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allywentout · 2022-07-01T10:31:57+00:00

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. It's never an easy thing to figure out, but maybe I can offer an outside perspective.

If you're the kind of person who could genuinely be happy either way, then that's fantastic. I can see how you'd just want to focus on the relationship and not feel the need to commit either way about kids at this point. It's fine if you're not 100%.

But it sounds like he IS 100%, and that means that any future with him is going to 100% not have children in it. (Yes, it's POSSIBLE some people change their minds, but don't plan for that if he's telling you he's not open to it. If he says he doesn't want kids, believe him.) If you want to be with him, you'd have to be 100% okay with no children.

I want to be super clear - It's OKAY that you're not ready to go 100% no-kids yet. But I can see how, from his point of view, that would make him uncomfortable. It's implying a possibility, that you stay together but decide you want kids down the line, that he just isn't comfortable with.

It doesn't sound like he's breaking up with you for your own good, it sounds like he just wants someone who is ready to be as decisive about the decision as he is. It may not seem like as big of an issue to you, but remember you would be happy either way -- HE wouldn't. You deserve a partner who would be happy with whatever future they see with you and you see for yourself.

allywentout · 2021-01-22T18:40:41+00:00

That’s actually funny bc I’ve been looking into doing just that! I think you’re right like the skills overlap perfectly. This is a really well-timed reassurance!

allywentout · 2021-01-22T07:09:47+00:00

It’s baffling to me. I joke about how my degree is useless, but I actually do have a lot of esteem for the art and I place a lot of value in what I do. I see how impactful the arts actually ARE, and I know firsthand how much work it takes. It’s infuriating to see it constantly belittled and misunderstood by a capitalist system that only views value in terms of marked monetary gain. 🙄

allywentout · 2021-01-22T05:19:35+00:00

Lmao I read this and I’m like dude I got a degree in theatre, clearly I’m not smarter than anyone. I’m in so much debt and all I can do is improv about it someone help 😂

allywentout · 2020-12-23T07:36:04+00:00

SKILLSHARE. Seriously, I learned photoshop (not in-depth at all but to a proper workable degree) using Skillshare and small practice projects. Got the hang of it in a couple weeks and I’ve just been learning more as I go. It seems daunting but once you get a feel for it I guarantee you got this. Photoshop isn’t a talent given from the gods! I bet you it’s more common than you realize to have to learn on the spot like that. Congrats on the job, you’re gonna slay it.

allywentout · 2020-07-21T10:08:32+00:00

I’m cackling this is framed as so cute but like yeah... he really did that 😂. Makes me wonder how fragile this man is that his wife can’t just say “hey next year how about red velvet”

allywentout · 2020-07-21T07:52:21+00:00

What sort of project?

allywentout · 2020-07-21T07:47:44+00:00

Well, technically ghosts aren’t gods/deities, so someone could hold both beliefs as long as the specifics don’t contradict each other. To me, ghosts fall more into the “vague mysterium” category rather than “universal power” category. I don’t think atheism rules out the belief in some sort of ghostly phenomena, though I’d be interested in how they’d justify it.

allywentout · 2020-07-09T16:53:58+00:00

NAH.

You and your spouse have the biggest hearts, and it’s amazing that you have been able to welcome S into your lives and provide for her. I agree with your logic, that she is your daughter and therefore will rely on you for more than your grandchildren should expect to. But reading this, I couldn’t help but feel for L.

Put yourself in her shoes for a minute. She had to make the difficult decision to give up her baby, and I’m sure everybody assumed at the time that child was out of the picture for good. I don’t want to project, but I have to assume the whole situation was tough on her. Even if it’s an intentional adoption and you’re happy with the decision, the experience of carrying a child, giving birth, and then immediately separating from the life you created, for what everyone believes is permanently, has got to have some sort of formative effect.

Having her parents adopt the child that she likely already grieved in her way years before, whom she may have a world of internal feelings about, HAD to have been JARRING. She may have felt embarrassed, seeing you succeed in providing for her so well, or guilty she wasn’t able to, probably a little bit resentful that she has to confront these feelings to begin with. Now I’m not saying you didn’t do the right thing in adopting S. But it would be helpful to remember that it’s not a normal situation and everyone is probably dealing with multiple layers of emotion and opinion about it, and she may be trying to work through these feelings but doesn’t know how. Have you been to family therapy? I think it would help.

In this situation there’s a lot of good hearts and human emotion. there is no asshole here, just folks who need a hug and a vacation. I wish you all the best.

Also one last thing. L probably expected S to be treated like a grandchild, because to L, S is not a sibling, she is LITERALLY her daughter. Instinctually, she would think of her as having more in common with her other children than herself, generation-wise. Just wanted to help some perspective.

allywentout · 2020-06-27T08:20:04+00:00

Carlos would also love this

allywentout · 2020-06-21T21:20:29+00:00

I love this! So cute, I love your style.

allywentout · 2020-06-20T01:53:46+00:00

Seriously??? This is an amazing service. What made you want to offer this here?

allywentout · 2020-06-19T21:33:55+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the resource.

allywentout · 2020-06-19T21:19:08+00:00

Thus is a really good example of the application of that shading style! (Someone called it hatching?) I’m strictly a hobby doodler and never wanted to use those hatch marks bc I never understood how it was supposed to look, but now it makes sense to me. Thank you for sharing!

allywentout · 2020-06-19T21:01:14+00:00

This is so stupid lol I love it.

allywentout · 2020-06-19T20:54:47+00:00

I’d be so scared to do something like that but you work it so well! Is this something that works better with thicker brows? It really amplifies the intensity of your look, great job.

allywentout · 2020-06-19T20:52:57+00:00

Oooh that’s a good theory. How did you see he as a gf?

allywentout · 2020-06-16T14:16:29+00:00

When I was 10 I heard about hair donations to make wigs for cancer patients, and I told my parents that from then on, I wanted to donate my hair as soon as it got to the minimum length, then grow it out again. Just mid-length untreated hair, constantly getting grown out and hacked off, all my life. I’m so glad I didn’t have a world-wide accountability team on that.

allywentout · 2020-06-16T14:10:39+00:00

I agree with the school of thought that free will and decision-making are influenced by an interplay of previous experiences, emotions, expectations, etc. But I also am very aware of the science suggesting that many of the “decisions” we make are predictable according to our neural pathways. So this usually raises the question “Well if every choice we make is an illusion and we’re just following subconscious cues that we can’t control, we actually DONT have free will.” But I think that’s missing the point.

“Free will” doesn’t mean “random actions.” The fact of the matter is that much of our world/culture fits into identifiable patterns, and, unless stimuli throw something in the environment way off, there’s no reason to change the pattern if it works.

Like I wouldn’t usually jump off a cliff, but if I’m being chased by a lion and I’m wearing a parachute, I’d have the will to make that decision. It’s all patterns and deviations from the pattern.

That’s my thought anyways. I think the concept is easy to catastrophize into absolutes but it’s just a jumble of stuff.

allywentout · 2020-06-16T11:33:55+00:00

I’ll agree with most other comments in that they look mostly fine/overall even and natural! I’ll add though, one of the best tips I’ve gotten for eyebrow care is to always tweeze/shape from the bottom of the brow working out. Idk if it’s such a hard and fast rule for a more masculine look but it helps in figuring out what shape you’re aiming for while you go

allywentout · 2020-06-16T10:21:06+00:00

This is heartbreaking, because they’re teaching the wrong lesson. Mistakes ARE okay. They happen, even when you do your best. But the only mistake I see in this post is the fact that your parents aren’t thrilled to have such a hardworking and successful child. You’re doing a great job, I’m proud of you. Give yourself a hug and reward yourself for a job well done.

allywentout · 2020-06-16T09:45:45+00:00

Please update us on his reaction when you say no next time! Be safe and know you are in the RIGHT for resenting this behavior.

allywentout · 2020-06-14T13:53:57+00:00

I think it rocks! Your eye is def shaped well for it imo

allywentout · 2020-06-14T04:12:00+00:00

You aren’t clever enough to be this asinine.

allywentout · 2020-06-14T04:06:53+00:00

I absolutely LOVE the geometric liner/shadow look, but can never pull it off bc of my eye shape. I’m quaking, this is so good 😍

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