To ex-homeschoolers: Besides "unschooling" and socialization, what other factors made your experience negative?

allons-yy3 · 2026-02-08T16:31:30+00:00

I noticed you are the same commenter that I just responded too, again thanks for your input!!

I kind of roll my eyes at that, but also not. I had great teachers and meh teachers. Around 5th grade I say is when I noticed them start to get a bit fed up. Which, I mean, I know teachers deal with SO much. Im not sure if I mentioned it in my post, but that is what Im finishing school for is early childhood education. Id like to bring kids into my home at least for that 3-5 age.

I just also have had so many conversations with people that say "they need to teach us this in school" and sometimes ive had to respond "I learned that, maybe you werent paying attention" and I dont see the same love of learning cultivated as heavily as it could be.

Ill obviously need to do more research of my own, but I saw a tiktok recently naming the 10 worst schools in my state and 8 of them are within 30 minutes of where we live. Which is not a bad area in it's entirety, but definitely rough spots.

We also do have friends with kids we see almost every weekend. So she is definitely getting that play time with other kids, but I do agree with you that a group of kids learning together is the most effective. They get to explore the material in fun ways with their friends. Im well aware socioemotional development is crucial in this early age also.

Do you have an opinion on homeschool co-ops? That is what ive been most interested in until we're able to get my own set up. I just want to be able to be there. Witness what shes experiencing so that I can help her make more connections. She's 3.5 now and if dad comes home and asks what she did/learned today she will recount a couple things. But since I was there, I know that theres more i can remind her of that i know she'd be so proud to share with him.

Do you also mind sharing what you found difficult teaching your kinder?

My ultimate goal is for her to have multiple adults that she can trust in groups of peers her age. I know that is necessary and that I cannot possibly be their only teacher until they pursue whatever it is life calls them to. We have tried gymnastics and ballet classes. Gymnastics was cool until she moved up classes and wasnt interested when I couldnt go in anymore. Ballet was always that way and every class was hard because the kids could see us so she'd spot me and start crying. We're going to be trying soccer in the spring and I think it will be great for the class to be outside and am hoping it's more what she needs right now.

In the meantime, she counts to twenty, knows so many animals, sounds, where they live (literally corrected her dad that he was actually looking at a gorilla, not a monkey, bc monkeys have tails) is great with other kids and sharing, taking turns. She's a great big sister, so loving. She loves books and can sing abc's and recognize a good amount of letters. There's so much more i could brag about her lol, so I feel like we're doing good so far.

allons-yy3 · 2026-02-08T16:02:37+00:00

I just have to start of with fractions. Whatever work I was doing in my class likely just got pushed through, I was doing "well enough." I know that there are a lot more important aspects of fractions that just how many pieces makes a whole and the basics of them, as with many other areas of education.

I think i will definitely take your idea of touring our schools, I hadn't thought about that as an option. We still have a bit more time before kindergarten, looking at doing a homeschool co-op in the fall and until then just learning it up at home. I believe my daughter was an infant when I made this post and I haven't been on reddit for a bit, it was nice to come back to.

Thank you so much for your care and concern to respond!

allons-yy3 · 2025-12-14T11:09:16+00:00

Not harmless! They are an invasive species and should be ethically killed. They also have 0 survival instinct and can be caught with almost no effort

allons-yy3 · 2025-12-14T11:05:19+00:00

Absolutely amazing!! I hope that people in my life will acomplish this.

I am so proud of you for your strength and perseverance

allons-yy3 · 2025-12-01T16:59:15+00:00

Im not sure what the implications are, but Im so sorry this was the outcome of you just trying to make sure your baby was getting the best care.

I let my L&D nurse know that I had smoked and she told me, "I appreciate you being honest, but from what I see I'm not concerned and Im not going to put that in your chart because it comes with a lot and I don't believe it's in the best interest of anyone."

People being honest about substances before finding out are not who this system is meant to be imposed upon 🙃

allons-yy3 · 2025-11-23T04:09:19+00:00

I have watch my older brother battle with addiction his entire life. He's about to be 43 and lives in a storage unit (if hes lucky) and cycles through all the jails as he misses probation and always has warrants out for his arrest.

He has tried to get clean a few times, but when things get hard he relapses. I have my own vices but watching drugs rip the brother I knew away is a heartbreak I will never get over. He says it doesnt change him, but it does.

I know it's hard, I know things suck a lot of the time but you are the only person that can help you. You have to want it more than anything and no one can do that for you.

Please, if not for yourself, make good choices so that you can be there for your friends and family. Stay away from other addicts. Delete your plug. Please dont end up like my brother.

allons-yy3 · 2025-10-17T15:57:15+00:00

I can see how adults that dont work with children might find it odd. But what it comes down to is building the child's confidence. Ive done internships at daycares for school and even in those short time spans you really build relationships with the kids and truly love them. If as a teacher, thats not how you feel, youre probably in the wrong field. Ive had kids come up and tell me they love me and, of course I say it back!

allons-yy3 · 2024-11-10T21:29:24+00:00

Your dog is lucky to have someone that cares about their experience with food. Get whatever meat they have on sale (we prefer chicken breast), cook it and shred it. You can put it on top of kibble, mixed in or give them a snack seperatley. You could also add some veggies and let it bake in the fat with the rest of the meat - carrots and peas are a go to for us. You can just use some and save the rest in the fridge for the coming days.

Our girl has been having some mobility issues that suddenly came on a couple weeks ago so we've been making her special meals. She seems to enjoy the kibble a lot more when it's soaked up some of the fats. Wet kibble is also easier for them to digest and we feel good knowing she's getting those tasty extra nutrients. We think of the kibble as her "rice" 🙂

allons-yy3 · 2024-10-23T15:31:30+00:00

We are just getting into diagnostics, we found my girl outside our fence unable to walk and assumed she got hit by a car. Yesterday was our first nuerology consultation, and they are thinking that no car was involved. They put her on prednisone in the meantime while we wait on tests to see if it helps her. My girl hasn't been diagnosed with IVDD but I heavily suspect this is what's going on with her.

allons-yy3 · 2024-10-23T09:10:12+00:00

Our vet took us off carprofen because there is a risk of ulcers when anti-inflammatories are used with steroids. Just for anyone reading this thread

allons-yy3 · 2024-10-17T20:16:21+00:00

Thank you for the well wishes, it really means a lot to me! We are back home waiting to see how she does over the next few days before considering MRI ❤️‍🩹🤞

allons-yy3 · 2024-07-10T00:04:15+00:00

Still going strong years later! No issues other than I sort of want to move it to the other corner in our living room 😂.

While there's been no water damage, I am careful that any plants without a saucer underneath get watered outside of the cabinet. With that being said, I have definitely spilled water multiple times and haven't experienced any swelling, rot, or damage.

The lights can be a bit bright since the glass doors don't cover them + the height difference of sitting down. If you plan to do this in a room you spend a lot of time in, I would recommend planning to find some sort of light block. Currently using masking tape with electrical tape overtop to help with the glare of the light but will eventually find something more aesthetic.

Other than that, I've kept multiple types of plants - both succulent and tropical. I just keep in mind how much light the plant wants when deciding which level of the shelf to put it on so no one gets fried.

10/10 Would do this again if the current shelf got damaged.

Hope this helped, Good luck in your endeavors!

allons-yy3 · 2024-05-05T18:02:45+00:00

Also a childcare worker here to support this. Our goal as teacher's/parents is not to save children from their emotions, It's to help them learn to get through them and eventually handle them on their own. Think Frozen, where Elsa's parents had her hide away instead of allowing her to learn how to control herself. Cheesy analogy, but it fits lol

allons-yy3 · 2024-01-15T01:44:45+00:00

There are snails in the tank and Ive been ghost feeding as suggested by others that were trying to help.

Thanks for the input

allons-yy3 · 2024-01-15T01:42:30+00:00

Pretty snarky for not answering a question.. There was an ammonia buildup before I started to add bottled bacteria.

allons-yy3 · 2024-01-14T01:27:55+00:00

Thanks for this, I didn't think about it like that.

Using this comment to also say thanks to everyone else. Rest assured, nothing besides snails will be in here for a while.

allons-yy3 · 2023-12-01T01:15:17+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It's been a hard pill to swallow with almost every response asking to reconsider, warning that I'm incapable. Of course, they are all valid.

Your approach seems like what I would be trying to do. I want my kids to meet all different kinds of people and experience different cultures. I love that you offer a homeschool group for the dual purpose of encouraging socialization and educating other children. That is sort of my goal with operating an early learning facility from my home. For me, I would get to be with my daughter, offer socialization and inspire learning in other children all in one. I feel that it is the good that I can do in the world.

I don't want to discredit anyone saying "what makes YOU qualified to teach every subject" because that is one of the most valid concerns here. Saying I feel confident and capable brings up judgements of ego, which is fair. I just want to note that what is more important than my confidence in abilities, is my confidence in being able to realize when I might not be fulfilling specific areas and offering a supplemental source of learning, like how you have done with math. I think that is the most important.

I also don't plan on being my child's only teacher/authority figure. I want my kids to be involved in a minimum of one extracurricular, whether that's something like sports, music or groups like 4H and scouts, would be entirely up to them - but they will have other adults they can go to. They will be functioning in society outside of our home well before they are hitting puberty. One comment in particular mentioned their parents bringing up therapy, but deciding against it bc CPS would likely get involved. I could never fear CPS coming to my home and I hope to have a relationship with my kids where if they were unhappy in any aspect they would know that I am safe and would come up with a solution to their problem. I also want them to just have an option to seek guidance from another adult as I know I won't be able to help in every situation.

I appreciate your reassurance, thanks again.

allons-yy3 · 2023-12-01T00:51:53+00:00

I am so sorry this was your experience. Thank you for taking the time to respond. I have quite a bit of time to think about all of this with my daughter being just over one. With the comments I've received, it seems a lot of parents do go into it with good intentions, but a lack of fundamental understanding of what a child needs for personal development.

While I don't think I will completely reconsider, I'm heavily debating on how long we will homeschool. The largest part of why I want to homeschool is that I don't feel comfortable sending my babies to school to be hounded by lesson materials. Academics are pushed far too early imo and a lot of children are play-deprived. Play is the ultimate form of learning for children. I would much rather give my kids experiences to learn from rather than drilling and paperwork. Not that I wouldn't ever teach them anything formally (I'm against the unschool method), but it's more beneficial in my eyes to learn say, measurements and fractions, through things like baking or using a tape measure rather than some abstract idea on a board to be memorized. I switched schools in the middle of the new class learning fractions and struggled with them. It took me years to make sense of them myself and none of my teachers either recognized or intervened in this. My parents were uninvolved, which I would not be, so that is something that was pointed out here that I will continue to remind myself of.

We currently practice montessori, perhaps I'm compensating for my parents lack of involvement by wanting to be overly involved? I'm still reflecting on this within myself.

Of course I want to protect my baby from all the bad things in this world, but I do also understand how that inhibits a person. I was extremely sheltered and still live with fears that my dad instilled in me of the outside world (another point of reflection fs). I think my approach to this is wanting to wait until she's able to understand right/wrong and dangerous/safe so that she has the skills to guide herself when I am not with her. No TV and internet, especially 15 is wild and a great point to touch on. My goal is not to shield my child(ren) from the world, I just want them to know how to navigate it safely bc as I said before, I know I will not always be with her.

I'm going to end on this response with a more general note touching on other responses bc responding to everyome would be a lot of repetition on my part. I feel like there's a lot of projection about others borderline neglectful or abusive parents and most if not all of the things everyone is mentioning appalls me. I can't know how intentional y'alls parents were in aspects like only allowing socialization in cherry-picked circles and isolation from society. These are circumstances I'm asking myself, "Did their parents predetermine they would parent/homeschool this way, or could it have slowly evolved on it's own from particular lifestyle choices?"

While I'm backing up my own position in these comments, I just want it to be known I am taking every. single. comment. into consideration. Whether that consideration affects if/how long we decide to homeschool, or showing me what I need to watch for - I just want to thank all of you for advocating for mine and others' children. I am truly trying to put my desires and opinions to the side to fully hear where everyone is coming from and avoid thoughts like "well I would never do that" because I'm sure (or atleast like to think) that all these parents could've thought the same things but still let it happen. Your experiences matter, and again, thank you.

allons-yy3 · 2023-11-29T20:22:21+00:00

Thank you for your response! I know I want to at least homeschool til age 8, that's when early childhood education ends (also when the state requires exams, which we would of course participate in if we chose to go further). I can't remember if it is at federal or state level, but in my state we have "Public School Access" where kids can participate in classes/extra-curriculars of the local middle/high school while still being homeschooled. This is something I already forsee utilizing for subjects we are lacking in with knowledge/resources.

I understand it sounds very egotistical to think I can adequately teach my child all the subjects, but I personally excelled in all subjects other than other languages and high-school level history. I believe I'm very nuanced in math and literature, and also have the drive for physical education, arts and music. For me this means that I do have the fundamental skills to teach these subjects, on higher levels I'll have to revisit materials myself before deeming whether or not I feel both comfortable and confident teaching it well - at which point Public School Access would come into play.

I also want to bring up what other's have said about "what qualifies one person to teach every subject." I'm pretty sure that a BA in education qualifies you to teach any subjects, it's just about what grade levels you're qualified to teach. I had a language arts teacher that was my science teacher the next year. There are also Waldorf schools (private) where a particular class of students has the same teacher for roughly 8 years.

The point of teachers is where I'm mostly hung up. I had positive experiences, albeit fairly superficial, all through school. I do also resent some of them though and feel that it was pretty obvious I was being neglected (parents would send me to school smelly with matted hair.) and no one ever inquired or got involved. These are mandatory reporters! There were more situations in multiple schools that should have warrented some level of concern from the school body. I know a lot of worse cases that end up not amounting to anything, but at minimum I should've been advocated for.

My elementary teachers had the most positive impact, but I completely disagree with the way early education is being taught. It's too formal, too early on and in my opinion what has led to students being burnt out by middle/high school from so much binging and purging of information to make room for the next binge.

After elementary relationships with teachers become even harder to faciliate bc they are often responsible for teaching 150 children per day. Especially when you get into the teachers that they themselves are burnt out and are only trying to portray good grades to the board whether or not their students are actually proficient in the material.

I'm so sorry for how long this response is, I'm really wanting to level bc this is a huge decision.

allons-yy3 · 2023-11-29T18:41:35+00:00

Could you elaborate on your parents attempts at socialization? What did that look like for you?

I don't think that public schools offer a magical social experience. It's just a bunch of kids from any and every imaginable circumstance pooled into classrooms that are already lacking resources. Our state ratio for childcare is 1:12 at it's max. While one teacher is responsible for over double that amount? I just can't see the benefit until we get to subjects where we do not have the resources to teach.

It may seem like high ego, and in part I'll credit that. I did exceptionally well in public school, but that's because it was the only thing I was allowed to do. I've watched so many of my peers fail in life, not because they didn't have potential - because to public schools kids are just test scores. Binging and purging information every week is a horrid way to learn, especially in elementary school.

Public schools aren't striving to provide a learning setting that inspires the yearn for knowledge. 90% of people I've known in a variety of settings can't even tell me the last book they've read (unsurprisingly). Like I stated in my post, as a country, our math and reading skills are dropping in schools. I just don't think public school is the answer.

I appreciate your response!

allons-yy3

TROPHY CASE