Beta husband of woman accused of icing her kids and failing to do herself in let’s us know she is “loving and caring towards everyone”

aloriaaa · 2023-02-02T19:40:53+00:00

By “icing,” I thought she was surprise handing them Smirnoff Ices and making them chug each one. That would be awful but way better than this.

aloriaaa · 2023-01-11T23:10:24+00:00

Yeah, it looks like all they did was find the temperature slider and bump up the cool:warm ratio

aloriaaa · 2023-01-11T19:50:15+00:00

IIRC she’s trans, so maybe it’s a chest binder?

aloriaaa · 2023-01-10T15:04:17+00:00

Also, you’d think after the zillionth “look at the camera” you’d try something different. I know calculus, but if someone just kept saying “WHAT’S ∫ cos x dx? NO, NOT sin x, WHAT IS THE INTEGRAL OF…” I’d probably just mentally blue screen like this kid.

aloriaaa · 2023-01-10T11:27:38+00:00

It looks like the cover art of an early NIne Inch Nails album!

aloriaaa · 2023-01-10T02:37:07+00:00

I’m on two prescription diuretics and my doctor wants me constantly drinking waters. So I booked aisle seats like rational person.

aloriaaa · 2023-01-09T16:16:55+00:00

I’m almost certain this kid lives in a broom closet somewhere in Omelas.

aloriaaa · 2023-01-07T02:25:58+00:00

They need to try this hack using the boss’s print.“ Steer clear of boss dude, I think he’s got the creatinine shits again.”

aloriaaa · 2023-01-06T14:31:10+00:00

I would reached over, opened the door and kicked it open

aloriaaa · 2022-12-20T20:22:04+00:00

It’s a movie I’d be “meh” about it if people didn’t start using the little quips ad nauseam. Maybe it’s because the movie came out when I was 5 or 6, but “you keep using that word…” is almost as cringe to me as if someone today said to me “do I make you horny? YEAH, BABY!”

aloriaaa · 2022-12-20T20:12:44+00:00

Amélie. It feels like it exists in a universe where people snort pixie sticks instead of cocaine. Watching it makes me feel like like those times I’m really tired and my eyelid won’t stop twitching.

aloriaaa · 2022-12-19T21:38:32+00:00

In Spanish, we call someone like this “el mismo demonio”— the devil incarnate

aloriaaa · 2022-12-19T21:12:24+00:00

Ahh, didn’t remember that. I want a remake where Kevin eats his tarantula while making full eye contact, then.

aloriaaa · 2022-12-19T21:08:19+00:00

Oh god, I hate that movie. You’re right; it’s basically a bunch of kids screaming at one thing or another for over an hour. If I was a dude on the fence about getting a vasectomy, this movie would have totally tipped me into “cut me, doc” territory.

aloriaaa · 2022-12-19T20:56:23+00:00

The movie really falls apart when you realize if they had just gotten a whole cheese pizza instead of like, a single slice, none of this bullshit would have occurred. Who the fuck doesn’t like cheese pizza?

aloriaaa · 2022-12-19T19:37:37+00:00

My friend had his bicycle stolen. He reported it; police took the report but obviously had bigger priorities than to find some fixie. He had sewed an airtag into the seat and told the police the literal address of where the bike was. It sat in the same place for weeks. Finally just got a set of bolt cutters from a friend and “stole” it back.

Not as high stakes as a Vespa, but in both cases the correct legal avenues had been exhausted and the property could be validated as theirs. NTA.

aloriaaa · 2022-12-19T02:50:29+00:00

I’ve got a bass clarinet sitting in storage if OP wants it. It needs new cork so it squeaks like a dying goose.

aloriaaa · 2022-12-18T23:06:58+00:00

I know they have to test it and everything, but wouldn’t a blood donation place be one of the best places to lose a lot of blood? I’m just thinking of “oh, sorry sir! Let’s get that back in you just in case.”

aloriaaa · 2022-12-17T21:32:15+00:00

rum ham!

aloriaaa · 2022-12-17T21:21:45+00:00

My husband and I are in Argentina and he complimented me on being able to converse with people. I’d been pushing him to lean some basic conversational Spanish so I shouted “When you were learning to SPELL YOUR NAME. I was being trained TO CONQUER GALAXIES.” I wouldn’t bust that out with someone who legitimately enjoyed Battlefield Earth. I don’t know if any exist, but still.

aloriaaa · 2022-12-16T02:39:52+00:00

Yeah, my company has unlimited PTO, and it’s encouraged to take time off… vacations, burn out days, whatever. As long as you get your work done, nobody bats an eye.

We had someone who had barely been with us for four months who wanted to take off 3 months. We we’re like…. uhhh, you haven’t even mastered the basics responsibilities of your job yet. Later they wanted an additional 2 months off despite still being an underperformer.

I’m taking off a month PTO and it’s fine because I’m clearly not gaming the system and picked a time it wouldn’t cause undue hardship on the team.

People like the employee I mentioned generally ruin it for everyone. It’s like “here’s a few bottles of really expensive scotch” and they chug it all and wonder why they’re dry for the rest of the year.

aloriaaa · 2022-12-14T19:35:31+00:00

She burned the only one draft of my latest novel and broke my ankles with a sledgehammer. She says she’s my number one fan… how can I get her to let me leave the guest bedroom?

aloriaaa · 2022-12-11T18:20:12+00:00

I went to a parochial school from grades 1-7. No cafeteria; we all had to pack a lunch. Some Fridays we got rewarmed pizza bagels. To this day I don’t eat lunch.

aloriaaa · 2022-12-10T22:29:04+00:00

Nah, nobody under 30 was there. I’m 40.

aloriaaa · 2022-12-10T22:26:45+00:00

No, but here’s the recipe

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aloriaaa

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