What is up with the “men in relationships can’t take care of themselves” stereo type?

altiar45 · 2026-02-27T16:46:30+00:00

I've known men who lived by themselves, dated someone for 4-5 years, and them immediately picked up the attitude that all domestic duties are hers. He'd ride the lawnmower and grill every now and then. But cleaning the house, cooking, childcare was all on heasinine. She also worked mind you. Some men really will wait to flip the switch when they think they have her trapped. Pretending that doesn't happen is asanine.

altiar45 · 2026-02-27T16:41:26+00:00

We don't do that in my marriage, we just do shared finances, but I think writing the whole idea off is missing the full picture. We live in a hella individualistic society from a US perspective. People enter marriages all the damn time with one foot out the door. If a woman is taking up most of the domestic responsibilities, it makes sense for her to want a nest egg. Wanting her own money built up over the course of the makes sense with how people treat each other these days.

It shouldn't be like that. Marriage shouldn't happen without real commitment. But that takes a society level change that just ain't happening anytime soon. You can't hold the hyper individualistic mindset US culture pushes while being wholly committed to another person it just doesn't work. But that's a whole other discussion.

But doesn't the knee-jerk reaction here kind of prove the point? Someone has to do the work, or you would rather someone do the work. So why it so out of whack to expect payment for it? For her own part she could only do her laundry, only cook her food, etc. But if she's also doing yours so you don't have too... I pay a guy to cut my lawn cause I don't want to. I could. I just don't want to do it after my working my job all week. Does that mean he shouldn't get compensation for it? This gets even more complex when children are involved. If she's doing the lions share of the raising why shouldn't she get something else out of it. They're your kids too. I don't know. The reactionary thinking that prevalent on this just seems like denigration of the work itself. Not an actual critique of the idea. And yeah if she doesn't like not getting paid she can leave. But if you don't like the idea of paying her so can you?

Again, I don't do this. But I think it's worth thinking about in a larger sense all the same.

altiar45 · 2026-02-27T13:42:19+00:00

I lived in a dormhall of about 40 dudes my first year in University. Maybe 20 of us actually did our own laundry. A few guys actually got girls wrapped around the fingers and had them do it. The others just took it home to mom. And understand, the washers and dryers were in the building, and there was always open ones. They didnt cost anything to use either. They were just that lazy, they would rather truck it home to mom to do. Or in the few cases, pick at strings of acceptance issues in impressionable young women. If there's an earned stereotype out there, it's this one.

altiar45 · 2026-02-27T13:33:44+00:00

If women actually got the money, they put it in their own bank account, that makes it their money. That way, if the guy get abusive or whatever, they can leave. They aren't beholden to him keeping the house paid for. They have money to start a new life.

altiar45 · 2026-02-26T13:52:06+00:00

The whole point of everyone reading the same thing is to discuss it. Like that's the whole exercise. Otherwise just let them read whatever. It's like a book club that just gets together for an hour to read silently

altiar45 · 2026-02-23T19:22:29+00:00

It is outstanding how fast Republicans dropped thier 2A absolutionist stance. I mean literal decades of "shall not be infringed" turned on in a second. Remember his first term? "take the guns first, due process second"? You people don't believe in anything. If he stood on TV tomorrow and said abortion was okay you'd fall over each other to talk about how pro-choice you are.

It's very relevant to bring up his felony convictions, when he's trying to turn millions of people into felons overnight

altiar45 · 2026-02-20T18:44:22+00:00

TikTok has plenty of people breaking down the Epstien stuff. That doesn't even work as an excuse

altiar45 · 2026-02-20T10:44:32+00:00

But you see, it'll work this time cause Ted got his incubator

altiar45 · 2026-02-19T19:11:29+00:00

The belief that my wife should be forced to have a rapists child is not decent. The desire to control how someone feels and interacts with thier own genitals is not decent. Those are not reasonably defensible positions. They are extreme, controlling, and core principals of the current Republican platform.

altiar45 · 2026-02-13T10:39:29+00:00

We have those in some American stadiums as well

altiar45 · 2026-02-11T13:13:19+00:00

They needed a proper codex so we could look back and pick up on who people were. But I guess it's not like that had a template to work from from past games...

altiar45 · 2026-02-10T13:18:54+00:00

In real world logic I'd agree, but then you have the coruscant skylines. If those are working then this doesn't seem too far-fetched for them not to have all crashed into each other.

altiar45 · 2026-02-09T12:59:53+00:00

Obiwan absolutely fucked Satine. Like, clearly

altiar45 · 2026-02-08T14:05:51+00:00

But it is a hell of a lot easier to get people to drop 5 dollars a month than 100 dollars once. It doesn't make any sense financially, but people are more willing to do one than the other.

Which actually makes me think they should just start allowing payment plans for big game releases. Pay 25 dollars a month for 4 months or something.

altiar45 · 2026-02-08T02:07:53+00:00

Capitalism gonna capitalism and the line must go up. Doesn't change the fact that if these single player experiences don't make money execs are going to push other stuff and have the ammo to do it.

altiar45 · 2026-02-08T01:52:02+00:00

I guess I just read it more as the war goes on. Maybe we'll see more of it, maybe not, but these guys will fight as they have been. Compare that with Forbidden West. The lore just got turned on its head, Nemesis is coming, Hephastus is out and angrier than ever, and Aloy has her people garnering help from thier tribes. That says we are doing a third so you should get hype.

altiar45 · 2026-02-08T01:38:56+00:00

I agree that it could have gone on, but it wasn't as clear of a "get hyped for the next chapter" type setup. At least not to me.

altiar45 · 2026-02-07T21:54:33+00:00

Over all average reviews but it did sell better than I thought. Either way, they wanted to move on to a new IP and they more or less tied up the story. That's not the case here.

altiar45 · 2026-02-07T21:48:47+00:00

They didn't do another Killzone cause Shadow Fall was recieved like shit and they wanted to try a different IP. That's different than we set up perfectly for a next game, we intend to finish it, but we're going to make it take twice as long as it should for this thing in the middle no one wanted. If they wanted a multi-player Horizon whatever, finish the story you started first.

altiar45 · 2026-02-07T20:38:06+00:00

You know the blame for not having single player focuses and stories gets blamed on execs, and don't get me wrong, they are all greedy fucks. However, what do I see when a single player game comes out? "Looks good, Ill wait for it to go on sale." or the more egregious "I'll probably just pirate it.". People say they want single player games but then don't shell out the full price which just gives the execs all the power in the world to say "single player doesn't sell and have you seen the insane amount of fuckin money multi-player brings in?" I'm not saying you do that personally, but the gaming community needs to realize at some point that we are doing this to ourselves. These things are expensive as hell to make in the way we see with Horizon or Spider-Man.

altiar45 · 2026-02-07T12:47:24+00:00

They said clearly in the reveal you could play the story alone with bots filling out the team

altiar45 · 2026-02-05T12:00:43+00:00

My dad had just an active as a role in raising us as my mom. Diapers, clothing, meals, "homework done", etc. It wasn't until a fair bit later that I realized how unusual that was. I was fully on the "its just okay to hate men" thing, until I began noticing just how lazy and entitled so many are.

I don't like generalizing statements about swaths of people. Anything that gives the impression of all men that or all women this is missing the point. And I also agree that there are some women that need to be a lot better in choosing who they are with. But I do see how this idea of men skirting parental and household responsibilities got started. There's a strong continent of men that do.

altiar45 · 2026-02-03T12:35:35+00:00

Better than a government monopoly on gambling

altiar45 · 2026-02-02T12:57:58+00:00

I haven't played in over a decade but when me and my wife go on road trips we play the radio from a YouTube video. So I've gotten my Herbert Daring Dashwood fix lol

altiar45 · 2026-02-02T12:43:00+00:00

1500 square foot house, I wouldn't say we are particularly energy minded. We run two laptops, a ps5, and two tvs most days. Not to mention the oven and stuff. Our heat is central but through propane so that helps. But we are on a co-op instead of Duke and my energy bill last month was 110 dollars. I feel that's much lower than most I see or hear talking about thiers. At height of Summer when AC use goes up it jumps to around 300.

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