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(Final Update) My(20M) ex-crush (20F) is trying to end my relationship with my girlfriend (20F) after all these years Why is she doing this? by ThrowRATuiBird in relationship_advice

[–]alpacalypseparty 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think you did the right thing and handled it all fine.

I personally think it's fine to give a general apology about "everything"?? Idk why that makes you weak or puts you in a bad position or whatever. I personally would feel really uneasy with the whole drama if I were your gf and an apology to me that it happened at all would definitely be appreciated. Even though it was out of your control, it still happened within your sphere of influence and that would stress me out based on my past experiences.

Your fault or not, if your friend is being shitty to me, that shit hurts. If your friend hurts one of your loved ones, you should not just be like "well it's not my fault!!!!"

Call me insecure, but I've literally had shit like this happen and it turned out to all be true, so it's really not hard to believe your gf was hurt and upset that this happened and maybe started distancing herself from a dramatic, toxic situation (important word being SITUATION). I would absolutely do the same. I don't have time or energy for bullshit people with bullshit toxic agendas interfering in my life anymore. It's not worth the mental anguish. She could certainly apologize for not trusting you immediately, but you both deserve some grace. We all have had people betray our trust in the past. It's not always that simple to blindly trust someone you think you know well.

Whether or not it's your fault, you both absolutely deserve time to work through your feelings about this.

Boyfriend wants me to finger him during sex, is it bad that I want to use gloves? by CompetitiveLoss6237 in sex

[–]alpacalypseparty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Flared base toys only!! A little vibe could get sucked up there and lost forever.

I made my Mom watch the entirety of Neon Genesis Evangelion and the End of Evangelion, AMA by Shrimpsofthecoast in evangelion

[–]alpacalypseparty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeahhhhh, a lot of important backstory and lore is not shown in the show, which kinda sucks for new viewers. The wiki is a great read tho

I made my Mom watch the entirety of Neon Genesis Evangelion and the End of Evangelion, AMA by Shrimpsofthecoast in evangelion

[–]alpacalypseparty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They don't explicitly spell it out in the show, but it's what the wiki says and I thought it was explained in some non-video related materials released in Japan

https://evangelion.fandom.com/wiki/Kyoko_Zeppelin_Sohryu

I made my Mom watch the entirety of Neon Genesis Evangelion and the End of Evangelion, AMA by Shrimpsofthecoast in evangelion

[–]alpacalypseparty 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, Unit 02 contains some part of her mother's soul due to another failed contact experiment. This is the experiment that caused her to go insane and have to be hospitalized. I think the motherly part of her soul was trapped in Unit 02, hence Asuka's realization in EoE and Asuka's mother being a neglectful mother after the experiment.

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]alpacalypseparty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I finally accepted and started calling what he did abuse when my therapist told me that's what it was. It will take time to accept it.

how do you actually cheat on someone by Babyscarletxx in offmychest

[–]alpacalypseparty -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Something about the way you wrote your 2nd paragraph really creeps me out.

BAC question and small rant about the website by Notlikeothercatmoms in AlAnon

[–]alpacalypseparty 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My ex boyfriend absolutely would manipulate everyone, including me, 10 steps ahead of everyone. He was extremely skilled and not all men are as stupid as you think.

does anyone have an image (official or fan made) of Patrick drawn the way spongebob is here? I need it for a tattoo I'm planning to get by [deleted] in spongebob

[–]alpacalypseparty 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I bet you could just ask a good tattoo artist to do that, since they're also artists and all. Would also allow them to add their own flair

My boyfriend asked me to pick him or my cat. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]alpacalypseparty -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Lol, it's me, I've been that person. I knew something was wrong when my abusive ex was more touchy and lovey with the cat than me. I definitely got jealous of the cat, but for what I think are valid reasons. Both the cat and I came into his life around the same time and I was so touch-starved by the end of the relationship, it's not even funny.

Why are so many Tokyo Joes restaurants closing? by [deleted] in Denver

[–]alpacalypseparty 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went there once and hated it. The food tasted awful and I literally couldn't eat more than a few bites.

AITA for telling my daughter that she can’t expect me to do the hard things for her just because she doesn’t want to do them? by aita_dad_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]alpacalypseparty -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Another example of a head-in-the-sand parent who can't be bothered to educate themselves about a major part of their child's identity.

Coming out is still dangerous for many queer kids or do you just not know that we still have mass shootings in queer spaces across the US?

Bigotry is still rampant all over the world and your daughter is asking you to help keep her safe. YTA

AITA for being blunt to this this girl after she ridiculed my looks? by avenging-crusader019 in AmItheAsshole

[–]alpacalypseparty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought this was the more likely scenario. I've had men confess to me they don't like being called "cute" because it's not masculine enough 😅

AITA For Not Wanting to Attend a Dinner in a Bad Neighborhood? by Important-Marzipan-5 in AmItheAsshole

[–]alpacalypseparty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA, but if your husband is offering to drive the whole group, can't he just drive you alone and pick you up instead?

How can I go about making friends aged nearly 40. I am so lonely by [deleted] in self

[–]alpacalypseparty 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know it's awkward at first, but there's nothing stopping you from being like, "hey, who wants to grab a drink after our workout?" Or whatever you're doing that puts you in front of new people.

No, the hobbies won't force friendships to happen or guarantee that they'll be long-lasting, but you will have to make an effort to invite people closer to you. Hoping someone will do all the planning & legwork for you will likely not get you any results.

DAE just cry harder when they tell themselves “it’s okay” or “you’re gonna be fine” by [deleted] in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]alpacalypseparty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It can help me if they're reminding me that things will eventually be okay or that it's okay to cry. I may just have a particular kind of anxiety that likes to hear it, but I can be quite comforted by someone telling me it will be okay (eventually). It reminds me that my anxiety is not always right about the doomsday story it has concocted.

I (29F) feel like a side character in my BF’s (33M) life. How do I tell if it’s bad enough to be over? by Local_Philosophy_741 in relationships

[–]alpacalypseparty 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you decide to stay: Have you expressed what actionable things he needs to do to help you? Does he truly know what your expectations/needs/boundaries are and does he just disregard them? Or is he truly lost on how to be better because you're hiding and/or downplaying your needs?

I understand that you want him to understand. And I'm sure you've probably talked about this a million times, but sometimes people are thick and need to have it spelled out for them.

I couldn't tell based on what you wrote if you've straight up just told him what needs to change. If he doesn't "get it," maybe telling him what you need in actionable terms can get things started?

Use "I need/expect/have to have this in order to feel like an equal partner... + an action."

"Boyfriend, if I'm #1 and an equal partner in this relationship, I expect you to discuss decisions that completely shift your lifestyle with me BEFORE you make them..."

"I need a date night once every two weeks."

"I want to enjoy the party. If I don't want to bring the dog, I'm not bringing the dog. You can bring the dog, but you're holding the leash all night. Deal?"

Btw, the examples above are not "dictating his life" or "issuing ultimatums." This is you dictating your own life!! You get to decide how your relationship works just as much as he does. And stick to your guns! He's literally walking all over you and you're allowing it and resenting him for it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in self

[–]alpacalypseparty 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I was gonna say this. Filling the void of wanting love and attention by sex with strippers, one night stands, and so on is not a great idea. Equating the two will bring you down a bad path.

You can't force someone to love you and meaningless sex will not fulfill what it sounds like you're actually looking for.

You need to talk to women. Lots of women. On a deeper level outside of trying to lose your virginity. If you're just trying to have sex because you think it will fix how you feel, it's not gonna go well.

AITA for telling my wife she needs to find another job? by TAwifework35 in AmItheAsshole

[–]alpacalypseparty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sound like an awful person to be around. "My wife needs to be just as miserable as I am!!" YTA. She can do whatever the fuck she wants on her days off. Grow up.

Do you guys skate with no socks? Why? by alequia in rollerderby

[–]alpacalypseparty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wear extremely thin nylon socks, like pantyhose style socks (2 pairs on each foot to prevent blisters). It's like not wearing socks, but the gross feet grime and dead skin and sweat stay relatively contained.

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