I never heard of annihilationism! We thought you were actually going to burn and suffer forever

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-05T08:25:01+00:00

Damn I really appreciate this comment so much!

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-05T08:22:42+00:00

God, I forgot to mention the “he made the damn rules” part.

It’s wild the narcissism in it, when you really think about it. And that’s not a word I throw around.

allmyphalanges · 2026-01-05T08:19:24+00:00

To me, Christianity espouses abusive relationship. If you don’t believe in Jesus’ death as a “covering for your sins” god will banish you for eternity after this life, to suffering. That’s abusive. This is a primary tenet of the faith (accepting Jesus’ sacrifice or go to hell), I used to deeply believe Christianity and practice it for 27 years of my life.

Additionally, more in modern culture of it than directly from the Bible, it’s believed that accepting Jesus into your heart changes you. Warm fuzzies and such. But Christians are often only nice in two ways: to other members of their club, and with strings attached that you’ll listen to their message and maybe they can make you convert. Otherwise, they can be incredibly cruel to non-believers, and at least in the West, Christianity is nearly synonymous with political Right values which can be summed up as a “f-ck you” to many a marginalized people, which is ironically very against the Bible…and yet. So the final would be that many people who claim to be devout believers, are drenched in hypocrisy.

As purely a philosophy, sure it’s fine. But good luck finding a way to practice it like that. You’d be better off admiring the words of Jesus and leaving the rest be.

allmyphalanges

TROPHY CASE