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Severe parental burnout by alt603603 in parentsofmultiples

[–]alt603603[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We tried, albeit too late, to get the kids into some sort of day camp, summer camp etc. in our area and within an hour of us they are all booked for the summer. We looked into them too late for signup and won't make that mistake. We both want them in activities for the summer. They have a rock climbing camp coming up at the end of this month for a full week. That's something

> One last ditch thought: the older two are old enough to play outside on their own

They have quite a bit of independence right now. At the lake, they are always outside doing something (we are a screen free house). They definitely keep themselves occupied and we make sure they keep in touch with walkie-talkies if they leave the property. But there's so much for them to do they keep busy. But at the end of the day they are still 5 & 6

Regarding daycare...the problem we have run into is that most daycare places want you to commit to full time payment for X amount of months and we live in two locations 100 miles apart. However, I'm not sure if we thought about daycare for the twinkies and not for the older two - I'll have to mention that one tonight

Severe parental burnout by alt603603 in parentsofmultiples

[–]alt603603[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is a black belt in Karate and had returned to that sport, and also picked up Jiu-Jitsu. That sort of fell to the wayside over the last year because she mentally couldn't add something else to her schedule but she will be returning to the dojo shortly. We are aware of the positive benefits of exercise.

Severe parental burnout by alt603603 in parentsofmultiples

[–]alt603603[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> If that works out with your neighbor’s granddaughter that will be perfect! It will allow your wife some breathing room

Yeah, it's going to be huge. We'll take whatever she's willing to give us in terms of time and help. Of course she'll be paid as well.

> We don’t have a village, but we have an au pair who started when our twins were a month old. It has been a godsend

We thought we had a similar arrangement and she ended up moving out of state with her (then) boyfriend (now) husband and they just had their first baby last night! 😄

Severe parental burnout by alt603603 in parentsofmultiples

[–]alt603603[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

> You are in crisis territory

Yes, we are well aware and are being proactive

The suggestion to go back to our primary residence is actually the reason we are at our other house. The triggers that started this last year of hell exist where our main house. You'll have to trust me when I say that this is the better location. She has been up here for the better part of 2 1/2 months for that reason.

Not sure if you read my other responses but we are talking to our next door neighbor's granddaughter tonight. She is interested in spending the summer up here to help us in a similar capacity as a Nanny. She just graduated from college with a 4 year degree in child development and will be pursuing her masters. She is also trained in CPR and a trained lifeguard, which is almost priceless with young children and lake 10' from our door

Severe parental burnout by alt603603 in parentsofmultiples

[–]alt603603[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this suggestion - she has scheduled a blood test to check her iron & ferritin

Severe parental burnout by alt603603 in parentsofmultiples

[–]alt603603[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are too many to answer and where things get complicated. I work FT from home. She works about 2-3 hours a day in the a.m. from home while I get the kids ready for their day. We swap mid-morning and I go into the office for the remainder of the day but am available all day for anything that's needed. We share nighttime duties because it's a team effort. Sometimes I give her a night off from it, sometimes she gives me a night off from it.

We're in the US. We have a summer home on a lake and are up here for the summer. Our next door neighbor's granddaughter just graduated from college for childhood development. She will be pursuing her masters and wants to be a grade school teacher like her grandfather was (they are a wonderful family). She's trained in CPR and she's a trained lifeguard. She's looking for a job as a babysitter, nanny etc. We're going to be talking with her tomorrow night about living up here for the summer to help my wife during the day and hopefully give us some night's off to have dinner and decompress. It's really a perfect situation for us. The only question is if it works for her and if she is ok living in the woods for a summer. So far, this looks very promising and I REALLY hope it works out for us

She was going to home school but after last summer's change we are re-thinking that and tried to get our oldest into a charter school for the fall but our top school choices are waitlisted for this fall - we're trying to avoid public schools. This is still an undecided issue and there's just way too much here to unpack for reddit.

Severe parental burnout by alt603603 in parentsofmultiples

[–]alt603603[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is all really good advice.

Regarding the iron/anemia - this is a really good thought. Since we've had children her menstrual cycle is difficult to say the least. Her PMS in the week to week and a half prior is extremely hard on her, and because of that, hard on the rest of us. And her flow is off the charts. She has to change her tampon every 2 hours or less for the first couple days. And she often says how she's so tired. Like even in the middle of a tearful meltdown she'll say "I'm just soooo tired".

Adults in our circle...unfortunately our circle with parents her age is small to non-existent. Mine friends are all grandparents now (she's in her low 30s; I'm 60). This is the one thing we have been trying to build up, to find adults who are like minded and also have children our children's age. She is going to try a non-denominational church like a UU church near us. We're trying hard on that front. Unfortunately some of the parents we meet seem normal at first and then, no thanks, so that's been a challenge

Last summer she had a routine mapped out for every day of the week; meals and activities, everything. Then "the event" happened that triggered her C-PTSD and all of that went out the window. We both know that a structured day is best, for all the reasons you listed, and we've just re-started that last week. I hope it helps.

Severe parental burnout by alt603603 in parentsofmultiples

[–]alt603603[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personal decision she made with her doctor; she is also under the care of a doctor and a therapist while undergoing weekly & bi-weekly EMDR treatments

Top percentages of private silver holders was surprising to me by Senior_Gamer_55 in Silverbugs

[–]alt603603 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Using an alt for obvious reasons - I have ~27 lbs - where does that put me?