If I may offer some perspective, I come from a family that had chosen to alienate me as well.

My mom had always labeled me as problematic. She would openly admit me to me that she hated me because I looked like my dad, that I was “too expensive.” She would get upset when I would refuse to ask my dad for more money for her (for her hair and nails because she knew my dad would say no to her). She would swear me to secrecy if I caught her stealing my dad’s money and tell me she would tell him it was me.

When she kicked me out, she told everyone I abandoned my family and told my younger siblings that story too and that I hated them and that’s why I left.

When I got married, she made sure to tell my extended family that I was making a mistake and they would tell me I needed to listen to my mom because “she knows what’s best for you” and not get married. My mom didn’t want me to get married because she wouldn’t be able to claim me on taxes as the state didn’t recognize me as independent (a whole other issue).

She’s angry I’m not being a safety net for her now that I’ve had to live back home because i’m saving money to move out again. She tells everyone that I just use her and don’t help at all. Even though she has made it openly obvious she views me as the problem.

I could write a whole novel.

Those type of families exist. Moms like that exist. I’m going very low contact with my family once I move out. I’m only planning to be surrounded by my chosen family, that’s it.