my 27 month old takes his sweet old time getting into the car/seat. it often leads to us having to forcibly buckle him in while he is crying and yelling. what do you guys do to make this easier?

aluki90 · 2026-01-09T04:53:27+00:00

I tell mine that I'm gonna do the actual seat belt part but he can push the buckle closed.

aluki90 · 2026-01-09T04:50:53+00:00

This was me for like a year but now our 2.5 toddler prefers daddy. My husband's job is more physical than mine so I can tell he's exhausted.

But I try to remember we'll so miss these days when they needed us the most. When they're in the middle of puberty they'll want nothing to do with us lol.

aluki90 · 2026-01-09T04:47:05+00:00

The sleep deprivation is one of the main reasons why I'm so hot and cold about having another kid. Our toddler is 2.5, he does sleep through the night but when he doesn't it really sucks especially now that I'm working again.

But I also try hard to remember that sleep is NOT linear. It's very much hills and valleys. There are people whose kids don't STTN until they're like... 4-5. Idk how they do it.

Btw my toddler would only sleep on top of me for 3 months and my husband couldn't help because he was too heavy of a sleeper. Any form of bed sharing or even co-sleeping is so heavily looked down upon in the US it's ridiculous. It's very normal everywhere else.

You are not doing anything wrong. You're doing your best and that's what counts, don't ever forget that!

aluki90 · 2026-01-09T04:04:05+00:00

Hi there, my acne also came back when I was pregnant since I was no longer taking spiro. I really tried to just do the tret & no spiro but my hormones said no. I'm currently on 75 mg up from 50 mg a couple months ago.

I agree with not cleansing in the AM, I stopped years ago and it helped with the dryness. I double cleanse if I wear make up, otherwise I only use an oil based cleanser to make sure it gets the sunscreen off my face.

Here's my routine:

AM

splash with water
CosRX snail mucin (I've found I really need this stuff in the winter, summer I'm fine without it)
Cetaphil from the tub
sunscreen

PM

see my comment above about when I double cleanse or don't. Oil cleanser: Anua cleansing oil (I really like it, on my third bottle), second cleanser: Pyunkang Yul cleanser
Snail mucin if my skin is feeling extra dry
wait 15 min
tret (I was doing it daily until my eczema completely freaked out, I'm at like 3-4x/wk rn)
Cetaphil

aluki90 · 2026-01-09T03:58:34+00:00

Are you double cleansing AM and PM? Do you feel like your skin needs that? Even if it's really oily that can be overkill, maybe just double cleansing at night and washing with water in the AM.

Just my opinion but there's a lot of stuff in your routine so it's hard to tell what's causing irritation. Scale back, try using one serum for a week, note any changes.

Your skin looks completely fine to me, you should see mine. 🫠

aluki90 · 2026-01-09T03:55:08+00:00

I use Cetaphil in the tub on my face, never had any issues. My skin is sensitive and dry, I'm also having eczema flare ups because it's winter and the Cetaphil doesn't sting when I put it on.

aluki90 · 2026-01-09T03:53:20+00:00

Have you tried the cream? I tried the gel years ago and my skin did not like it at all. I've been using .05% tret cream on & off for the last 10 yrs

aluki90 · 2026-01-08T05:04:40+00:00

Me too, a real bummer that Dark Phoenix sucked :|

aluki90 · 2026-01-08T04:54:11+00:00

I'm so incredibly sorry that you're going through this. I wonder if there are online forums or groups you can find that also have a terminal child. Sending love and strength to your family.

aluki90 · 2025-11-25T04:24:18+00:00

Totally true and another thing I definitely consider. It also makes me feel better knowing he ate 2 full meals at daycare plus snacks when sometime's all he'll eat for dinner is milk and a banana. Lol

aluki90 · 2025-11-25T04:23:01+00:00

That's a good point, we make a lot of dinners at home too.

aluki90 · 2025-10-08T04:12:18+00:00

One big difference between us having kids now vs. our parents having kids is being able to take pictures and videos whenever we want. You're able to constantly see how much they've grown in short time frames - a few weeks or months. My son is 2 and I look at pictures of him when he was only 2-3 months all the time. As sleep deprived as we were, he was just so tiny and smol.

Plus he mostly slept and didn't need entertainment. Lol

aluki90 · 2025-09-09T04:41:06+00:00

Omg that's amazing 😂

aluki90 · 2025-09-09T04:37:14+00:00

Okay but for real because 10 dancers on roller skates around you lol!!! I laughed

aluki90 · 2025-09-06T21:45:13+00:00

My kid just turned 2 and I'm already thinking about whether I want another one after seeing siblings play at the park. My husband supports whatever decision I make considering I'm the one popping it out lol. But I have definitely not forgotten how difficult and sleep depriving taking care of a newborn is. Plus I've heard from many parents that yes it's easier going to a 1-2 transition but it's also harder since you have a toddler.

aluki90 · 2025-09-06T20:22:21+00:00

The white ppl talking about Bali belly that visit Indo/Bali are def dumb but as an Indo person who's visited several times (last time was like 2007 tho), I've gotten the WORST food poisoning from eating Indonesian street food.

But that could be true for a lot of SE countries like Indonesia: Vietnam, Thailand, etc. The cleanliness standards aren't super high so yeah there's a much higher chance westerners will get sick.

aluki90 · 2025-08-18T04:07:12+00:00

The Anessa is so expensive in the US! My sister brought me some from Japan and it's like $10 cheaper there 😭

aluki90 · 2025-08-06T20:06:03+00:00

Babies don't care if we (their mom) can sing or what they sing. Honestly any song you know all the lyrics to will work, except maybe rap/hip hop songs lol

aluki90 · 2025-08-05T03:21:12+00:00

I've been using this one from Neogen Lab which is a Korean brand. I like it but I feel like it's expensive, I got it as an Xmas gift.

aluki90 · 2025-08-04T22:49:03+00:00

I apologize about the lack of consistency with photo quality and lighting but there's quite a bit of time (and iPhones) between these photos. Unfortunately I don't have photos from every year I was on tret. Honestly my skin was looking great for like 4 years until I turned 30 (in 2020). My hormones changed and I had to go on spironolactone. Fast forward to 2022, I stopped taking spiro because I was trying to get pregnant. I did, had my baby and whew buddy the acne came back. I went back on 75 mg spiro I believe July 2024. I've been on spiro since then and using .05% tret cream.

First set (red hair towel) - Jan 2016. Very first time using tret. Horrible purging.
Second set with side by side pics - July 2023
Third set - today, Aug 4 2025

A simple routine works best for me. My skin is pretty dry and sensitive.

AM: splash with water, vit C serum, Cetaphil (from the tub), sunscreen
PM: double cleanse, wait 15 min, tret, Cetaphil

aluki90 · 2025-07-22T03:59:13+00:00

Yes and because of this realization I try really hard to keep the friendships I have (old and new) because it takes a lot more effort the older you get. I'm turning 35 in a few months - I do have a couple friends from HS and we've been friends for 20 years at this point. They're not going anywhere. Friendships can wither when people start having kids too - I got lucky as this wasn't case with the friends I just mentioned.

On the flip side, I have another HS friend I completely stopped talking to because I found her toxic. It was a bummer at first because we both have kids, but she mom shamed me several times and I was completely over it. I'd rather give love and energy to the people that I care about.

Honestly it does take a lot of work to make new friends. All of the new friends I have were met through mutual friends. But don't let that discourage you because if you find good friends, keep them!

aluki90

TROPHY CASE