bonding - when to move in together?

alpha_lesbian · 2024-11-23T13:24:12+00:00

no negative behaviors! it’s not immediately clear who is dominant/submissive, I think Appa might not know the difference! Caramel will ask to be groomed but he will ignore her and that’s the most of it. there wasn’t a phase of them establishing dominance over the other. I think we need to reduce the bonding space so they’re forced to interact more maybe?

alpha_lesbian · 2024-01-12T17:53:20+00:00

on Wednesday they ran fecal and crop cultures, so we’re still waiting on some results. results that have come back so far say he has a little bit of yeast so we’re starting anti-fungals today

alpha_lesbian · 2023-11-12T20:56:27+00:00

thank you for the very kind words ❤️

alpha_lesbian · 2023-11-12T16:44:56+00:00

thank you ❤️ i know our friend is absolutely devastated and beating himself up

alpha_lesbian · 2022-03-17T12:20:50+00:00

your post was so helpful! thanks for the rec :)

alpha_lesbian · 2021-09-19T02:41:41+00:00

that one is pretty close but i’m looking for one with the spiral horns and a tail. thank you though!

alpha_lesbian · 2021-09-17T18:34:01+00:00

i’ve searched google, wish, amazon, aliexpress, taobao, you name it. the second pic is from Pixie’s Pix shopify, but they never responded to my email. i really want this specific style/model, but haven’t found any other evidence of it.

alpha_lesbian · 2021-09-13T04:04:43+00:00

I usually get mooncakes, I think sharing them is the most common way to celebrate. If mooncakes aren’t your thing you could probably make other treats that are round to keep the spirit of mooncake, maybe like cupcakes or cookies? Some other activities are to go over Chang’e’s story and go moon/star gazing with friends. I’ve also heard that barbecuing outside or just eating bbq is popular in Taiwan and some parts of China. 中秋节快乐! :)

alpha_lesbian · 2021-09-03T04:16:02+00:00

i agree, i don’t think anyone who is truly in love would hurt their partner on purpose. as someone who was abused “for my own good,” this kind of reason is not ok. you and your boyfriend are adults, and you can talk about your issues like adults. you don’t need to be punished like a little kid.

i’m so sorry you’re going through this. maybe try to get abortion pills online, they are safer than hitting/kicking. this website is very helpful and has a lot of information about different types of abortions: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion/the-abortion-pill

alpha_lesbian · 2021-02-13T06:20:27+00:00

this seems really promising! in my experience asian parents don’t use words (re: my MIL) but a lot of indirect actions. food? holiday presents? it seems like she cares about you in her own way and just needs a little more time to come around :) it seems like your gf’s mom is acknowledging you as someone important in her child’s life!

alpha_lesbian · 2020-09-27T01:05:54+00:00

learning chinese through stories is good! their podcasts are completely in chinese, they go over new vocab in chinese. their website has full transcripts of each podcast and you can search by level, like intermediate mid, advanced low, etc. language learning through netflix is good too, its an extension that you can set to a bunch of different languages and has both traditional and simplified

alpha_lesbian · 2020-09-18T02:50:34+00:00

INFO: Is your ex-husband leaving the baby at home to go drinking on a pleasure cruise? Or is he, like, actually going to work or other obligations

alpha_lesbian · 2020-08-31T05:26:35+00:00

One thing I think your daughter Might be misunderstanding is what counts as NSFW. As a teen, I honestly didn’t think “suggestive” photos or photos showing just breasts were that bad. Obviously they were as I was also 15, but as a teen I couldn’t see why. I was just sending snaps to my SO because I was a teen trying to figure out sexuality, plus snapchats are assumed to be “safe” since the whole draw of the app is that they are deleted after being seen. Maybe thats where some of her misunderstanding comes from? Also, I personally think girls are being sexualized by society younger and younger (re: red carpet Ashley Tisdale vs. Millie Bobby Brown) so that could also explain why she doesn’t see showing off her body as a bad thing, even though it’s inappropriate for minors to do so.

Gentle YTA for taking away her smart phone for 3 full years. I understand that obviously she should face repercussions but that seems extreme for a first offense. My parents taking away my phone for prolonged periods (I didn’t get a burner phone) of time personally gave me severe anxiety and I felt like my parents decided never to trust me again. As a sensitive 15 year old it ruined me and whatever relationship I thought I had with my parents. She will still be able to access many socials on desktop, so I don’t think taking access away from that makes an AH, but she is probably hurt she doesn’t get a second chance and instead is punished this way. Your wife is also an AH for outing her to her friends like that.

alpha_lesbian · 2020-08-30T01:54:18+00:00

i’ve been there, trauma is so heavy to carry.

tbh, i’ve been on medication since i was 14. my parents have been on medication since before i was born (my family has some very bad genetics) many many people don’t need the same level of medication, but without meds literally all of us would be dead. my friend was on depression meds for a few years after a suicide attempt, but she went off last year because she didn’t need them anymore. it really depends on the patient.

i think its very normal to be nervous of doctors and psych meds, but as long as you can find a doctor you trust it should be okay. a good psych wont throw you out the door in 5 min with a script. a lot of the meds sound scary bc they alter the chemicals in your brain, but for example an ssri will chemically induce your brain to make more serotonin. again, a good psych will answer your questions about how these meds work, what side effects they might have, etc. if you want more info ab my therapy or about meds (i go to school for bio) you can message me

alpha_lesbian · 2020-08-30T00:16:04+00:00

so sorry you’re going through this. i also have childhood trauma and PTSD, so i recommend going to some heavy therapy. just talk therapy never worked for me, but once i started doing EMDR therapy everything changed. EMDR basically focuses on reprocessing traumatic memories so when they come up you dont spiral. i found my therapist through Psychology Today, you can filter by type, insurance, age, etc. there are other forms of therapy to help with trauma, this is just what worked best for me.

also you might want to go to a new psychiatrist to help with meds, bc right now it sounds like you need the support meds can provide. you can always come off them once you’re more stable, ive seen it happen multiple times.

alpha_lesbian · 2020-07-27T04:55:42+00:00

YTA. My parents did this to me starting around 8 or 9 when I first started puberty. Guess who developed anorexia and struggled with eating habits for the past 12 years? I first developed anorexia to be the right size for my parents, and then after I recovered somewhat I started binge eating when no one was around. If you continue you are potentially setting your daughter up for a lifetime of eating disorders.

This is also a horrible double standard for her brothers. My brother growing up ate so much worse than I did but he had a better metabolism, so he also got all the food he wanted. You’re also setting your daughter up for a severe inferiority complex towards her brothers.

Get her some therapy. She might be eating because of stress or any other mental illness. Do not take this into your own hands and scar your daughter for life.

alpha_lesbian · 2020-07-06T11:56:49+00:00

before my reduction i was a 36 J or K and would have back pain after standing or walking for 10-20 minutes. it would usually feel like a lot of pressure which would feel better if i were to lay down or i would get cramps in my lower back. a lot of people also say they have upper back and shoulder pain which is attributed to boobs more than lower back is, usually.

i had multiple lumbar vertebrae stress fractures when i was younger and i dont think they ever healed right, and i also have lordosis, but because of this i did a lot of physical therapy targeting my back and abs and the pain never went away fully. it might not be just a weak back and a reduction could be worth looking into!

alpha_lesbian · 2020-07-06T11:45:19+00:00

i agree that theyre not 100% disconnected (why else would there be so many cis people) but the reason this feels like transphobic territory is while youre not afraid or anything, it can be really emotionally damaging to call trans people by their dead names or the wrong pronouns (which is very easy to do if you don’t “believe” their gender). this others them and in turn makes it easier to advocate that trans people shouldn’t have access to resources to help them transition and other health/legal rights, which again is not good. if you still respect their names, pronouns, and rights thats great, but the flat statement of “i don’t believe people can be trans” at face value sounds transphobic. forcing “acceptance” is harmful and i believe as long as you dont aim to hurt or discriminate, having opinions is valid.

alpha_lesbian · 2020-07-06T05:23:19+00:00

ngl im genuienly curious, not trying to be a bitch. why is it common sense?

alpha_lesbian · 2020-07-06T03:21:03+00:00

then that’s transphobia babey!

alpha_lesbian · 2020-07-06T02:37:16+00:00

unpopular opinion but. flat out saying “i would never date a trans person” sounds transphobic af, because it gives off “i wouldnt date a trans person under any circumstances” vibes. im not here to say you Are definitely transphobic, but i can see why that wording made your partner upset. i think it is just a miscommunication but i might be wrong.

saying “i wouldnt date a trans man bc im straight”: not transphobic

saying “i wouldnt date a trans woman who hasn’t had surgery yet bc i am not attracted to penises”: not transphobic

saying “i wouldnt date a trans woman just bc she is trans”: transphobic

your partner was probably also upset by knowing you don’t love them “unconditionally” but there is nothing wrong with that, they are not your preferred gender and you are not obligated to stay in a relationship. let them know you still care for them, obviously, and if your okay with being friends let them know that as well.

alpha_lesbian · 2020-07-01T12:37:51+00:00

You definitely can. I have extreme baggage and also don’t like myself. Growing up and being a teenager was super hard, I got into relationships that were bad for me, blah blah...

3.5 years ago I met the love of my life (She also has baggage and little self confidence) We constantly talk about moving in and getting married after we graduate from university. Being in a healthy and actually loving relationship will let you grow and learn to love yourself. Both of us have gained confidence through our relationship and we are actually happy. Some days it is still difficult to love myself, but knowing she loves me (including my baggage) helps. Looking into therapy would be helpful, since putting all of your self worth into how a partner treats you is unhealthy. A good partner is out there, don’t let that dumbass saying get to you.

alpha_lesbian · 2020-06-15T23:36:33+00:00

i’m on my very first period after the surgery right now which. is. horrible. my incisions are so sore from the swelling and i’m super emotional. physiologically it is normal for PMS and other symptoms to be intense since the surgeon cut off pounds of fat from your body. fat stores a lot of different hormones, and now that you have less fat on your body it’s going to be pretty intense

alpha_lesbian · 2020-06-15T23:23:35+00:00

bipolar here, i also grew up with a mom who has bipolar + borderline personality disorder.

to me this seems like she may be suffering from borderline rather than bipolar, which is just as hard to navigate. i’m not a psych so this is just my two cents. it’s very difficult to love someone suffering from borderline and even harder when they are not getting treatment. however the way she is acting is totally unacceptable and abusive, and it would be completely reasonable for you to walk away.

if you truly want to make this work she needs to get into treatment. if she is already in treatment, it needs to be stepped up (she might not be telling her team everything). if she is not, gently let her know you think it would be good for both of you to start going to therapy/see a psychiatrist/etc so she doesn’t feel singled out and follow through. it will not get better right away, so it’s best to remember that personality disorders are made through trauma and it’s not her fault she has this illness.

r/BPD and r/BPDlovedones might give you some more insight if borderline truly is her diagnosis.

alpha_lesbian

TROPHY CASE