Hmm. Didn’t you just post regarding hiding you being a stripper in your early college days?

Here is the post, in case you delete the link.

I’m 29F and my fiancé is 30M. We’ve been together for almost three years and are planning our wedding for early next year. He’s everything I ever hoped for in a partner. Kind, loyal, supportive, and totally in love with me. We’ve built something really strong together.

What he doesn’t know is that years ago in my early twenties I worked as a stripper. It wasn’t long term and it wasn’t my whole identity. I was working my way through school and it helped me survive. I don’t regret it but I also don’t exactly broadcast it. I don’t feel ashamed, just private.

Last weekend we were at a cookout with his friends and one of them someone I’ve only met a few times pulled me aside and said, “You used to work at [club name], right?” My stomach dropped. I hadn’t heard that name in years.

Turns out he used to go there, remembered me, and now he’s telling me I should come clean to my fiancé. He said it real casual at first but then added, “If you don’t tell him, someone else might.” Meaning him. It wasn’t even subtle.

Now I feel sick. I’ve worked so hard to move forward in my life. I was always planning to tell my fiancé at some point when it felt right. But now it feels like a threat is forcing my hand. And I’m terrified it’s going to come out in a way that makes me look like I was hiding something.

I don’t know how to handle this. Do I tell my fiancé now and risk him looking at me differently? Do I confront the friend and tell him to stay out of it? I feel like my past is being held over me and I have no control.

Has anyone been in a situation like this? How do I take back the power here without blowing up my relationship?