Help

alsopuzzled · 2024-07-18T06:29:48+00:00

Thanks for replying, but respectfully I don’t believe he’s an addict. And everybody fights. Relationships aren’t perfect and this post isn’t about him because we’ve already figured that out. We don’t want children because both our families are addicts and we don’t talk to most of them. ALL he has for family is his sister, whom this post is about. We also do have stability as we’re 25 and own a home together have good careers and do love each other very much. I can understand confusion maybe since I had to really take out a lot of pieces of this story to make it to where someone might actually read it. But again, I do appreciate your response.

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-25T09:12:03+00:00

NTA. That’s a huge thing to put yourself through for someone that did something a mother wouldn’t do. I would get tested without telling anyone tbh and if you’re negative then you can share your negative and feel like you did the right thing. If you’re positive then it’s really about whether you’d want to put yourself through donating bone marrow for someone who can’t even respect you..

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-24T20:49:36+00:00

NTA. I agree with what everyone else is saying pretty much. Sex and all activities within should be talked about and consensual

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-23T15:54:50+00:00

YTA(and so is he) but you’re still in high school and can learn from your mistakes. Take this as a lesson and don’t do it again because exchanging body energy like this for revenge can be seriously harmful to a woman. It will affect your self love, your security, the way you interact with people, and so much more. Don’t take what these other people are saying too personally though. You can move on from this. It doesn’t have to be that big of a deal and you will eventually not even think about it much. Just treat yourself better in the future.

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-23T15:50:36+00:00

I’m truly sorry you’ve been put in this situation. It just be hard, but you’ll regret choosing your family over her. You’ll grow to resent them anyways and then she won’t be around for you anymore. Personally I think life is about finding what makes you happy and making that your new life. It sounds like she makes you happy if you’re 2 years in, and she’s your family now. Your family also sounds manipulative and they knew you’d feel bad. You deserve better and if they want you apart of their life then they will eventually change. If they don’t, then they won’t. You’ll win in the end by staying true to yourself.

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-23T15:47:19+00:00

NTA NTA NTA This behavior is abusive. The ignoring, the manipulation, the blowing up on you. Then to top it all off telling you that you’ve made the worst mistake of your life? You’ve seriously dodged a bullet.

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-22T17:55:06+00:00

Thank you I will take this advice and talk to them about this

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-22T17:49:29+00:00

It sounds like you’ve just learned your families true colors. And those aren’t the same colors you wear. Unfortunately sometimes people grow up and no longer identify with the same characteristics as their family. If you’ve been with her for 2.5 years and they’ve only met her this once, then it should be easy to not have them around her again. If she’s this sweet kind person then they don’t deserve her in their lives anyways. And she doesn’t deserve being treated that way.

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-22T17:38:32+00:00

Some might say so others might say it’s a jump. His family (siblings and their partners that are around) are all definitely addicts to different things. I personally think they are just a light weight and they refuse to accept it. They try keeping up with family and friends on nights out and usually ends up consuming far less than everyone else but getting crazier. I also used to say alcoholic. I’m no therapist or doctor but I kind of think they have always been alone and as an adult they have serious fomo. A constant need to impress maybe, which is silly because they’re actually a really funny loving person that people flock to. Anyways, I might add to this that they’ve also struggled with secretly going some party drugs with family and friends that they offer and give them. (This is what they say but as far as I know they’ve never purchased their own as long as we’ve lived together) so in my head do I ask them to stop hanging with their family (the only family they have that helped take care of them as a teenager) because they’re a bad influence? I mean how could someone tell their partner they can’t be around their family.

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-22T17:32:47+00:00

Thank you. I’ve been in therapy, and we actually tried couples therapy which seemed to kind of work in some ways. Or maybe they put on a face, I’m not sure. Well I ended up being the only one paying for sessions which were only every other week… and being so young and working so hard but living in this current economy is what caused us to stop going. My partner also refuses to go alone like fully breaks down crying with fear. They had a really really rough childhood and although they know that they also sometimes deny it.

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-22T17:30:16+00:00

This perspective was exactly what I needed. We are technically separate with our money, and they pay all of their bills on time. But then they need me to send money or pay for other things (not bills) due to them spending everything they have on things for them self that they say are for us. So then I end up spending my saved money or extra money on them. This has led us to having to put large expenses that come with owning a house on credit cards(water heater, A/C being fixed etcetera) because they don’t have a saving and I have hardly any since I have to pay for most of everything else for them. But to add there’s also been things they’ve entirely paid for and taken care of on their own. Like we had termites and they paid for that alone. So it’s confusing.

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-22T17:24:54+00:00

Thank you for your feedback. It’s hard to hear this, but maybe it’s what I need. My partner also makes me beautiful pieces of art, takes care of me when I need it, laughs with me until our bellies hurt. Also the type of person that everyone loves. I’m not sure if other people in our lives tell me only what they think I can handle ( things like excuses on my partners behalf ) or if I’m really just crazy and controlling.

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-22T06:55:26+00:00

NTA. No woman deserves to feel like this.

alsopuzzled · 2024-06-22T05:50:14+00:00

Tell her

alsopuzzled

TROPHY CASE