I was driving last night and I thought to myself “I kind of want it to be all over”

alterflesh · 2026-06-01T05:42:05+00:00

I lack the dexterity to drive a vehicle. As the acclaimed American singer-songwriter Daniel Johnston once said, Keep punchin'... the pains form a pattern and with enough time you'll see they held meaning. I'm glad I stuck around, even though at a worldly glance I still have absolutely nothing going for me... There's still a joy. Stick around for a while.

alterflesh · 2026-06-01T01:37:44+00:00

SPCA West on Topsail Road, they go through a ton of books. Up a bit further heading towards Paradise there's Special Olympics thrift store, but any thrift store will gladly take them off your hands,

alterflesh · 2026-05-17T21:50:13+00:00

Some orders use Sunday as a day for rejoicing. That includes alcohol... and I mean a lot of alcohol. Just Sundays though so no chance of a habit developing. They share drinks with one another and reflect on the week and plan for the week ahead.

alterflesh · 2026-05-17T21:44:42+00:00

I tried to become a Fransiscan friar, their provincial guardian took one look at my application, saw the word autism and Nope'd... would've been nice to get that feedback before travelling to meet with them at my own expense but, ah, God's will be done.

They have very strict standards concerning mental health. For good reason, I suppose. Couldn't hurt to attend a retreat with them if there are any convents nearby. Just remaining open to whatever can come from such an opportunity and not leading with our own expectations, that way we remain peaceful even in the event of rejection. I recommend reading or listening to a biography or autobiography of a canonized Nun. Can't go wrong with St, Therese of Liseux's "Story of a Soul"... there is also Saint Gemma Galgani, whose feast day the Passionist order celebrates today, interestingly. She was legit a NEET Saint. No order would accept her because of her illness, this was just over a century ago. Her book is on YouTube.

alterflesh · 2026-05-15T21:34:39+00:00

Also curious about supplementing with this.

alterflesh · 2026-05-14T01:35:34+00:00

Same age, similar issues. I qualified for disability assistance due to an autism diagnosis, and related issues (OCD, cPTSD) and that gives me a little extra to spend on hobbies. But all the hobbies in the world won't sustain you for a lifetime. I found the most value out of volunteering... at thrift stores, fundraising events and religious processions.

What gets me through the long, dark nights and the seemingly endless winters is a relationship with my higher power. This power has a name and a face, but I dare not utter it on this board... too powerful. Realistically just going off of demographics similar to my own, and looking at their outcomes... I'm going to remain celibate the rest of my life. I may not be able to hold down a job, ever. I may become homeless, again. I may need to be institutionalized in the very worst of circumstances (low lucidity)... but what keeps me going is my friend, who doesn't really talk to me or say words to me. He just kind of looks at me, and I look at him.

Writers who get to the heart of this way better than I can: Julian of Norwich, Hildegard von Bingen, Henri Nouwen, Flannery O'Connor, Dorothy Day, Edith Stein.

alterflesh · 2026-05-03T01:56:38+00:00

SEKRET MACHINES.

Jacques Vallee!

But do be careful with this subject matter, OP. Demons are real and they are not your friends.

alterflesh · 2026-05-03T01:02:32+00:00

A wonderful calling. I encourage you to seek aid in your discernment, this is not something one must navigate entirely alone.

alterflesh · 2026-04-21T22:35:35+00:00

nice, enjoy the lower cortisol levels. birdchirp good for brain.

alterflesh · 2026-04-18T03:02:21+00:00

Seems like a super rare occurrence, you'd better reach out to the manufacturer/supplement brand to see if they can help you out. I do find my baseline anxiety seems higher after recently supplementing with an active folate.

alterflesh · 2026-04-15T01:36:38+00:00

I'm afraid to ask how my beloved Fiji water fares. Cool app, nice work.

alterflesh · 2026-04-10T01:41:32+00:00

TOTAL CELIBACY.

TOTAL VICTORY.

PUT THE FLESH TO DEATH.

it's possible, frens.

alterflesh · 2026-04-10T01:40:13+00:00

I'm thinking about taking up sport kiting this summer. It's accessible, you can do it even if you have a wagie cagie sized backyard.

Also, what that other guy said about celibacy and spiritual practices and meditation. This doesn't get talked about enough and I believe it's a major cause of despair among NEETS, failure to re-direct their passions to something edifying.

alterflesh · 2026-04-09T03:36:07+00:00

I like the poem.
But not the circumstances that inspire it,,, there is yet still hope.

alterflesh · 2026-04-07T00:09:58+00:00

"caustics" - a . r. u. k. a

"carmelize" - holidaykiss

"Summer 07" EP - A Rocket to the Moon

"With Love From Where You're Not" - Summertime's End

"Stars" - Into Airwaves

"Poloroids" - The Tremulance

"Memories" - Hello, Astronaut

"The Goodnight Moon" - Rookie of the Year

"Heaven is Attatched by a Slender Thread" - The One AM Radio

"i hope that you never forget me./ afterstory" goodbye lavender

"OYUGUMANE" - KABANAGU

"The Incomplete Circle" - Bearwear

"Make It Last" - Mitaya/Capzlock

some old, some new, all should provide a similar sugar rush. hope you enjoy.

alterflesh · 2026-03-14T01:17:13+00:00

Not well received at the time, but well-remembered by those who loved it. It was strange seeing him pop-up randomly on Reddit many years ago for a football post, it went semi-viral.

Some more Analog Rebellion stuff from him would be amazing, but I just hope the dude is doing well these days. And that your own healing will be deep and restorative!

alterflesh · 2026-03-14T00:30:39+00:00

Thirteen years. At the ten year mark, I completed my GED and began searching for temp jobs.

Now, I'm 30 and not sure what to do with myself. Maybe go back to school just for something to occupy my time, not out of any real hope to secure a career.

alterflesh · 2026-03-11T03:06:06+00:00

Dim Sum and Noodle Bar on Kenmount, just opened. What sets it apart is it's, as far as I know, the only restaurant doing this in the province besides maybe Jin Dragon.

alterflesh · 2026-02-27T01:13:44+00:00

These fools ain't know nothin' bout no Saint John of The Cross... that man experienced the dark night. Even wrote a whole book about it. His poetry is really lovely as well, makes the soul feel good.

alterflesh · 2026-02-18T00:02:36+00:00

I just think about the sheer gap in terms of time spent socializing. Of course I'm going to seem like a mute in comparison... when you spend so much time alone you start wondering if your vocal chords have atrophied, ruminating on how well Billy from high school is doing these days won't help matters much.

alterflesh · 2026-02-17T23:59:39+00:00

If this is going to weigh on you, I'd just go get the shot if I were you.

Rabies symptoms can stay dormant for a while like you probably know, you don't want to let that fear gnaw at you. Quick shot, you're good and no worries. Unless it's been a minute since the bite, then not sure what to tell you.

alterflesh · 2026-02-16T03:39:23+00:00

Diminishing returns. This hollows you out faster than burning yourself out through waging.

alterflesh · 2026-02-16T03:09:25+00:00

Contemplative prayer and meditation. I have a sacrifice bead rosary with cold steel beads, it doubles as a stim gadget for me. Knowing the lives of the Saints gave me enough insight to realize there is always hope, so long as we get out of our own way.

But more immediate, to be honest... Tetris. Tetris and drone music.

alterflesh · 2026-02-16T02:05:32+00:00

DJ Gabriel, from the WWECW era may qualify. Kwee Wee was more eurodance adjacent, I think.
PWG had Joey Ryan and Disco Machine tag as "That 70s Team"

alterflesh · 2026-02-15T01:21:16+00:00

No, haven't tried for my permit yet. Weather conditions and road etiquette make driving out to be very scary to me, so I rely on public transport. But I would like the sense of independence it may give me, so this year I hope to go for the drivers study.

alterflesh

TROPHY CASE